The Broken Sword and Soul
by Kasan Soulblade
Summary: Time does not ease the pain of loss, only deepens it.Kratos is made an offer,one to bring back what was lost,but that gift comes from the hands of a murderer
1. Alter of glass

Author's note,

Oh come on you think after I put up Tales of Sillyness that I didn't have a nice juicy angsty fic up my sleave? As promised here's the second half of the DES epilouge titled. "Broken Sword and Broken Soul" Don't know how long it's gunna be but what I can say is it is not a one shot.

As always,

enjoy,

Kasan Soulblade

Chapter one

'Room of a broken soul'

The city was silent, as it always was. His heartbeat seemed to loud, that the fragile structures of crystal and ghostly marbl would shatter do the sound. He hated this places, hated it's silence. As did the one he sought, he had not expected to come here in his search, but then he never thought he would have to search for the man for at least another sixty years. Clearing his throat, licking his lip- purely mortal shows of his anxiaty that he had never learned to discard- the blue haired half elf rose his black gloved hand. He rapped on the steel door, cursing how the matereal set a jolt through his arm, thinking for one witsful moment of how cold the steel must feel. Yet he coudl not feel that cold, cold was a vauge memory for him. There was no response to his knock, to his cries, he looked around anxiously, the angels did not seem to care, did not seem to know that he existed, they stared at him with glassy eyes and went on with thier endless paterened flight. It was not them seeing him that made him nervious, rather the wieght of all those empty stares, and the thin feeling of dread that hung in the air. Dread, fear, for an old friend, for the one not answering his door. He pressed his pointed ear against the door, strained hearing, and knew that his informant was right. There was a very faint, very slow pounding of a heartbeat on the other side.

Then there was a new sound, and one that he could not place. Or rather one he could not place in a world where silence reined. A soft sight, and a shattering, the almost muscial breaking of glass against floor.

"Kratos, open the door!" Yuan bellowed, ignoring the mindless angles that stared at him for being so noisy, they promptly looked away and just as promptly forgot. Yuan yelled a few more times, trying to put authority into his voice, yet there was nothing. Only the faint sound of breaking glass and that heart beat. Snarling an oath in elvish Yuan made a gesture, summoned his wings and waisted a few moments flying around the serahpim's house. He pushed on the great planes of glass and silver that revealed the bulk of Kratos' home to any who would fly around, or they would have had not the ex-mercenary pulled all the curtains shut. He contemplated breaking them, but with his wings flapping and his cloak rustling behind him he could not hear that steady heart beat, for all he knew his fellow seraphim could be in range of the blast, be in the room, and while he would not die from such a low powered attack... He could get hurt, and if he was in the same state as Yuan's informant had seen him in. Kratos might find a way to will that hurt to equal death.

Cursing Yuan glided over the roof, weaving past the false watch towers, he landed on the marble that served as the house's pourch. And while he stared at the door preping a spell his mind was seeing his most strange informant. Recalling in the vivid torment that was a seraphim's memory he saw every detail of the meeting and heard every nausence of the conversation.

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Rain tapped against the room with it's wet fingers, seeking some way into the building, and finding none it seemed content to merely scrape it's nails against his patience. Of all the places he wanted to go, in all the weather that existed in any world he hated it when it rained. The rain was wet, it wieghed him down, and since flying was his main mode of transportation it was a damn inconvience. He took the chair nearest to the fire, wrung out his sapphire hued hair, and wiated for the fire to do it's job. He was aware of the patrons of the tavern around him, and also aware of something very strange about the tavern. It was clean, as clean as any Tethe'alla gentleman's mansion, and the clientele seemed to be actually sober. With the way things were going in this world, with the world in it's continuous decay, that was a wonder to behold. And another wonder, no one was in arms, no one was protesting his presence, he made no secret of his pointed ears that marked him of upholding non-human heritage. Most other places his presence might well have started a riot.

Baffled he looked to the other tables, and he saw why no one was giving him problems of yet. Everyone was unarmed. He glanced at the door and flushed, there right in the open was a sign asking all patrons who were going to drink to leave there weapons in the box. Feeling like a prime fool Yuan realized that while it was policy for those be be inbewing intoxicating liquid it was custom for weapons to be left at the door by all the patrons. Men lingering around the bar as well as those supping on fish stew, they were all unarmed and by not doing so he was standing out.

Well what was the point, it would do him some good to draw some attention to himself, at least that's what Botta had said in his report.

_"This man knows Kratos, I don't know the dynamic of there relationship nor it's depth, but he might have information. He's a blunt spoken, simple, man about 5'4". He's a blonde human going through the first stages of balding, sporting dark blue eyes and a sorry excuse of a beard. Scrawney, he'll look like a stick, and though he tried to dress like a common man he's got that sailor's walk to him like he's used to being at sea. He has three son's one daughter and the wife is pregnant..." Botta coughed. "My Goddess he's been busy..." Catching his superior's look of anger the Renegade comander flushed. "Sorry my lord, he owns a inn in Luin, it's more prosperous then the Phenoix, and it's located a half mile south east from the main fountain that glorifies Luin's lake. The mans name is Syt, his wife is Issa, and his children's names... are not listed, I guess the spies couldn't get the information Sir. To our knowledge the family's last name is the same as the husband's first but that's uncertain."_

_"When were they first seen in Kratos' company?"_

_"Before the incident in Falnoir Sir, after the Seraphim's pet killed a fisherman, they traveled together by boat and on land struck different paths after Kratos escorted the sailor and his family to Luin."_

Significant, while Botta had thorugh nothing of it that last bit of information prayed on Yuan's mind. Kratos did not offer his survices as a mercenary freely, he'd even charged Martel, Mithos, and Yuan in the begining of thier journey together and that price had nearly bankrupted them. Yet from Botta's words Kratos had offered to protect the sailor and his family. The Kratos he knew wouldn't have done that, the old Kratos was cold, detatched, calculating, utterly unaprouchable, and only in it for the money or his honor. Yuan's lips curled a bit in disgust, Kratos was weakening himself, becoming attached to those around him, first a wife then a child and then... friends. The seraphim recalled long ago how Kratos had asked Martel's name, but not Mithos' or Yuan's. Infuriated Mithos had demanded to know why the human was snubbing them, Kratos' reply had been blood chilling.

"I owe Ms. Yggdrasil a debt of honor and I will repay it, to you I owe nothing. And really what's the point in learning your names? You'll all be dead in a month or two. If you are not killed by this fools quest you go on, or some random human or elf taken by blood frenzy, or by some starving animal, or by your own lack of wilderness lore, then maybe I'll take the pains to learn your names. Until then why bother? I have no skills as a stone cutter, and wood rots too swiftly to be a good marker for a grave, a pit in the woods is all you will get if you die in my presence. Pits do not need names scralwed upon them, they have no markers, and that's all your names would be to me."

Yet despite the cooling of the blood Kratos' words brought, the dispassion, there was a strength in Kratos. A calm detachment that had cooled the rightous anger of Mithos so that it would not hurt them, had allowed the man to fight on despite a multitude of wounds that Yuan sharing had scumbled to. Kratos was strong, his strength was his ability to distance himself, and he was weakening himself by making attachments. In that Mithos and Yaun shared the same stance. There was no point in reaching out anymore, for all that they loved was long dead, and if they opened themselves to love all they were asking for was more pain.

For those who lived forever all mortals that they came to know would only die.

Yuan grieved enough, greived for his wife, for his fallen blood brothers, that was enough for him, his heart could bear the wieght of no more tears. He lifted a hand, gestured for the human male who fit Botta's report to come and serve him. He made small talk, all the while gaging the man, reading that open face, and comming up with absolutely nothing. The man was either a master at hiding what he knew or the simple minded fool that he was acting.

Yet with everything on the line, with the lives of his family on the line what man could not become a great actor?

He sipped at the tea he ordered, watched the man go to his other patrons. He was surprised to see one of the regulars point to him and make a gesture suited for wringing the neck of a chicken, Yuan was even more surprised when Syt gave the man a hard look and told the man to leave. The seraphim nearly lost his teeth over that one. Coughing into his cup the blue haired half elf wondered if Syt knew what he was, or rather what he had been. He was even more startled when the human decided to sit with him, carrying over a mug more suited to ale then the drink it held. Recognizing the scent of tea, the same tea Yuan had been sipping, the seraphim rose an eyebrow. The human said nothing, took a pull form his mug and then set it down loudly on the table between them.

"You got a problem with m' drink your lordship?" Both of Yuan's eyebrows hopped up and tried to hide in his hair. "I know you, or I heard o' ya at least." The man took another draw, whiped at his face with the back of a sun worn hand. "And I be thinkin' you know o' me."

"I might." Yuan set his drink aside, stared at the human who fearlessly met his gaze. He was impressed, this man was brave to meet his gaze, very brave. Kratos it seemed, was finding brave human's under the ruins of a dying world these days like you'd find fleas on the back of a mongrel dog. "What I know of you is not important however, no one will hear of this unless you let matters slip on your end."

Syt chuckeled, his eyes glinting with a hint of steel, and it was Yuan who tensed, who's hand went to the comforting hilt of his sword and clenched.

"What your sayin' is that demon child ain't on your tail. That's good news, aye good news indeed." Syt dropped his voice so that Yuan had to strain over the crackles of the fireplace to hear every sylible. "Knowin' now what I know you best be tellin' me what you know... or fairy wings or not I'll still be beatin' the hell outta ya."

"You..." Yuan sputtered, it was the first time in over a milenia that any man dared to challenge him. "If I weren't here for Kratos' benifit I'd kill you."

Syt shrugged.

"If ye weren't I'd be knifin' you, not havin' a sip and bite at yer table. What's your business man?"

"I'm looking for Kratos. He's in danger, Kvar did not die and he..." The look of pain in Syt's eyes made the seraphim lose his train of throught.

"You're really a drift aren't you? They know, he knows, and it seems I be havin' no choice. I'll tell you where he is, but only for a price."

Yuan frowned, pulled his bulging pouch with gald and threw it on the table between them, the human though did not look at it twice. The man's lips curled in disgust, then came the pained expression. A searing pained expression that those who have lost shards of thier souls wear. Without being told Yuan put the pouch back on his belt, he suddenly felt normal agian. He felt like the young half elf bravo he'd been when he first met Kratos, there was a measure of the human man Yuan had secretly admired in Syt's pained eyes.

"You don't be lettin' them take him back, don't let them make him into what he was."

Recalling Anna Yuan smiled slightly, trying to shake off the sense of forboding he laughed. It was forced, fell between the two of them and died in the gloom choked air. Amongst the coiled bodies of his laughter and Syt's pain Yuan forced the next words.

"Human from what I've seen of his wife she won't let that happen. She'll help him keep in the right direction."

"Aye, she would... if she could, you see lad." Syt's eyes gleamed, from his shattered facade of strength lay tears. In the cracks that marred those once smooth and impassive eyes lay enough water it seemed to fill all the dried up streams of the dying world. "The dead.. they can't be helpin' the livin' all that much. Aye they don't be helpin' us much at all."

Silence fell, Yuan dropped his facade of good humor and went very pale. Hsi hands clenched the mug, went white knuckled. Form somewhere he found his voice, though it came out so stragnely that it was as if his hands were clenched around his own throat and not a glass.

"How?"

"Yon squint eyed demon did something to Anna... Turned her into a monster..." Syt drew out a shuddering breath. "To save his son and friend Noishe... Kratos had to kill her."

"Gods!" Yuan trembled, recalling the fierce love he had seen between the two in Falnoir, recalling the woman's pride and strength and that one moment when Mithos had tried to kill her the expression of hatred on Kratos' face. That love turned into an emptyness upon death, an emptyness that he was all too familier with, a knawing all devowering pit that prayed on the soul.

"That's not the worst of it... Lloyd... Noishe... they be dead as well." Syt took a deep breath, his hands shook. After years and years of being an angel, of dealing with others in the most impersonal manner Yuan was surprised by the human's strong emotions, and a little repulsed. "Mithos had a hand in thier deaths or so he be thinkin', he didn't talk too much bout it, I only heard what he said in his delirium and what the Misses managed to get him to talk about."

"Angels don't get ill." Yuan whispered, staring at the human numbly, unable to respond to the news that everything Kratos had loved was now dead. It was inevitable of course, humans died all the time, but still they had been special to Kratos. Kratos had -as much as a seraphim could- loved them, as did the tear eyed Syt if Yuan was any judge. "We... don't get sick, we don't bleed, eat, or do anything remotly conected to mortal life style."

"Really?" Syt whispered, his voice husky with unshead tears. "how little you know of it, how little you know. You'll be keepin' yer word?"

"If I can, I am not... I have little influence."

Syt lowered his head into his hands, stared at nothing in particualr for a long moment.

"If you break your word, iffin' he be what he was when he served that bastard Mithos, and we meet again... You never set a foot in Luin, or I'll kill you, kill you slow." Yuan nodded, taking the human very seriously. "He's in Welgaia, your damn holy city."

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Shivering Yuan gathered his power, he had called out long enough, the lack of response was making him panic. Lighting cracked around his fingers, he summoned orb after orb of crackling power, and the door didn't so much fall in as it shattered under the seraphim's onslaught. Picking his way through the pieces of steel he walked in the empty halls, all was dark, yet he needed no light to see. He found his way, found one door with a bit of light leaking out from under the Sylvarant stylized frame, and turned the handle. Seeing Kratos he stopped breathing. As long as Yuan had known the man Kratos was concious of his appearence, fastidious, and while not vain he had taken pains to look his best. Every lock that fell into his eyes, roused above his head like a porcipine's spike, all was planed and had a look of ordered chaos. Now he saw true chaos, say a rumpled unclean, tormented figure kneeling at an alter the gaze some strange trinket that Yuan could not spy. He saw an arm rise up, something long and metalic gleam red in the candle's light.

"No!" Yuan ran across the room, grabbed Kratos' arm before the knife plunged home. He tried to force the knife down, tried to smash Kratos' arm against the alter, and was thrown aside. He smashed into the floor, and the ground under him bit him. Cursing Yuan stood, silver notes rang out as he picked himself up, and he watched frozen as the knife descended... and shattered like glass cast against the earth. Silvered steel clanged against the alter, spilled down onto the floor.

A floor that was covered in bits of steel, glass, all of them broken, and that sound of bells that he had heard earlyer, he now knew. Tembling Yuan lifted his hands, staed at the blood that pooled from the small knicks and coated his glove in sticky red.

_Angels don't bleed, we can't bleed_...

They did, he did, in almost four thousand years he was bleeding.

"Kratos, please stop!" Yuan cried out seeing the man pick up another knife, the human's tunic was slashed and the flesh undernieth did not bleed. Yuan moved to tackle the human, beat him unconcious if neccisary, and froze as he stared at the item on the alter. A golden sheathed picture, small enough to sit in the palm of his hand, it lay in a pool of golden links. A woman, a man, and a child. A child, Kratos' son, Kratos' family...

Dead they were all dead.

The knife slid across wrist, a wrist whose fleash would not yeild to the blade, would not give Kratos a crimson solace.

Trembling the blue haired seraphim took one step back, another, fires of mortal fury pounding in his brain.

_angels don't die_...

Yggdrasil was right about that, they didn't die even when they wanted to it seemed.

_Angels can not love_...

In that Yggdrasil was wrong for what of grief, of lonelyness!

Look upon this, he wanted to screma at Mithos, tell me we are incapable of love!

"He will pay Kratos I swear it." yuan heard himself swear, as if from far away. "I'll make the bastard pay."

The knife shattered, steel clattered against a growing pile, another knife was taken up.

Unable to watch yet again Yuan turned, ran from that room, form that sight and those sounds. His mind seemed to seeth, writhe, twist in his fury. Mithos would pay for this, for this murder for doing this to Kratos. Anger, pure, and utterly mortal boiled him him. Snarling he shoved on of the lifeless beings out of his way and charged through the city of angels making his way as fast as his feet could cary him to the heart of Yggdrasil'stwisted kingdom.


	2. If there is anything to save

Review Responses

InuKratosStan: Thanks, and yeah they are very close but they wont admit it. You know how some guys are like that too proud to admit that they care etc. The main dynamic of the Kratos Yuan relationship. And this looks like it's going to be a long one, I hope to go through the first Iselia Temple with this piece (mainly cuz I didn't in Shards and I'm getting e-mails asking for details) and a little after. We'll see how it goes

Serrated Darkness: you'd see even more if I could find my humor fanfic titled "Yuan's Guild to Stalking" but he will be a big influence on Kratos in the beginning and I have a nice juicy conversation for them planned in the fic, so you'll see plenty of Yuan to satiate your Yuan needs (that sounded wrong lol) until I can find "Stalking"

ArkNavy: Well I'm glad you like, it goes on and will hopefully be of higher quality then "Red Earth"

GameCubeGirl1: Yeah I surprised me too, actually I had planed to put up "Broken" I wrote "Silliness" at two a-clock in te morning because my cat's were keeping me up(I was so relieved when they settled down I gave them a debut in my fic). And no I don't get confused because I have every rough draft organized and re-organized every week or so. So my paperwork isn't chaotic it's just keeping it all straight upstairs (taps head) that gets tedious. Yuan isn't exactly a hero this time, it's going to be a joint effort between all those Kratos is close to to drag him back. And the thing about Kratos killing himself... What's highly ironic is that because of what he is a normal weapon wont do the job, I've already established in DES that an angel can only get hurt in outstanding circumstances and with how fast they heal so Kratos can't destroy himself despite that it is his one wish. I think that the only thing that can kill an angel is Yggdrasil, or certain types of weapons.. But I'm still working all the theories out on that one...

Bleh now I'm rambling, thanks for the reviews everyone and I'll be quiet now.

On with the story!

If there is anything to save...

Chapter 2

Mithos sighed, he was feeling strangely nostalgic today. It was weakness, a blood filth trait to be sure, but today for once he decided to indulge in that weakness. He was as he had died, a child of twelve with sun golden hair and a angelic looking face that his sister had forever loved to pinch. He smiled slightly at that memory of her hand caressing his face, ruffling his hair, and in his blessed mind that never forgot allowed those memories to lap at his conscience. It helped him forget his pain for a span, forget the throbbing aching paths that ran across his back and stomach, that caressed him with burning fingers. Once long ago he had thought the pain in his heart, the echo of death that had come to him when the cruxis crystal had been placed upon him had hurt. Now he knew it was little more then an annoyance, the wounds inflicted upon by his seraphim and that woman hurt. They hurt, and would continue to hurt for all eternity.

He shifted his white vest over the same colored tunic, trying to ease the pain on his un-bleeding wounds. It was a futile exercise, for the skin was whole underneath and it wasn't friction that was causing the pain. He narrowed his crystal blue eyes as he walked through the halls of his castle, focusing on the nostalgia before he lost his temper.

Nostalgia, the heart of the matter was boots. He had been walking around barefoot and it came to his attention that he had not worn boots for three months now, and he was getting bored of walking around without them. Anyways he should try to keep up an appearance of normalcy, and so he had hunted for a pair of shoes. As he shifted through his private quarters, dug through the piles of clothes that covered the floor he began to get worried. He had found his boots and several copies of his adult forms outfit yet nothing for his child incarnation. He had to find some boots, Martel wouldn't have liked him to act completely lifeless, she would have worried for him. She probably would have thought he'd catch a cold or some other mortal nonsense. He would explain it to her how her fears were unfounded, but until he could he mustn't worry her. Frustrated that he wasn't finding what he wanted Mithos knocked over one of the three pieces of furniture in his '_suite_' the chair designed for his child form fell over and with a loud "thud" lay on its back legs stiffly thrust into the air. It was there he found his first boot, pleased he picked up the brown boot, slid it onto his left foot, then realizing it was for the right he put it in it's proper place. After rooting through the piles of dusty clothes he decided that he really needed to make use of his closet sometime, he needed to organize, but he held it off, looking for the last boot. He found it after drawing his wings and flying across the room in a grid pattern on -of all places- his bookshelf. It had been used as a book mark of so he guessed by the fact that the length of leather that would fit over his ankle was jammed between some random treatise on angelic history written by some ignorant human scholar. Stuffed inside the boot, much to his disgust, was a sock that carried a very unpleasant reek common to all unwashed clothes. Tossing the book to the floor Mithos set the boot in his lap and with two fingers gingerly fished out the stinky fabric. A muttered word and he immersed the thing in angelic mana offensive scent and sock disappeared into nothingness. Sliding that boot on he got up and stared at the mess in his room.

Disgusting, you'd have thought he was some half-elf (or worse human) brat with no skills at keeping his room clean! He waved a hand and the clothes shivered like a mirage and into the closet on the far wall. The closet's door creaked as piles of clothes suddenly appeared and pressed against the boundaries of the rather small room. To open that door was to get buried under clothes, so therefore that door would stay closed until he bothered to take the time to fold and sort everything. Picking his way back to the door that would lead him out he paused at the body length mirror that was imbedded into the door, and frowned. The boots didn't match, they were an earthy brown and he was clad in white with threads of pure silver stitched into symbols of the church of Martel that proclaimed his status as the leader of Cruxis. A spell gathered in the ends of his fingers, he ran a hand over the leather, and it bleached to an acceptable shade of white at his touch. Quest for looking normal complete he began to wander around the halls of Welgaia's castle, of his castle.

Angels, perfect in from, in voice, and forms of respect lined the halls like marble statues. They did not bow to him, they had no life so therefore he did not require them to bow to him, they only looked straight ahead when he passed and lowered there eyes. Proper forms, four thousand years out of date, for one befitting one of royalty. Bowing had disturbed him, had made Martel angry, so he had done research about other forms of respect and had trained all of his lifeless beings in the proper form of manners. He smiled, pleased with their reverence, pleased by the statues of marble -lifeless and of mortal stone- that he walked by. He looked upon the world around him, the world he had crafted and dubbed it good.

_Look,_ He exulted in his mind. _See the nation I have crafted free of hate, of pain, look here and all of the in's that infest life are lost in the pure light that I have found, that I have wielded._

Yet, under his feet was a blood stain, a festering rotting pool of crimson lost in the mess of steel tunnels that were the support of his world. There a sinful creature, a tainted being, had come into the world. Breaking free of it's womb it came into the world in a climax of blood and pain, and drew the air of this pure world, _his_ pure world. There for days, maybe weeks, the filthy murderous spawn had breathed, had suckled off the breast of it's corrupt mother, leaching the woman of her fluids in a disgusting show of human need. Yet it was fitting, he admitted to himself as he paused to stroke the polished steel banister and look into the ethers of creation that slid around his world on unfelt winds just outside the window, very fitting that in their life the child that should have not been and the temptress drew on each other for sustience and slowly killed one another. It was fitting, proper, the ways of mortals, an event that should was expected... He had spared them that, had spared those two creatures the pains of killing each other in the embrace of blooded beings pale version of love.

Kratos should have thanked him! Not go hiding somewhere under a rock grieving for such corrupt and inferior beings! Martel, he had not grieved so for her, she deserved more then what Kratos had given her!

Anger twisted in him, he whirled, stared at the nearest statue. His eyes so keen, never closing in rest, rarely blinking, swept over the angelic maiden made of purest marble. He, amongst all the perfection he had crafted, found a flaw in the statue. Snapping his fingers he summoned a bolt of purest light, and not even ashes of smoke marked the place where the statue had been.

"Replace that." Mithos snapped in his childish voice to the nearest angels. And they nodded, and soundlessly moved to follow his orders.

Xxx xxx xxx

He lay on the ground body heaving. Nothing came to his lips, no food, no water, it had been a long time since he had taken in either so therefore there was nothing for him to bring up. Physically incapable of purging himself that didn't stop his body from trying. He choked on nothing, his sides ached from the strain of gagging on air. Disgust was a vile bitter taste in his mouth, he choked in it, tried to force it out of his body. Clutching his stomach long shriveled by ages of not eating regularly the seraphim shuddered, whipped at his mouth though nothing was there. He was suffering from a mortal's reaction of seeing a corpse. His mind's need to purge the content of those hell fire eyes and wooden expression that he had seen on the man he had once called brother was so strong that his body had let the flame of his rage die and forced a mockery of sickness upon him. Now his anger burned like his dry mouth, like his throbbing sides. With a shaking hand Yuan pulled a strand of aqua blue hair from his eyes, the sight of Kratos trying to kill himself rose in Yuan's mind, made him shake. Of all the seraphim he was the weakest, the least in control of his mind. He was forever tortured by the past, seeing it play over and over in his mind and could be pinned for hours by his memories. Somehow Kratos had learned to function with it, worked around the overpower stimuli to be able to blend in amongst humans, so he had become Mithos' guardian angel to the Chosen's over the ages. Mithos had learned to ignore it, to just not think of the past... But for Yuan he hovered somewhere in between. He could ignore the mundane, the normal events of the past, and function with half his mind recalling the text of a book while he was reading another and be able to compare and contrast the two. What he couldn't do was function with his mind when there were emotions involved.

So he had tried his damned best to kill his emotions, to let go. In the beginning he had done so well, allowed Mithos to lead and submitted to the angel child's will that he had been constantly pointed out to by Mithos. The words '_You should be more like Yuan_' had been Kratos' bane for the first millennia of there new existence.

Yuan remembered those times, not as he had before -with indifference- but now with a horrid understanding. He had seen in that room what Kratos had seen in him so long ago. He recalled how Kratos had come by every evening to talk to him, under the spirit of brotherly concern had been... fear. Kratos had feared for Yuan had tried to keep his brother seraphim from burning all the bridges of his mortality. And for good or for ill Kratos had succeeded. Yuan could sympathize with other beings, could see shards of himself in others. And it was when he had been ordered to kill a child, an innocent 'failed' Chosen that Yuan had rebelled. It was not the loud sweeping rebellion that Kratos had made, not the abandoning of his post, but rather a more subtle game. He had taken that child, had told her the truth, and hidden her from Yggdrasil after faking her death. She had been what had dragged him back, she had completed the breaking of his faith in Mithos, the breaking that Kratos had started by his endless protests and championing of the lives of the people in Sylvarant and Tethe'alla.

She had been his first renegade, the name was her idea, and between the two of them they had started the organization that he hoped would break the back of Mithos' power. She had died, and the memory of her long and painful death in Mithos' torture chambers made the nausea come back, it had been two millennia since he had last seen her alive, and almost as long as he had thought of her. Her cat green eyes had stared at him, at Kratos, had looked upon them as Mithos had brought the knife down. To keep from talking she had bit he own tongue out and with blood frothing her lips she and arched and writhed under Mithos blade. It had taken her two hours to die, and the angel of death and death's oldest friend had looked upon poor Rene with sympathy, understanding, and a hopeless anger.

The anger that that memory brought forth mixed with the rage that Kratos' torment had stirred, and his sickness abandoned him. There was now no more weakness in him, no paralyzation, only rage, and he welcomed it in full.

Xxx xxx xxx

A statue of onyx, a reptilian face with it's shattered skull leered down at him as he passed under the archway. It didn't matter, it wouldn't hurt him so he ignored it. Stepping amongst the heart of a blue-green circle the lord of Cruxis waited. Blue runes shivered, appeared and danced along the air around him, and then there came a flash of green light. Blinking Mithos stepped away from the runes, away from the circle, and into what could only be called a throne room. Part of a decaying castle of the elves it was the only room that he had kept as is, liking the crimson throne and the tan brick work. It was majestic, yet of simpler stuff then the more ornate halls and rooms of Vehelim. Still possessed of that infernal twing of nostalgia the leader of cruxis took the adult sized chair in his childish form. He swung his legs on one arm of the crimson throne, rested his head against the other, and let his body relax. Snapping his fingers he summoned a weapon more loyal to him then the Eternal Sword had been of late, kendama in hand Mithos began to tap out a counterpart of the ditty that his heels were drumming into the arm of the chair. His mind drifting back to simpler days.

"_Kratos, look I'm king of the world!" Mithos chirped, sitting on the throne for the first time in his rumpled and travel stained grey tunic and pants._

"_Mithos." Martel gently pulled him out of the chair. "That's very disrespectful, whoever owned the chair before you wouldn't appreciate you sitting there now."_

"_That's cuz he was a elf, all the elves hate us but they aren't here so if I want to sit here then I will!" Mithos shoved off Martel's arm, and plopped back into the chair. Then to spite her a little he swung his legs over one of the arms and rested his head on the other._

"_Yuan, your turn." Martel sighed._

"_No, it's Kratos' turn!"_

"_When did I turn into the disciplinarian?" Kratos growled, turning away from some moldy tapestry he was studying to glare at the blue haired half elf._

"_Because you've got the perfect personality and visage for it." Yuan sighed, rubbing his head like he had a headache._

"_Does the catch look less appealing because of the attachments?" Kratos said in a wicked voice._

"_Human, shut up and or I'll ram an Indignation up your..."_

"_Yuan!" Martel smacked the man she was yelling at lightly on the arm. "Don't you dare finish that, Mithos is learning enough profanity from Kratos as it is. And if you did cast the spell you'd hit everyone in the room!"_

"_You concern moves me oh Goddess." Kratos' lips curled into a mocking smile, Martel gave him a death glare that she learned from seeing the mercenary give it to everyone else._

"_I'm not a Goddess, it's just some silly poets description of me, and no one's -thank Luna- taking it seriously!"_

"_Oh someone might be." Kratos shot Yuan one of his funny adult looks that Mithos didn't quite get and Yuan went red._

"_Shut it merc."_

_Lips twitching the mercenary turned to his pupil. "Out." The mercenary ordered Mithos, then as the half elf moved to get out of the chair he was surprised when Kratos took his place._

"_Kratos!" Yuan and Martel chorused in angry voices._

"_Kratos you're so cool!" Mithos chirped, hopping -much to the human's mortification- into his lap. "You're the bravest guy ever!"_

"_Indeed..." Kratos was looking at an angry Martel. "We shall see if I live the week out for this one."_

_Noishe abandoned his favored perch of Kratos' shoulder to get out of range of Martel's death glare, and flapped over to a rock some goodly ways off._

"_If you aren't out of that chair in five seconds I'll cook you-know-what for a week." _

_Kratos stood, cowed in by that threat._

"_Not so brave now are we oh great and powerful mercenary." Yuan's lips curled into a mocking smile of his own._

"_You know what magi, you can shove an Indignation up your.."_

"_Language gentleman," Martel snapped, and both men went quiet. "We are traveling with Mithos, he's thirteen, so don't say words like... that!"_

"_As you will." Kratos bowed, albeit mockingly, the slight curl of his lips telling them all he had only been so stubborn for the sake of his twisted sense of humor and that they were going to be on the brunt of a little more. "So how much are you paying me again?"_

"_I thought we weren't doing that anymore!" Yuan protested, probably thinking back to Kratos' original fees that had been a massive drain on there funds._

"_My words were that I would not ask you to pay me for escorting and protecting you three, punishing the shrimp -I mean Mithos- costs extra."_

"_Stop making fun of me!" Mithos wailed, then getting an idea he scrambled up the chair and stood on the throne's gold gem encrusted back. "Ha now I'm taller then you all!" He struck a pose, ignoring how his sister giggled and Yuan came down with a suspicious coughing fit._

_The throne of course tipped and he fell down with a wail._

_None of them laughed harder then he did once the pain went away. Chuckling the Hero's degenerated from talking about the demon touched that infested Tethe'alla to making short jokes, which while Mithos was the butt end of most of them made some rather cutting counters about how tall people (his sister always excluded) had smaller brains because the air was thinner at higher altitudes. Walking through the ruins of the elvish city from long ago, walking on the length and width of the false moon that some strange and alien force was holding to the world, the companions, the heros of Sylvarant, fell into mock bickering, which farther degenerated into a mock three way sparring match between the males. And it was then, over dinner that they learned how dumb it was to ignore Martel as they had during their play, she healed them with no complaint, scolded Mithos for using fire mana and then served them dinner. Dinner consisted of spaghetti laced with tomatoes -which Kratos hated- onions and mushrooms -both which Yuan hated- and desert had a heavy coating a cocoanut which was in Mithos book the most nasty food ever. _

He blinked, those memories and all the others that played in his angelic mind slipped out of his grasp as a flash of light from the runes dragged him back to the here and now. Frowning Mithos glared at Yuan, and his glare lost all of it's venom when he took in the pale and trembling seraphim.

"Yuan!" He struggled out of his chair, cursed his laziness that had made him allow his limbs to relax like a mortal's would. "What's wrong?"

"I found him..." It was a hiss, filled with such anger the leader of cruxis cringed back in the chair, thoughts of going to Yuan turned to thoughts of running away. "Come my lord, it's time you saw your handiwork."

"What are you talking about?" Mithos frowned. "Why should I go anywhere? If you know where he is then bring him here."

"He's already here, he's been here for a month, maybe more."

"Well then bring him in this room." Mithos sighed, annoyed at having to basically draw a map for his third on command. "And I'll deal with his lapses, I imagine I'll just need to lecture him or something and that will be... What are you...?"

Yuan strode across the room, grabbed his wrist and threw him to the floor. Grunting more on reflex then pain the leader of cruxis cursed as his kendama went flying from his hands and skittered out of his reach. Well he didn't need the toy to defend himself anyway! He rolled on his back, words of power gathering in his mind...

Yuan only grabbed his wrist, and dragged him across the room to the teleport pad. Snarling an oath as he lost the words of his spell Mithos thrashed kicked, and on instinct bit the older half-elf. No response, and every time he tried to cast a spell he was roughly shook. So through his castle, down the floors sheathed in rich carpets and marble walls sheathed in onyx Mithos was dragged, shook, and in one case not so accidently shoved down a flight of stairs. Through the marble buildings of Welgaia, through the maze of buildings so pure the would bring tears to the eyes of gods, he was dragged, until they came to a familiar house at the very outskirts of the city of angels.

"Put me down!" Mithos roared in his adult voice, ready to change and firmly put his underling in his place.

"As you wish my lord." He was dropped, and he glared bloody daggers at Yuan. The seraphim did not pale, his nostrils were pinched in rage, his eyes mere slits. "He is incapable of seeing you, you must go to him. If you had asked that instead of fighting I might have let you walk." The pure hate in Yuan's eyes deepened if at all possible. It spread beyond his normally expressionless eyes and soaked his face with a crimson hue. "No... I don't think I would have done that. Don't look for me Yggdrasil, to cross my path until I am in better control over myself is to lead to the death of one of us."

Drawing his wings the seraphim flew off, perhaps to go hide in his pathetic excuse of a ranch in Triet. It didn't matter, Mithos would ignore what Yuan had said, hunt the bastard down later and punish him so that the outrage he had been put through would not occur again. Gritting his teeth, he decided to see that his seal didn't die and then deal with Yuan. Cursing under his breath he went to the door, stepped through the broken entrance and thought nothing of how -upon entering- he heard the sound of bells.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Pale, trembling in from raw emotion, Mithos stood before a more composed Yuan. Both men had forgotten the incident, the humiliation underling had inflicted on superior. Or that's what Yggdrasil assumed. Yuan had not forgotten, and rather pettily wished he had taken the opportunity to shove the monster down more stairs. He mentally pursued the wish that he had Kratos' Flamberge on hand, since the blade had wounded Mithos before and he had had caught the beast off guard with his roughness. How easily it might have been to slip the enchanted blade into Yggdrasil the other day, however that day was long gone, he would have to wait for another. But being what he was he had eternity and could afford the wait, if only the world too would be just a bit more patient and not press upon him to act. Patience was tried to the limit when you are fighting an immortal foe whilst being immortal yourself. For now he banished thoughts and plans, and focused on what really mattered, the welfare of his oldest and sole companion from days long ago.

"Why is he like this?" Mithos growled, he was in his childish form, too shaken by what he had seen to assume the illusion of his adult form. It had been days, and Yuan felt just a tiny sliver of pleasure over the fact that the powerful Mithos Yggdrasil could be shaken, distracted... He would remember that, store it away in his plans for later.

"How were you when Martel died? Anna was to him what Martel was to you. He loved her, loves her now, which is why he strives to find her again. Faced with an eternity stretched before him without her he tries to make the pain stop along with his heartbeat. Just be grateful that he's lost his sword somewhere in Sylvarant because we wouldn't have come into him as he was, he would have been dead, then you would have lost your precious _seal_."

"Yes, but he'll find a way to kill himself if we leave him how he is, he would have wanted us to keep him alive if he was in sane mind. After all he agreed to this, said it was for the best, to save the worlds, that's why you've both stayed with me, to save the world." Mithos frowned, stared at nothing, went so utterly still that he looked as alive as one of the angel guards outside. "You weren't like this when Martel died, why is he like this?"

_I was and you never saw because you might as well have been dead to the world. It was all because of Kratos I'm still alive now. He took away every knife and sword I could get my hands on, and stood many sleepless nights over my slumber to protect me from myself. He dragged me off to cry, to curse the world, to curse all of humanity and it's sins. And when I was as healed as I ever could be he left me to take care of you so he could try to destroy himself in drink. You never saw him half dead, eyes filled with the horrors of the poison that had seeped into his blood, trying to kill himself for a woman he dubbed as his sister. Then it was my turn, my time to bring him back, and that's where I screwed up, you see I brought him to you and you put a poison more potent into his mind then any he was drowning himself in. He took your lies as truth and you turned him into a seraphim._

Yuan did not say those words, did not say that truth, he merely stared at the air lost in that long ago time and it's still agonizing grief.

"What's wrong with him!"

"He lost his lover, his son, and his oldest friend." Was all Yuan said, fighting with himself to not scream the truth, to not indulge in the impulse of reaching down and wringing that neck.

"He has us!" Yggdrasil snapped. "It's not like he's lost everyone he knows."

_No, just everyone he loves._

Yuan said nothing, offered nothing, stared blankly into space and seethed as the old and new rage came back.

"You have something on your mind Yuan, say it!"

"Tell me, when you went into the room, how hard did he close his hands around your throat, obviously it was enough to muddle your thinking." Yuan spat, hands clenching into fists. "You've done a hell of enough to him! If he wants death let it take him, he's suffered enough, let him go Yggdrasil."

"No, Martel-"

"Don't you dare say this is in Martel's name! Don't you ever slander her name by tying your corruption of her wishes to her, ever!" Yuan snarled, it was suicide to strike Mithos so he settled on slamming his fist into a nearby pillar, and with numb satisfaction watched as the delicate pattern that ran it's surface cracked under his blow.

"You disapprove of what I did..." There was pain, all calculated to strike at Yuan's heart, to bring back old memories of comradery, and if he fell for that it would only take one moment before the damned snake got it's fangs in and poisoned his thoughts.

"Like hell I do, sixty years at most Yggdrasil and they all would have died of natural causes! What is that to us, we who have lived for four thousand years of life! Nothing, a blink of an eye, I've taken vacations that are longer and so has he!"

"Did you know, brother, what he had planed? What that woman said to me, what he said to me, what they both did? Did you know he wanted the eternal sword for himself? That through his efforts he's cut my contact with the blade down to nothing!" Mithos roared, his temper falling to bloody shreds. "He's done more damage then those damned Renegades, that woman made him do it! She forced him from me, from m— our ideals!"

Yuan forgot to breath, stared at Mithos in total shock, and thinking he had a compassionate audience the lord of Cruxis decided to vent.

"I told him that he had broken from our ideals, I offered to make her what he was and he denied me. I offered to make his son into one of us and again he has the gall to deny me, to turn me down!" Mithos made a tossing gesture and one of the walls was pelted by a lightning bolt. "He called me monster screamed for Origin to allow him to strike me down after I gave his wife immortality... And Origin agreed." Mithos rubbed his side, something he had been doing a great deal lately. "He hurt me Yuan, I've never hurt like that before, and it never stops hurting."

Now there were tears, genuine tears in Mithos' eyes.

"I heard that she was turned into a monster." Was all Yuan said, and Mithos looked at him in disappointment, as if wanting his old friend to hold him and offer to take the pain away. Yuan would rather have comforted a crying crocodile, he'd have been safer.

"She had died, Kvar killed her against my orders and I brought her back."

Yuan turned to Mithos a frown on his face.

"You aren't a healer, Martel was the only healer we ever knew and I know she tried to teach you her craft and you never learned. Are you telling me that you somehow acquired a unicorn horn and cast the spell upon Anna?"

"No," Mithos snorted. "Why should I take so much effort over Kratos' pet? I brought her back, and made her immortal, I never said anything about restoring her life."

"You animated her corpse?" Yuan's face felt hollow, empty, unable to feel cold any longer he could not feel how the lack of blood chilled his cheeks but he could tell by Mithos' scornful expression that he was as pale as could be.

"I used her exsphere to gather a bit of her soul, infused that in the carrion and then gave her basic motor function back by using the demon seed as a chanal for my power.

"Yggdrasil..." Yuan felt a strong urge an urge that he was going to lose to in a heartbeat, but if he said nothing he might be suspect. "If you had done that to Martel, or to anyone I knew I'd do a Hell of a lot more then go for your throat. Don't you remember what the demon seeds harbored? Kratos' commander, half of the damn Tethe'alla government and those cults we had to fight against in Sylvarant were all dedicated to those things! You swore to me you destroyed them all!"

"Exspheres leave them behind as a residue in a human host body when they are extracted." Mithos said in a tone more suiting if he were explaining to someone that the sun would always rise on the same side of the horizon. "I destroyed all the old ones, but there are no few new ones that are being made and destroyed in the ranches every day."

_And how many are slipping through the cracks? Being forgotten or experimented on because they radiate so much power?_

"I have business else where." Yuan whispered. "I'm going to keep an eye on Kratos, my advice and orders are this. Stay the hell away from him and don't even bother to contact me I'll be out of touch. Hopefully we'll be back in time for the Regeneration, if not then make do with someone else."

"You're saying as a friend I can't help him." Mithos growled.

"I'm saying that since you are the person who killed everything Kratos cherished and loves that if you go to him as he is now he'll keep trying to kill you." Yuan could not keep his malice under control, that's what forced the words out that could be so damning to him later. "And if he does... I would not stop him."

"So you'd abandon me as well?" Pain, tears, Mithos made a mockery of them even as he had made his closest friends' into a mockery of themselves.

Yuan didn't bother to reply, he left Mithos to whatever sick plans the bastard would make, Yuan's only concern now was how to keep Kratos away from Yggdrasil. How to protect Kratos from Yggdrasil, if there was anything left to protect that is.


	3. Fallen Angel

Reviewer responses:

Memumbo: Cool my first dose of internet speak:) Wootage _is_ good right? _Chuckles_ Oh well your wish is granted, an update and hopefully another one right after. And I hope you like where it does go in the end.

Serrated Darkness: It is a dark fic, hence the ranking, it's probably not going to have another suicide attempt but the first attempt and the overall darkness is why I put the ranking as high as I did. Kratos adressed the question a little in this chap hold on and I'll give you a fuller explaination as the tale unfolds.

Ark Navy: You do know that Yggy is an abreviation for Yggdrasil right? It sounds like you mean Yggy is Yuan... I dunno guess I'm confused. Glad you like Yuan and that you picked out my fav line from the fic so far and I hope you enjoy it as more turns out!

GamecubeGirl1: Yeah dark/serious but not too angsty I hope. Oh well every genre has it's place. I want to see Yuan wring Mithos' neck, matter fact want Kratos to run the runt through but that would change the TOS story line. Yuan has a big part in the begining and end, but it's not just Yuan, expect to see Syt andAltessa, as well perhaps even someone you might not expect. Kratos is going to have to save himself, no one can save you for you, it's always in the self... And hopefully that's what this fic will say all on it's own in the end.

Author's note: Trying to finish this ASAP since I only have a few days till my schedule becomes even more tightened. Random note, wrote this listening toe evenesence's "Hello", seems to fit the song and I actually was thinking of lyrics as I wrote certian sections. Wierd huh, well it's dark but this fic's only going to end on a faintly hopeful note. I'll try to put up next chapter later this week.

Kasan Soulblade

Chapter 3

The fallen angel

Metal sighed from between his fingers, it was the only sound, the only response to his presence he had gotten in an hours time. Slow at first then picking up more speed the seraphim rolled the chain between two fingers. At last Kratos paused in his neurotic caressing of the metal to tenderly kiss the locket.

"There is a way out, you know that… if it's too much to bare there is a way out."

"For me, there is not." Kratos sighed, his hands went though the motions, allowed the oval talisman slide down the chain, then slowly gathered the chain with his fingers and when he held it again he allowed it again to slide back down. "That path is closed for me."

Yuan swallowed, torn between relief, frustration, pity, and anger. He smiled darkly, how they were all trapped in such base things as there emotions for such enlightened beings. How damn ironic.

"He doesn't know, of your friend… the fisherman… I made sure of it."

No response came from Kratos, save the whisper of chain caressing angelic flesh, but then Yuan wasn't expecting anything resembling coherence from his oldest friend. He knew what it felt to lose a wife, and it was a miracle that Kratos was even talking to him, acknowledging the world in any way.

"You shouldn't stay here, all you're doing is thinking of her. You need to keep yourself busy or you are going to trap yourself in your mind." Yuan said, trying to sound authoritive, and failing utterly. "Please Kratos; she wouldn't want this from you."

Yuan reached out to take his old friends shoulder, and was not surprised when Kratos allowed him to do so but did not respond.

"Come with me, I have some tasks to run in Tethe'alla, and I would be good to travel with you at my side. There might be something we can do, something against him, but if there is I don't want to do it alone. I need your help old friend, and now what do we have to lose but our sorry excuses that serve as lives?"

"I have to live… there is still something I must do, and I must do it alone." Kratos' voice was horse, not from lack of drink as a mortal's would be, but from a prolonged fit of screaming, of cursing the gods and whomever had denied him death. Yuan had missed that event, had missed the wild animal rages that had bleed into half hearted attempts of Kratos tying to kill himself. Yuan had stumbled onto the latter event, had heard the angels talk in dull voices of the former.

"Then travel with me, for the sake of keeping me company, we can hold off the dangerous part for some time."

Kratos paused, the locket resting in his palm, still closed, closed and obscured by those long fingers. Yuan knew why, he had done much the same of his picture of Martel, hiding them away until the pain had died down enough so he could bare to look at her again, if only that look was granted to him by canvas and paints. The auburn haired seraphim shook his head and Yuan bit his lip, another purely mortal response, as he metaphorically bit down on frustrated protests and pleas.

"If you change your mind I'll be in Tethe'alla, you know how to find me there, where to leave messages. The second I get notice that you're looking for me I'll put down what I'm doing and be there as soon as I can." Yuan tightened his grip. "I have something… I don't know if you want it or not and I apologize if I offend you… God knows I can't figure out that strange religion of yours I get lost between the tales of elementals, seals, and all that, but I thought… It helped me, if only a little."

Yuan pulled out three lengths of beeswax that he had tied to his belt. They crinkled in there tissue paper sheathes, and the blue haired seraphim walked up to the cleaned altar and lay them down. He had spent the day going through Kratos' home, through every room that had been left open and had broken the doors that had been locked. When the auburn haired seraphim actually went to look for anything with an edge he'd probably be infuriated that Yuan had taken every sword, every knife –even the butter spreading knives- and had them locked up safely in his Triet ranch. Since he couldn't be here Yuan was going to do his best to protect his old friend, even if Kratos didn't particularly appreciate that protection. He'd have stayed, he wanted to… but the notes coming from the Renegades were getting more shrill and desperate. His second in command was sliding into senility it seemed and that half elvish blood was no longer protecting him. They were trying, God knew they were still harassing the Desian's and stealing what technology they could, but without steady leadership the raids were racking up more and more lives. Too many lives, far too many, he had to go back before they got themselves into a bigger mess then they could handle.

"It's a custom, where I was born… that when someone dies, someone we love, we burn a candle in there memory. We use the flame only to light that candle's replacement when it is time to switch them out. It's to remember the life and light that they gave to us, to cherish it." Swallowing Yuan rolled one of the candles in his hands. "Kratos, you have to leave Derris Kharlan, I've threatened Mithos so that he'll leave you alone, but I won't be here to keep him away from you. He will come for you, so just… be careful…"

Placing the length of wax on the table Yuan released Kratos, turned and left the dark room whose shadows writhed at the grief that the fallen seraphim was radiating.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

_Her scent tormented him, his hands trembled as he caressed her. Never before had they trembled, never had he been in someone's thrall. She was beautiful, so very beautiful, magnificent in the way only a human could be composed of perfections and imperfections. She smiled at his touch, as his fingers slid across her belly and halted. There, where there was only smoothness a few months ago was a slight bulge, Kratos smiled as the pure force of that life under his hands, under his wife's heart, made his hands tingle. She smiled at him, kissed his cheek and he smiled not caring that he looked like every other young fool who knows he's a father and it's only a matter of time._

_"I never thought, for a moment, that I could be a father."_

_"That implies that you think." Anna whispered, drawing the covers over them both. He drew his arms around her and she sighed contentedly. She was so tired, drained, and drew on what strength he could give her. "Hmmm this is nice."_

_"Warm, comfortable?" He asked, his voice so strained with worry she cracked an eye open at him and chuckled._

_"Everything is fine beloved." She whispered, kissing his shoulder, since it was so conveniently close, and decided to curl as close to him as she could. "Nothing could be better."_

_No truer words had been spoken. He smiled, as she muttered a half slurred question that sounded like 'are you comfortable?' but she never quite finished it, and drifted to sleep in his arms._

Xxx xxx xxx

_"Daddy! Daddy!" Lloyd ran arms filled with red leaves. "Look, look the leaves are all changin' colors, just like in your story!" _

_"That's nice..."_

_Kratos cracked an eye open, stared at the pre-dawn world, while he had not been asleep and the disruption wasn't a problem for him. It could become a problem for them both in five seconds though. Anna stirred, muttered how it was his fault, then firmly shoved him out of the bed. Unable to save himself from the unorthodox attack he tumbled out of the bed with a loud thud. Anna only pulled a pillow over her head, snatched the covers, and looking much vindicated took her hoard of blanket, pillows -she snatched his since he was on the floor and obviously not needing it hence the plural-, and proceeded to some how curl up into a ball and yet simultaneously take up most of the bed._

_"Mom-" _

_Kratos gave his son a sharp look and Lloyd wisely fell silent._

_"Let's not court death so early on in the morning."_

_"Whatcha mean?"_

_Glad that he was at least wearing undergarments the seraphim quietly picked himself off the floor. Putting a finger to his lips he ordered Lloyd to remain silent, then crept to the dresser. Pulling open the drawer he pulled out the first pair of clothes his hands fell upon, grimacing at the dark red garments, wondering how Anna had manipulated him into buying something so tasteless, Kratos quietly got dressed. Lloyd not so quietly followed him, the boy's every step was punctured by a giggle or the crinkle of leaves being turned to powder, and it was by some miracle that Anna did not retaliate at their loudness with a thrown pillow. He was dressed, Anna drifting off into slumber, he lead Lloyd outside the inn's room and in his best "grouchy adult" voice -Anna's name not his- demanded how Lloyd had gotten outside. Noishe received an earful from his very irked seraphim friend along with a utterly tasteless breakfast and a promise of half a plate for dinner for his stupidity. Lloyd of course would persuade him to lighten the punishment, or if nothing else give the protozoan part of his dinner, but that wasn't the point right now._

_"Daddy you think Efreet made Celsius happy this year?"_

_Recalling his story to Lloyd how Efreet would set flames in the hearts of plants, flames so small that the leaves would reflect the fires and during there last days be as a flame in color and in life cycle then turn to dust Kratos smiled._

_"If winter is long then the answer is no, if winter is short then the answer is yes."_

_"Why does Efreet make all the plants go red?"_

_"Because Celsius loves color, her world is snow and ice and you know that those things only come in so many shades. Efreet gives her as many colors as he can so that when she comes and brings winter with her she can see, it only for a short time, all the colors her snow and ice can never show her."_

_Lloyd frowned, stared at the bundle of leaves in his hands then looked questioningly at his father._

_"Go ahead." Kratos smiled, ruffled his boy's hair. "Do you want me to come along?"_

_Lloyd shook his head and tromped off to the door leading out, and while Kratos did not follow per-se he did happen to drift by the door to supervise Lloyd's little foray out onto the massive root that served as a road for those who lived in this part of the tree. When a lively wind picked up, Lloyd tossed the leaves into it and giggled as they made a snow of red._

_"Take those to Cellsus Sylphies!"_

_And perhaps Sylph was taking the leaves to Celsius after all, for the wind that had been going westerly shifted and turned to the north. _

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

He groaned, rolled over on the bed, it was empty, hollow, as was his heart. He closed his eyes so he could better plunge into the world of dreams, where for only a few hours time he could have them by his side once again. Something touched him, he did not want to be touched. To be touched was to be awakened. Away from the hands, those small hands that were far too rough to be his son's. His son who was dead and the murderer was shaking him awake.

"Kratos you've been sleeping for days!" The child's voice, that God's damned false child's voice. "Please I'm scared, you're scaring me, come back please!"

Kratos cracked open an eye, his eyes were more black then brown, yet were somehow a color in between both shades. He looked out from a curtain of auburn hair, glared at the child who was not a child.

Clad in white shirt and pants, sporting a vest with silver embroidery he looked every inch a youth who was to serve in some Tethe'alla chapel. That head filled with golden hair framed that heart shaped, fell into those dark green soulless orbs; he looked the stereotypical image of an angel.

Considering how he had inserted the religious propaganda, how he had sculpted the very faith of millions for his needs perhaps that was not so surprising.

"You're awake, good!" Small arms infolded him in a hug, his mind half clouded with self induced sleep wondered what was wrong. Then suddenly he recalled, and shook off those arms and firmly shoved that false youth off of him.

"Where is Yuan?"

"What?"Mithos cocked his head to the side then smiled. "Oh you must have forgot, how many times have I told you sleeping wasn't healthy? It makes you forget things, and you're not supposed to forget anything."

"Answer the question." Kratos rasped, his eyes seemed to burn and Mithos took a step back and promptly forgot that he was not the apprentice in the presence of his very ticked off mentor.

"He went to Tethe'alla." Mithos stared at the bed that Kratos kept in his personal chambers, his lips curling with just a hint of scorn. "He wouldn't tell me why but I decided to come by and cheer you up!"

Really, and would it surprise you to know the only thing that could possible bring me cheer is to lay you out on one of Kvar's tables in a black room and torture you for several decades? How would you feel _old friend_ if I said that?

"You're up, and I bet after that sleep things look better."Mithos chirped, and though he was sounding friendly enough there was just a hint of steel in the voice, as if to say Mithos better never see his second in command acting as a mortal and seek sleep.

Then perhaps thinking he was welcome the small angel sat on the edge of the bed.

The bed where he saw was where _she_ had lain in sickness. The bed where healed and with child growing ever restless in her womb _she_ had lain to seek energy behind closed eyelids. In his embrace, for weeks, _she_ had slept here. Where now, profaning it was this bastard, this murderous soulless son of a bitch, lips curling into a snarl the seraphim merely narrowed his eyes. Shivering Mithos, lord of Cuxis, understood his mistake and slid off the bed.

"Get out." Kratos closed his eyes, deciding that he could spend more time better served in remembrance with the bastard gone. "Leave me alone, and if you ever come into my house without my permission I'll kill you."

"No."Mithos stomped a foot, glared up at his old friend who was trying to fall back asleep. Thinking fast Yggdrasil forced his expression to be harder then steel and his next words were laced with ice. "If you fall asleep again I will go to Kvar's ranch and play the sounds of your pet in his torture chambers."

The eyes once empty and filled with dull resignation flared with a hint of fire, rage so intense it made the previous glare as nothing battered against Mithos Yggdrasil, and despite himself he drew his wings and took a step back. Bathed in the soft violet wings' light the shadows on Kratos' face seemed to multiple, seemed to make him little more then a shadow.

"What I do on my own time is my business Yggdrasil," Kratos' voice was soft, liquid malice, and as he took a step forward the lord of heaven took a step back. Power crackled in the seraphim's hands, a hellish white light that promised pain to the one it connected to. "What I do in my home is my business, whom I love and where I place myloyalties are my business, and if you had not stuck your damn twisted morals upon my life I would be happy!" Kratos roared. "So if you value your pathetic excuse of a life you damned well best absent yourself from my home, from what remains of my business, now!"

Mithos froze, stared at the man who had taught him, had held him when the grief became too much, and was unwilling to let that go.

"Teacher I did this for you, for her, to save the world we can't be distracted!"

"To save it?" Kratos laughed, a horrid sound, his mind so lost in its pain the power flickered and went out. He was close to the edge, hovering over that dismal place he had sunk into after returning to Derris Kharlan. "Even though you plan to destroy it after you revive your sister?"

"I…" Mithos trembled under those empty eyes. It was not the same empty perfection of the soul less he made via cruxis crystal, it was the emptiness of madness, of a broken man who had nothing to lose. "No it's not like that! Listen to me, please!" Mithos cried out, Kratos said nothing firmly shoved his way past the boy and stormed down the hall. "Where are you going!"

"I have business to attend to, and I will attend to it alone."

"No!" Mithos grabbed the ends of his mentor's cloak in an effort to stop him. He didn't see the blow, it was so fast and he was on his rear in the middle of the hall, his face throbbing. And the eyes that looked down at him were not empty anymore. They were filled with a horrid light of sadism. Kratos had enjoyed hitting him, had liked it, and the clenched fist told Mithos that if he dared to touch Kratos again he'd get worse. "Let me go with you! You shouldn't be alone! I can help you Kratos, I really can, let me explain, I'll make it all make sense I promise!"

"You want to help me?" Kratos' voice was a harsh rasp, as if he had not taken liquid in for months. "Then go to Hell Yggdrasil, just go to Hell."

Mithos bowed his head, trembled under the fury. Forgetting that he was a self proclaimed Master of Heaven and God. He was reduced to nothing more then the little boy who had shouldered a burden too great, all by the rage of his oldest friend. He looked up at Kratos with eyes filed with tears, tears that could never, would never, fall from his eyes. Kratos looked down upon him, no sympathy. Faintly Mithos heard Kratos walk away, heard the steps fade away, a door slam, then nothing. Silence, the silence of Welgaia so pure and holy fell upon the house.

"Kratos… I didn't do anything wrong, I was trying to save you!" Mithos cried, his voice lost in the silence, the eternity so great and smooth no echoes could catch in the jags and come back to him. He closed his eyes, held himself and rocked back and forth. "Kratos… please don't leave me alone, you know I'm scared of the dark… It's so dark here… please come back… please…"

For a long moment Mithos lay on the cold stone, a cold that he could not feel any longer, and shivered. An hour, a day, an eternity, what was time to the timeless? When that span ended Yggdrasil picked himself from the floor, ran a hand through his hair and let the cold soothing nothingness locked away in his crystal. Take away the pain of betrayed love, of being abandoned, he ordered the stone. And as those utter mortal and blood trait things faded into nothingness with only a slight spasm of pain in the vicinity of his chest, he smiled. When the last of the pain faded Yggdrasil found his feet and looked around the house. He'd never been here without Kratos hovering over him, and people who did that had something to hide. Perhaps Yggdrasil could find something, something to make Kratos more, loyal, efficient.

Yes he would give Kratos his time to sulk in those pathetic human emotions and when he came back, as he must, Yggdrasil would re-educate his seraphim. After all this near catastrophe had some fault with his actions, he had let Kratos go too long without a proper talking to. He decided to go to the chapel first; such sacrilege in the very heart of Derris Kharlan should be tended to. After all what would Martel think of it? He must please Martel, must make this place pure for her, for his sister. Picking his way down the fall, going through the mess of halls he found a small closet like room, the same room he had discovered Kratos trying to throw aside Yggdrasil's gift to him because a set of animals had died. Rolling his eyes Yggdrasil found the small room utterly barbaric, two rows of small wooden benches, a raised slab of common granite its top sheathed in a dark red streaked wood. On the altar lay three candles –unlit- and something that glinted gold. Blinking the effects that the glare of light –from where he did not know since there was no light in the room- off of the item away he walked up to the talisman, wondered what pathetic purpose it served, and picked it up, intending to crush the stupid thing. His fingers closed over it, and with a soft whisper of sound and motion a thin line appeared and the locket split nearly in half and swung on small hinges. He stared at the picture inside, not quite believing his eyes. As belief and realization came he laughed, laughed with the shrill giggled of a child and the deep rumbled of his adult voice both laughter was simutanious. Picking up the item he pocketed it, after closing it so it wouldn't take up more space then necessary.

Oh yes Kratos would come to him now, Yggdrasil would not demean himself by coming to this savage's hovel again. Smirking he muttered the words of a spell, set a thin line of fire to drift about the room and catch bench and alter alike in red glowing hands. Satisfied that the blaze caught onto the appropriate targets he cast another spell over the fires, directed it to only destroy the room it was housed in. Smug in his victory Yggdrasil did not pause to watch it burn and therefore missed how light seemed to gather amongst the twelve carved runes along the walls, and how after a flash of light, the fires stilled and died, leaving behind not even a fine coat of ash or blackened wood. For all that had burned under Yggdrasil's command had been air, the air over the altar, the floors, and the benches was all that had burned.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Shaking off the effects of the teleportation Kratos stretched, his wings fanned out behind him to mime the human's motions. It was instinct, disoriented by the landing, he felt cramped, thinking it was only his wings pressing against him the seraphim had drawn them. Seeped in blood they had dripped flapped, and while the feeling lessened he realized it was not a physical phenomenon. Depressed, suicidal, no matter his mood part of him it seemed always registered the stifling silence, the torment that was the city of angels. Birds chirped at the base of the Tower, mountain's like misshapen giant's teeth loomed over him, and it was safe enough to have his wings out. There were no rhieards flying a slow patrol over this world, no crazy would be frontiers-men gliding to inaccessible places, camping for all of a week and then going back to be pampered in Meltokio. True explorers, wanderers, and adventurers lived several miles away, the occasional brave soul would make a pilgrimage here, but the last had been a half century ago and Yggdrasil had killed that poor priest before either of the seraphim could protest. He was safe from the prying eyes of the world to reveal the silver blue twisted excuse for a wing that sprouted from his back, and as much as he hated to look upon them they would serve him as a tool. He kicked off of the ground, mind empty of thought, of concern, as he glided in the air around the tower. There was no pattern to his motions; no purpose to his flight, save that he slowly went north, of the forests that choked the northern part of this world.


	4. Recalling an oath

Review responses:

Inguz: Thanks for the praise, and I've been reading your fic and find it to be filled with very well developed character... I'm just so lazy about updating my FF account since I have an archive of all my fav writers stories in a file on my home comp. When I have time I'll put something in depth on your review section.

GameGubeGirl1: Umm well this chap will dis-illusion you on where he goes I think... Think of his destination and actions as a surprise I guess.

ArkNavy: Know and hate Yggdrasil? Well in my case it's love to hate.

Memumbo: Well you have the ability to kick Mithos' tail if you have a save point right before the final battle.

As always enjoy the new chapter

Chapter 4

Recalling an oath

A wave of motion propelled it forward, it dragged it's huge leaf shrouded bulk on a multitude of stubby vine shaped limbs. He couldn't see the beast's true head, but recognized the mess of gelatinous substance wiggling comicly between the lumps that looked like shoulder blades as being the false head. After eating a meal the monster would withdraw it's true head, and the blob on top was in truth part of the beasts bulging throat. It's charged him, head with drawn, little legs throwing it forward. It was too large to sidestep, too large to turn aside, yet it was no true challenge. He threw his borrowed shield to the leaf strewn earth, and met the charge with one of his own. He leapt, landed on those writhing vines, kicked off of them and with his free hand grabbed a fist fold of the foliage that armored the damn thing. He'd have cast a fire spell, incinerate the beast, but it had just eaten, or rather was trying to, so that the being trapped inside that gullet would go up in flames along with the beast, he dared not let that happen. Growling he ripped out leaf and gripped ridges in the exoskeleton, slowly pulling himself up, ignoring the sap hued blood that was pouring over him. At last he was by the mound, he found his feet and lifted his blade. Grimly he turned it over in his hands, till the point was parallel to the earth, and he set it's tip till it lined up with the center of the blob head, he lifted the blade as high as he could and with all the power of a seraphim behind the blow thrust down.

X

"Are you goin' to explain that bark and sap all over you?" Issia growled, waving a spoon in front of his nose. Kratos stared at her his lips nether curling nor opening. Disturbed by the silent intent stare of the man before her Issa turned onto her husband. Given much of the same she grumbled, growled, and bandaged them both up rather roughly. She left, muttering something about chicken soup for them both till the wounds healed. A truly terrorfying threat from Syt's stance, since Kratos couldn't eat Issia would just make the man take in a mouthful, and Syt would be eating two bowls of his beloved wife's not so excellent cooking. She stomped off to the kitchen grumbling about the stupidity of men, and Syt for once agreed with her. Going on Kratos on a monster hunt had been the stupidest thing he'd ever done, but he'd do it again, and again, so that the man wasn't left alone for too long.

"Never thought I'd be sain' this... But I be guessin' that wolves are the minnows of the monster sea."

"Indeed..." Kratos was giving him a pained look, blaming himself for his old friend nearly getting eaten perhaps, though it might have been phantom pains from getting throw through that maple tree when the monster's head re-emerged. The source of half the sap, lucky for them both Issia had yet to figure that the orange sap was not sap at all, but the tree-bug monster's blood.

"My bet is yon vine legs has a damn nasty case of food poisonin' now!" Syt smiled. "Damn thing ate my old tarrin' tunic."

The old Kratos would have laughed, cracked a smile, this one only looked even more guilty. It was horrible, seeing someone dead when they weren't, seeing empty eye better suited to a dead person look back at you. The most horrible thing right next to that Mithos bastard, at least that's how it was in Syt's book. Kratos had, much to the Syt's family shock, come to them a month ago, he had booked rooms like a normal client and it was after hours when Syt had been able to free himself form his duties and check in on the man. Kratos had been lying down, wings drawn, fanned out behind him, staring at the ceiling ,it was then Syt had first really seen those dead eyes. He'd not let his horror show, never would he do that to one of his closest friends, but after when he'd gone to Issa he'd really spoken his mind. They'd killed him, that Yggdrasil Mithos bastard might as well had driven his blade into Kratos' heart, done the seraphim a favor. It was a horrible man who thought those things of his oldest friend, but it was in Syt's mind the honest truth. And if nothing else, horrible or not, Syt was an honest man. The fisherman now innkeeper groaned and protested when he saw Kratos rip off his bandages, Issa was going to kill him, Syt knew that was certain when the seraphim set a glowing hand over his wounds and made them knit themselves close.

Or rather he did so with the large slash across his chest, he left the small number of cuts and bruises on his arms untended.

"Aren't you going to patch the rest of ya up?" Syt asked meekly, he tried not to cringe when those black pits for eyes regarded him.

"No." Kratos whispered, utterly still and dead, he was the perfect picture of the age of lifeless beings.

"You should, Issa's gunna just patch you up again when she sees you all bloody armed you know."

"She may do what she pleases." Came the response from those dead eyes, now empty of guilt and pain they were truly dead. "I will be in my room." Kratos bowed stiffly then turned on his heel and began to go out Syt's private room to his own.

"Ru- er Kratos," The human coughed over his mistake, he'd not meant to call the man by his false name. "Ya best be rememberin' somthin' my friend, and best be rememberin' it good. This here ain't yon feather head's place, we don't be bowin' and all that crap under my roof, understand? You see any yon feather heads, yourself included, doin' any such formal Tethe'alla crap under my roof and you give them a sharp kick for me."

Kratos turned, looked at him, and for just a second the man Syt admired, who Anna had loved, seemed to peak out and smile at him. Then the dead look was back, the expressionless mask to hide more tears then any man could weep was back. The seraphim left an aching Syt by himself, and with the pain keeping him up until Issa came back with that soup and a gel Syt had plenty of time to think, so think he did.

Xxxx xxx xxx

A laugh, high pitched and sweet to the ears, genuine and true to his experienced ears rang out through the air. He sat, a cat had been dropped off in his lap to keep him company by the Syt's second eldest child, and they ran about in the square playing with all the other children. Under the gaze of the guardian creature's incased in stone they played, the guardian's blessings falling from there marble lips in form of a never ending stream of water. The water and laughter made a gentle song for him to silently absorb, the cat's purrs under his gloved hands served as a sometimes claw fulled painful counterpart. A handful of parents watched there children for they were uncomfortable with the black clad somber man and his unearthly stillness and never ending scrutiny of their children. He would never had hurt any of those children, had in fact saved one from drowning during one of his previous watches. None of the children came up to him, perhaps warned off by there parents, well except the Syt's daughter. Seeing him looking lonely she'd dropped Miss Purrs into his lap and was now involved in a game of hide and go seek. His mind numb in it's pain he watched the game play on, bleed into another, and another, until parents swept in and picked up there tired children. Cheerful voices rang out telling stories, one harried father with three daughters was being very firmly dragged off in the direction of the market place. The sight could not bring a smile to his lips, none of the children's play ever did, but it brought a semi-balance of peace to his mind. He closed his eyes, lolled his head back indifferent that his untamed locks of auburn were draped over the inner edge of the ever flowing fountain.

Stupid place to put a bench, he mused as the wet tips of his hair stuck to his skin sending small rivulets of water down his back. Thin slender fingers neither hot nor cold, with no pulse behind them they were as lifeless as he felt. Feeling the scrutiny of others he sighed, forced himself to not drift in the thoughtless abyss that every angel harbored in his soul. Cracking an eye open he stared at Syt's daughter, she was a pretty thing with cat green eyes and chocolate brown locks. She was favoring him with a look he was unfamiliar with. She was looking at him as if he wasn't quite right in the head. How astute, he didn't feel all quite right in the head.

"Watcha doing with your head in the water Uncle Ruian?"

Uncle, God's he was the worst one in history no doubt of that. He wasn't even a good father. He had blotched that role so bad that his child and wife, his soul, were dead. His heart constricted, but he managed to keep it from his face.

"I took a nap I guess."

She winced at the sound of his voice, it was harsh, scratched, and that was for a very good reason. After _she_ had died he had not taken a bite of food or drop of water, and because he was the most reliant upon... mortal means of sustience out of the seraphim not drinking or eating did hell to his voice. Luckily it effected nothing else, or perhaps that was the greatest shame, he would not starve to death and so another means of meeting his love yet again were cut off from him.

"That's a silly place to take a nap Uncle."

She seemed unfazed by his unblinking scrutiny, though the few other remaining parents were starting to look amongst themselves in askance on who was going to save the little girl before he snapped and ripped her limb from limb. She hopped up on the bench or tried, he gently wheeled her up, set her besides him, though she looked rather like she wanted to be in his lap. Perhaps she recalled when he'd set Lloyd on his knee, and while the woman -or rather _she_ had cooked- were making dinner he'd spend an hour or so telling them all tales of days long gone. He had no stories, only an empty pit inside that gnawed upon his mind, his heart. Bits of that danced in his eyes, glimpses of that abyss, and the little girl did not see it.

"Perhaps it is."

Miss Purrs yawned a cat's yawn with needle teeth clicking and did a painful stretch in his lap that involved claws digging into his legs. She then flopped over, deciding that she liked the very still and quiet seraphim. It was probably a break from having little one's tug on her tail and stroke her fur the wrong way with good intentioned but rough hands. He traced that silken head with a digit, the animal was little more then a tingle and heartbeat covered in silken white fur under his hands, and massaged the cat's shoulders, and it made a mewing noise. Realizing he was being too rough in his anxiety of having to talk to someone he set his hands to stroking the animals side, and as with most animals it forgot the hurt and went back to purring in a few heartbeats.

"You and Miss Purrs look like close friends."

"Perhaps we are." Kratos said cooly, wishing as horrible as it was, that Lissa would get bored and leave him alone.

"You say perhaps a lot don't cha?"

"A vice."

"What's a vice?"

Kratos swallowed, in his mind he heard Lloyd's voice ask him that question a thousand and one different endings a thousand and one different times. He gave the animal a shove and with an offended 'murr' it hopped from his lap and into the little girls. He gripped his knees with a hand, his knuckles where white, a paleness that was emphasized by contrast of hues offered by his black gloves. Still the girl looked at him, drummed her feet into the leg of the bench and waited for him to finish whatever silly 'adult things' he liked to do so often. Composed, aware of the gauntlet of parents staring at him in hostility and fear he stood, towered over the small child. She looked up at him, still wearing that 'are you OK?' look.

"Lissa, where is your father?"

"Daddy's at home."

"Your mother?"

"Mommy's at home." She gave him a long look and frowned. "Daddy said your supposed to take me home."

Syt, Kratos mentally snarled, needs his brains checked if he thinks I'm even capable of escorting his daughter home. He felt a thin spark of anger at the fisherman's thoughtlessness, Syt dared not trust Kratos, not when Kratos did not even trust himself to hold a conversation with a little girl for more then a minuet. He almost considered asking one of the other adults to see the girl home, but that would mean talking, explanations, and he wasn't up to that yet. He wondered if he'd ever be up to that ever again.

"Can we go home now Uncle Ruian?"

Go home... he'd never had a home. Oh he'd had that place in Welgaia, provided Mithos hadn't ripped it apart yet looking for him, yet it had never been home. His home had a canvas roof or glittered with the pulsing lights of the sky, the walls had been no walls, the roads the floors, and _Her_ arms his solace. Kratos swallowed, mentally gripped himself, he would not break down and cry in front a child. But the sooner he got her home, the sooner he could go to that oh so empty room and weep. He nodded, his voice forsaking him, and she shyly slipped her small hand in his. He then allowed that child to lead him to her home, the emptiness of his own echoing in his soul.

Xxx xxx xxx

'Beloved, you aren't taking care of yourself...' Her voice was a whisper in his ear, her fingers a breath against his drawn wings. He drew them every night now, and in the darkest hours he could feel her touch sometimes hear her voice, but only when they were drawn. 'You're hurting yourself, you need to stop.'

"It doesn't matter, nothing matters." Kratos closed his eyes, his wings trembled with the phantom fingers that stroked his wings only in memory. "He killed you then Lloyd... Nothing matters without either of you in my life."

'You promised.' Anna's voice became angry, she'd never been that angry with him before. 'You promised me that you'd stop this, you'd stop him!'

"I can't kill him, I can't break the seal for Origin will not allow it, and until that Seal is broken he is all but immortal. There is nothing I can do." Kratos closed his eyes. "He is beyond me, a God amongst self made Gods."

'He's hurting other people... and you don't care...'

"I can't!" It came out as a tortured scream. "How can I care with you dead?" Her hand's stopped, stilled, and withdrew. "Anna, please don't leave me, not again, please! I'm sorry, please don't abandon me!"

'Never that beloved...' Her voice was a caress in his tortured mind, her scent filled his nostrils. Her hand slipped something in his pant pocket. 'I never left, you are leaving me by dying. There is something you must do my love, then we can see each other again, but not until it's done.'

"What?" He looked in the dark of the room. "Tell me, I'll do anything!"

She sighed his name, her hands wound around his shoulders. For a heartbeat he felt a pulse, her heartbeat caress him through her skin. He moved to hold her, and held nothing but a pillow. He growled, woke up and threw the pillow across the room, it hit the door with a loud thump, nearly fell apart under the force of his throw. Groaning the seraphim rolled over, into the sunlight that streamed from his rooms one window, his heart cursed the sun, the light, the very heartbeat he endured. Better to let the dark take hold, let it rush into the crimson halls and bring a blessed stillness that would end in _her_ arms. He closed his eyes, his wings crumpled beneath him in discomfort as he rolled from the light, they squirmed half heatedly, did not like being pinned. He hardly cared, as a matter of fact he welcomed the pain that ran across his back. He played the dream over and over in his mind, she had just been about to tell him and...

"Damn it!"

He threw another pillow, the door opened before it could connect and the seraphim winced as Syt lost his feet under the attack. Spotting movement in the hall, more then Syt would make, he swiftly drew in his wings and prayed to Origin that none of those who had come to gawk had seen. There were no prayers to Martel , not bowing nor light of reverence or terror in their eyes, so his secret was safe for now.

"Kratos, if ye'd be so kind as t' not try to kill me every time I open a door I'd be greatly appreciatin' it!" Syt growled, giving his friend a look that was grateful -probably because the wings weren't out-, worried, and angry. It was an interesting mix, and Kratos was a little surprised he could feel interest in it. "Damn it man, I thought you was dead. Ye were screamin' like a man in Desian camp gettin' his manhood cooked off!"

"I... was?" He stared at Syt, the man and everyone in that hall -which consisted of all of the over nighters and no few of the help- were returning the favor. A few of them some in little more then there undergarments, one even sporting a comical fizz tasseled hat. "I..." He flushed, drew the covers about his bare chest and gave the inns customers a half hearted glare. They left, slowly, and when it was only him and Syt the fisherman gave him a long look.

"I am sorry Syt." He said, once the fisherman had closed the door and taken the chair -the rooms only other piece of furniture- as his own. "I had a nightmare..."

"Ye should be drinkin' yon tea the Mrs. Made for you Kratos iffin' ye be havin' nightmares that bad."

"I... Have been ill already with your wife's cooking, and I am not ready to court death just of yet by taking any concoction she errantly calls medicine."

"Good." Syt stood, a thin smile on his lips. "Iffin' you be leavin' tell one of my younglin' and I'll come along. Or you can stay here of course. I'm gunna get me some breakfast, you be eatin' any or drinkin' any today?"

Kratos shook his head, food and drink would only result in his body's violent rejection.. If Syt and Issia panicked when they saw him bloody they'd probably faint when they saw his wings spasoming behind him, sides heaving, black sludge and half digested food falling from his lips.

It was only when Syt left, and he lay back on the bed, yet again drawing his wings and laying upon them, that he realized what he'd said.

"I can not die yet, there is something I must do." He tasted those horrid words, her words, and absently let his hand go to his pocket. If she loved him she would just... understand his pain and take him with her. Yet she had not, she had gone away leaving him alone. It had to be false, the vision his delusional mind made for him for the sake of self comfort. His hand went into the shadowed fold of fabric, even as his mind resolved that it was only a dream. His fingers closed around something sharp, jagged, he absently pulled it out, even as he resolved that the only pleasure that dream had garnered was a moment's false hope and the sound of her voice. Nothing more nothing...

In his hand, clenched around his fingers lay something that glittered. He spread his fingers, and balanced on his palm lay a gem, the color of purest silver, it's facets and planes gently stroked with thin lines of darkest blue. Those lines blurred in his vision, as did the world.

"Forgive me, my love." He whispered words of endearment, apology in angelic. " _Pheras mer, Anna. Pheras mer, asu merth sahd._" He kissed the stone, the cold and utterly lifeless stone, and it sent a tingling jolt through him, a small but pleasant electrical shock. "I wish you could have told me what I need to do." He murmured to the rock conversationally, caressed it with a thumb. "But whatever it is you will tell me in time... and I swear I'll be ready."

Closing his eyes, knowing sleep would not come no matter how hard he willed it for at least another month the seraphim sighed. What was thirty days to one who lived for eternity? Nothing. And an eternity without her, without his son, what was that? Worth nothing, he would keep his promise as best he could, and hope, pray it would be the death of him. Death was all he had to look forward to now, and he did so with a slight bitter curling of his lips.


	5. View from the jagged edge

**In regards to reviewer responses, until the ban is lifted from making them I will be e-mailing those all reply to my multi-chaptered stories, those who don't have an e-mail that I can access will receive there review responses in the normal manner of pre-chapter notes but I'll have to ask that you give me your e-mails if you want me to reply because I may have my work deleted if I continue this practice overlong. **

InuKratosStan: Thanks for the praise, it's good to know I can tug readers heartstrings right along with my own. I'll freely admit I was in tears at the end of "DES" and "For love of..." stories, it makes it hard to write them that is for sure when the computer screen blurs and you have to fetch a tissue. I'll keep it up as long as I can.

View from the jagged edge,

Chapter 5

"Say it slower." Syt ordered his youngest, he was sitting, which was the best place to be with these types of surprises.

"Unca' Ruian went outside and his back was all sparkles and he swooped off into the stars."

Syt said a very colorful word and Issia lifted her hand and cuffed him for his language.

"It's best he's gone." She told him later that night, when Arst was fast asleep in the room he and his brothers shared. "He was, if nothing else driving off the customers." She yawned, her green eyes glittering like emeralds in the fading moonlight. Issia's arms enfolded him gently, he rested in her embrace staring out into the silver streaked night. "It's best he's gone."

She wanted him to agree, to say her words and make them true.

Syt said nothing, rested his head on her arm and wondered.

"It's for the best." She was insistent, wanting him to say he agreed. "He was draggin' us into his world Syt, by tellin' us all of those things he was draggin' us in, and now that he's gone... We're free now, of him, his ways. We can be normal, raise our children the way they were meant to be raised."

"His pain means nothin' to you?" Syt muttered, more to himself then her.

"Of course it does, Anna is a sister to me and don't you be thinkin' that there isn't a day I miss her, and a day I don't be cryin' for her." Issia sounded angry, but then she had good cause, his accusation was not a light one.

"I'm sorry m' love." Syt closed his eyes, not wanting to see what he was seeing, not wanting to hear those words from his love's lips. "Best be goin' to sleep we be havin' a long day tomorrow fixin' the repute of the inn." He tweaked her hair and she chuckled.

He had not agreed though he had soothed her. He had not made her words true, and those words and the implications hung between them. She did not see it however, with a muttered good night she smuggled against him and drifted off. He saw, would not close his eyes now that the man who had all but wrenched them open had just left. He opened his eyes, stared at the silver smeared dark. Syt recalled another night long ago, when he had seen the chaotic twisted wings of a seraphim send lines of silver through the shadows. Though warmed by his wife's embrace and a blanket wrapped around them both he stared into the dark and shivered.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Sir," Botta saluted sharply, he wore the badge of second in command and looked ill suited for it. He was young, to any who could see through the lines of worry that crossed that face he showed his hundred some years with few marks. Yuan though had more important things to do then look at his second in command, he shifted through data on the Angeles Project, read in Kvar's own hand the torments inflicted on Anna and there positive result in forming ex-sphere that could increase any beings power by the multiple of ten.

"What is it Botta?" Yuan did not look up, but then Botta was fast becoming accustomed to this. He didn't quite understand just how perspective his general was, did not know that Yuan could have easily followed Botta's words had he been in a battle, or perhaps shifting through ten times as much reading.

"My people in Tethe'alla have seen, or rather heard rumor of, the seraphim Kratos Aurion. Permission to elaborate sir?"

"Botta." Yuan sighed, looked up. "We are -for the hundredth time- in my personal office you have my blanket permission to elaborate to your hearts content. You do not need my permission to explain a plan that you see as vital until after, or if it is failing, you have my permission to have an opinion and to speak it to me bluntly. That's your job, start doing it."

"Yes sir, but if you recall sir you only granted me blanket permission in the Sylvarant base, not the Tethe'allan base."

"Was... that a joke Second Botta?"

"A bad one sir, but yes it was."

"We need to stop working together if my humor's rubbing off." Yuan sighed. "But then it's only nine hundred years of dealing with my own jabs and dry sarcasm... I'm sorry," Yuan smiled a thin curl of his lips that made Botta wince. "Well get on with it, I have work to do."

Botta fished out a piece of paper, and Yuan frowned as the young half elf cooly read off the various sightings of Kratos, or _Derris Fa Sith _by Renegade and human commoner alike. Kratos was being incredibly open and stupid, even Mithos would hear about this. Half the people in Ozette were saying the apocalypse was coming since death seemed to make permanent habitation in the mountain range behind there village. Cruxis would need to pump in a great deal of propaganda, stage a few miracles, in order to keep a hundred mini-death cults from sprouting in that region. He sighed, set aside his work to write a quick note to the pope of Tethe'alla telling him to send his most devote and heavy handed priests to that region, then he composed a letter to Yggdrasil informing the younger half elf some cults had appeared and he was sending the human's to kill each other over it.

That would amuse the bastard if nothing else.

"Has he made any moves towards my contacts?"

"He's been avoiding them like the plague sir."

"What has he been doing?" Yuan frowned.

"Talking to the dwarf in that region sir."

"Any news on what they're saying to each other?"

"We dare not get that close my lord, he's been going out every day and night killing monsters and one of our men who dared approach was discovered during one of his hunts..." Botta gritted his teeth. "The other men who were stationed outside on the very skirts of Ozette received a blood soaked helmet as a threat, I had them withdraw."

"That is strange, normally he's hesitant about killing sentient creatures." Yuan closed his eyes. "Desian's killed his family however, that would explain it, he must of thought our men were Desian's. Send compensation to the fallen man's family, I'll set his name in the rolls of the fallen in honorable service once I have it."

Botta flushed, saw what vital bit of information he had left out and corrected that mistake.

Yuan kept a pretense of being busy, of radiating a calm sympathy to the fallen and the soldiers, but the second Botta had left he dropped both. Worry, not for his men, but for the man he called soul brother, gnawed at him. The old Kratos would never kill a Desian without reason, and while he had good reason of late... Yuan bit his lip, a mortal habit, he had been picking up a lot of them lately.

It was ironic, Kratos was rushing into the abyss, gripping the cold lifeless aspect of his nature to drown his pain while the sight of Kratos doing so had finally wrenched Yuan out of making that same choice. They'd both been hovering over the edge, Anna had dragged Kratos out of it first, and seeing the love between that woman and a supposidly lifeless soulless being had been the first step in making Yuan remember himself. Where Anna's influence upon him had been a pail of cold water to the face, her influence on Kratos had been fire. A burning passion, an igniting of the soul, in that time they'd traveled and fought against Cruxis together the Aurion's had perhaps done the most damage to Mithos then any had done in the last four millennia. When the physical embodiment of that love had been slain, that drive, love itself, all good within Kratos had died right along with Anna. In Anna's death Yuan had seen one of the worlds most powerful men die right along with her, not willing to let go Kratos had become a ghost of himself, desperately trying to die so that he could have his family yet again. And Mi- no Yggdrasil, Mithos had died along with Martel all those years ago- Lord Yggdrasil was not letting go, was keeping Kratos tied to a life that was more pain then pleasure. Out of all of them only Yuan had let go, moved by the woman's example on how to live, moved by the positive influence she'd exerted over Kratos, and outraged by Yggdrasil's actions, he had allowed these things to fuel his weary soul and very hesitantly went to his duty without letting it consume him. He could never mend all the bridges he had burned, could not open all the channels of living, but a very few he could keep open, and in keeping them open he was once again becoming the man he had been before Martel's death.

He felt a strange clenching in the span between his chest and his privates, a slight twisting inside and a dull ache. He blinked, not understanding, and not understanding your body when you were attuned to it so keenly as a seraphim could only be was unsettling. There came a sound he'd never heard before, a muffled growling, and he frowned. Put a hand over his shriveled belly.

"Claron!" He called to his guard as a suspicion settled onto him, one that was as unsettling as the sensation. The man in tight black clothes sporting a silver helmet and sword tromped in.

"Sir?" Claron saluted, put his hand over his heart and bowed.

"I have a question, one that might be... uncomfortable." Again went that alien noise, and Claron blinked, perhaps hearing it. "You know what I am correct?"

"A seraphim sir?" Claron was too well trained to let his expression show his true emotions, so Yuan was left to imagine that the man was feeling confused shock at being asked such a strange question.

"Yes, but do you know what that entails?"

"No sir."

"Nevermind..." Yuan sighed, waved the man off. "It's about time for your leave for lunch anyways, go early if you wish."

"Thank you sir." Claron bowed, and paused as the sound went off again. He turned, looked horribly uncomfortable. "Permission to..."

"Oh for the love of Luna, permission to speak freely granted... and you can tell anyone else who come in here they have it as well the second they step into this room!"

"I'll do so my lord... That noise... If you want to do something about it you might want to nip on by the cafeteria or something when you have a free moment."

"The cafeteria?" Yuan repeated dumbly.

"Well sir I know that sound and my belly's been making it for an hour now, but then I skipped breakfast you see, can't abide the damn eggs they make every second's dawn and..."

Yuan scowled, or was going to, but he had given the man permission to speak his mind freely. And listening to the mortal talk... perhaps that would help him remember what it was to be mortal again. He needed those reminders, so not to forget and find himself again on the edge. He listened to the man prattle about how they should have ketchup for the eggs and how it'd damn well improve the flavor, and nodded. Claron left in a better mood, but on his way offered to bring his lord some food.

A seraphim could not bleed, so Yggdrasil had told him. A seraphim could not be mortal, to become as Kratos was he would give up all those things, give up his mortality and a portion of his sanity.

Yet he had bleed, he had bleed and wept seeing Kratos try to kill himself.

And now... now he hungered.

Would he taste now that he hungered? the fine wine he occasionally sipped had been little more then heavy slickness on his tongue and throat. The soft foods he nibbled for the sake of recalling how to eat were a dry dust to him. Well if he did best to take advantage of it.

"No, that wont be needful." Yuan set aside the last of his paper work, scanned it, and put his signature on a document that he felt needed to be handled now. The rest, it could wait an hour or so, after all it wasn't as if he needed to sleep ten hours like most mortals. He stood, much to Claron's shock. "I understand there have been a few... modifications to the base, they have moved the cafeteria twice since it's construction two thousand some odd years ago." Yuan paused, uncomfortable in asking this, uncomfortable in asking anything of anyone. "Could you give me directions to the dinning halls current location?"

"What! Umm I mean yes sir! Perhaps... You could drop off that letter before you come down to the hall sir?"

The last was said so meekly that Yuan fought to keep his lips from curling into a rare smile.

"That was my plan initially." Yuan told the man, he allowed his eyes to narrow and he leaned forward ever so slightly, forcing his voice to dip into a lethal whisper.. "Claron, is there something going on in the mess hall that I shouldn't see?"

"No sir!" It was a squeak, and Yuan bit his tongue to keep from laughing. He waved at the man to dismiss him after getting those directions, and noticed just how fast the soldier was running. He muttered the words of a spell, teleported the document from his hands onto his aids desk some two floors down, and silent as a shadow, sticking to the shadows, followed the panicked guard.

Yuan paused a goodly distance from the common mess hall, in the darkest part of the hall, pressed against the wall he muttered a spell so that others would overlook him and pursued one of his favorite hobbies of eavesdropping..

"He's coming!"

Yuan bit down hard on his lower lip, Claron might well be announcing that death was coming for them all so raw was terror in his tone.

"Who is?" Botta asked, there was the sound of a projector unit being turned down.

"He, Lord Yuan, he's coming to.. Join us for lunch!"

"Now!" Botta squeaked, Yuan wouldn't have thought the man capable of that. Amazing what you learned of your Seconds during there time off. He fast showed his spurs though, taking command before panic could. "Hide those disks, in the dirty dish cupboards, warn the chiefs so they don't clean the videos, take those posters down, hide the dart board, the rest of you pick up the mess in here and scrub the tables."

"The entertainment center?" Someone squeaked.

An entertainment center, what did they do throw parties during their breaks?

"Teleport it to my quarters, it's not like I have anything else in there anyways."

"The kariokee machine wont come out of the floor sir, we fused it down so it could tap into the electronic mana residue that runs across the floors of the base and if we take it out we'll break it!"

"Could it be repaired?"

"No sir."

"Claron how much time do we have?"

"He's dropping a letter off first to his aid on second floor sir."

"Ten minuets then... Just unplug as much as you can from it and throw a cloth over it. We'll just have to pray he doesn't ask."

As chaos, controlled chaos, ensued Yuan looked at his watch, and decided to give them fifteen minuets, just to be nice.

Xxx xxx xxx

Altessa stroked his silver beard, stared long and hard at the plans that the man had laid out before him. Some existed only in his mind, memories of words and arguments, others existed as paper charts with measurements, and it was both he looked at. He did not know of the when, the how, but then neither did the man who he had spoken to. Neither would know the when, but Kratos had promised him that he would tell him when the time came.

'_Be ready_' The man had said, wings spread about him, his eyes chillingly like the empty pit gaze of a balisk. '_It will occur before your time on this mortal coil ends'_

A vague stab at clarifying since Altessa was in his late middle age, for a dwarf that time was from seven hundred to nine hundred, and if he was lucky to see nine hundred he had at most another two hundred years of life for him to live if Gnome be willing. It was a long time, and not long at all when you were setting the bare lay work for the destruction of the Gods and old order. He'd agreed, let his clans ties to an Efreet touched nature allow him to open his mouth and respond to the injustice before his brain could even realize the enormous risk he was running. He was playing high dice with his soul, not just his life but his immortal soul. If Yggdrasil ever figured he was a part of this madness...

Yet, as he closed his eyes, he recalled the girl child who had lain before him. A bird nosed man hovering over them both, asking prying questions even as his knife nipped at the girls flesh. Shrill laughter a tormented scream hat caught in the eyes even as he set the cruxis crystal down on that mere baby's chest... He already was playing dice with his soul, perhaps had already lost a large sum of it.

"MASTER, DO YOU WISH FOOD FOR THE NIGHT?"

"It's called dinner Tabatha." Altessa whispered the correction absently, not opening his eyes.

"DO YOU WISH FOR DINNER MASTER?"

"No thank you Tabatha." He said in his gravely voice. "You should just run along and get some rest if that's what you want."

"YES MASTER."

He wondered with a bitter wrench in his heart if the doll knew what rest was. She while looking adult had the mentality of a young child, had not known how to speak, to even walk. Kratos had taught her for a span and after Yggdrasil's failed experiments on her had brought her to Altessa.

'I_ don't know if she could be useful to you, or if you would rather have me end her life, but she is one of your creations so I saw it fit that you decide_.'

Guilt could not kill a man, regret could not kill a man, you shouldered both with a sigh and it piled higher and higher, a grave rock pile for the heart. It was a horrible weight, that forced tears from the eyes and caused pain but never ended pain, only added to it. He sighed into his hands, his wrinkled spot worn hands that would not fail him until much later in life. Though they looked old there was the mark of youth still about them, the strength of youth given to him and all his folk by the blessings of Gnome. He opened his eyes, stared at his hands and imagined that caught in the veins, between the crimson hue, lay a multitude of possibilities, a thousand births of creation that would pound against his mind and make him take up hammer and stoke flame and set earth to flame and hammer to both. In his youth that would have excited him, pleased him...

Slender fingers drifted over him, slid a blanket over his frame and he turned and said thanks to Tabatha. She smiled, not with her lips, she was incapable of that being a mere robot, but in his mind, in the corner that prayed and hoped for the best in all, he could have sworn he saw a smile in her eyes.

"GOOD NIGHT MASTER" She said, her voice as always was a breathless monotonous sigh.

He had not ordered her to see to his comforts, had ordered her to see to her own. He stared at her a long time, and those emerald eyes stared back, waited. She wanted something.

"Good night Tabatha."

Having what she sought the woman, robot, doll, he wasn't sure what the truth was any longer... She defied Cruxis than, in all there might, in all there judgement, this soul less being defied them all. Her lips curled for all of a heartbeat into a smile, and she turned walked away to do whatever she did when he did not supervise her.

Xxx xxx xxx

Lunch was entertaining. Ghost tastes caressed his tongue. It wasn't strong, a phantom taste that lingered for only a moment, but by the Gods it was taste and he'd be damned if he'd quibble over how strong or weak it was. He ate only half a plate full, and was aware of the still militant manner of the men about him as they fought to remain disciplined in his presence. Manners were used -in many cases- for the first time, people tried to actually eat with the utensils instead of there fingers, what little conversation that buzzed about him was subdued. He heard it all of course, his hearing was as keen as ever, and he kept his peace about what he'd over heard, at least until he was leaving.

"Botta," Yuan said calmly, staring his second straight in the eyes. "It must be absolute hell for you to be sitting on that projector disk, Shadow only knows you'd never see me risking my male hood over that. Oh and you probably want to pull those disks out form the cleaning unit before some jumpy cook forgets about them being there and turns on the washer." Yuan finished his glassful of tea in one swallow, aware that all the men, even Botta, were favoring him with a wide eyed look of complete shock. He set aside his plate and glass, nodded to them, and stood. "And for the sake of my peace, next time you actually use that thing." He waved a hand at the machine under the table cloth. "Don't turn it all the way up, I can hear it from my office."

And with that he left them to gap and gossip. He considered teleporting, but decided to use his feet for the hell of it. A sense of fullness, but not so much fullness that he'd be slow if he needed to fight, left his belly and him strangely content. It had been good for an hour to act normal, though his men's stiffness while entertaining had made him comfortable. He did not need to think upon how to respond to questions and chatter when someone was uncomfortable around you, he'd get to that point again sometime later when he was ready for it, until then stilted formality was a good thing for his purposes.

He retreated to his office, the paperwork seemed to fly under his hands, not plod as it had before. He blazed through the reading, mulled over the implications, and wrote out his orders. He spent a goodly three hours on it, and was surprised when he heard the heartbeat of someone besides his guards. Lifting his head the seraphim called for them to enter before his guards could go through all the annoying ceremonies a guest could entail.

"Second Botta, what brings you here?" Yuan glanced at the man, then went back to his paper work.

"May I ask you something of a delicate nature, sir?"

Yuan looked up, considered the man's discomforted expression then gestured for the man to take a seat. Years of experience had taught him that touchy subjects were best handled sitting. He leaned back into his padded chair, annoyed he could not feel the comfort if offered, but then that might of been asking too much.

"Speak Botta, it takes a great deal to insult me."

"You are a seraphim sir?"

"Yes." Yuan frowned, not liking the man's hesitance. Perhaps Botta's promotion would be a temporary thing until another promising youngster caught Yuan's attention. "I've mentioned this before, several times."

Botta frowned, another man would let the matter sit, all the other second's -save Rene- had as a matter of fact. Even as Botta stumbled through his query on Yuan's health and strange behavior the seraphim mulled over the implications between the questions. The fact that something of his superior's condition enticed interest and perhaps even concern in Botta was a strange thing for Yuan to swallow. It was harder to take then the food he had downed for sustience a little while back.

"Second, are you asking these questions to cover your fear that the Renegades will fall apart for my absence or just out of your own sick curiosity?"

Botta glared at him, then suddenly broke the glare and of all things laughed and smiled.

"I should not inquire of your health then, it seems as if you possess it in full if that is your response to me sir."

Yuan blinked, considered the man's words as he obviously was meant to considered them. Genuine concern, compassion, such strange and utterly mortal things, they were alien in him, or almost alien. Forsaken more likely, tossed to the winds for the pain they inflicted on the near immortal heart that he harbored.

"Botta..." Yuan stared at the man, baffled, not knowing what to feel or think. "Perhaps I am not as well as you and I both believe."

The seraphim cursed there was nothing on his desk save paperwork. He should perhaps get some type of paper weight or something for awkward moments like this so he could roll the object over his hands and bury emotion in sensation. He settled for staring at the desk, and putting his strange thoughts together. When at last he had some idea of what to say he lifted his gaze, locked those black eyes with his sapphire orbs.

"His defiance was absolute, Kratos' I mean. His defiance of Mithos was not of the ideals but the very existence that monster put upon us." Seeing the look of surprise Yuan smiled. "Yes, Mithos the hero and Lord Yggdrasil of Cruxis are the same man. The great Hero and Tormentor are the same. I was one of his companions and when Martel, my love, died... The Hero fell and the Tormentor took his place. We lured a human man, the man whom we teasingly called "Master Death" because his skill with the blade was so masterful he dealt death as one would a craft, we made him the first seraphim of Cruxis. Oh he agreed, but his sanity was in serious question at that time, I wasn't in much better shape myself." Yuan scowled, recalling all the promises the assurances, the lies, that had fallen from Yggdrasil stained by the heart's blood. "When he changed us he said that we would no longer bleed, no longer feel pain of the heart or flesh, all but the most powerful emotions would fall away like fouled clothing, we would sacrifice all pleasures of the flesh and for that we would gain enhanced hearing and sight. We would endure the ages, and having forsaken these burdens of weakness that so haunt all races we would rise above them all and with this power save the world."

Botta's mouth was hanging open, as was Yuan's, at least in his mind. He could not believe how open he was being. Yet this man was his Second, of all the Renegades Botta had the right to know his lord's mind. The seraphim sighed.

"Yet I bleed Botta, my soul bleeds when I hear the screams of those in a Ranch, my hands bled when I..." Yuan closed his eyes and shivered. "For four millennia I have lived, for two of those I was content, believed what we were doing was right and when I saw what we of Cruxis were doing, really saw... Well this is the result." Yuan swept a black gloved hand across the room.

"The Renegades." Botta leaned back into his chair, his mind reeling from the expression on his face. Of course he knew most of this already, but to be in the presence of someone who'd lived it brought the disturbing truths that you forever closed your eyes to no matter how many times the hearing... "Were founded two thousand years ago."

"I'm surprised you know your history so well." Yuan snapped. A long moment passed, and the tension drained out of him, made his shoulders normally straight with pride slump in defeat. He sighed, shook his head and finished obscuring his face with a mask of dark blue hair and a hand that covered his eyes. "I am sorry Botta, as my Second you deserve better then my sarcasm, as well as having to endure my long and pointless rambling. You may take leave for the rest of the day if you wish."

Botta did not get up, and when Yuan looked up was surprised to see a thoughtful look on his second's face.

"Sir, if you bleed, feel pain, then it seems logical that Yggdrasil lied to you."

"For the bulk of four thousand years I did not though." Yuan muttered, more to himself then to his Second.

"Then sir, perhaps it was the lie that became truth for you..."

"Self deception?" Yuan snorted. "That's a bit of a stretch."

"In part, I would not argue that some kind of change did not came upon you." Botta paused, could not read his General's still face and after a moment gathered his courage and pressed on. "No half elf I know of could for example summon wings, and no magi that I know of could manipulate mana the way you do to cast some of your spells. But perhaps that is all that has occurred, some change in your metabolism, some change in your ability to manipulate mana, and that is all."

Yuan frowned, stared at nothing for a long moment. The change was more significant then what Botta said. For what of his mind, the never resting all observant mind that he was shackled with? There was no easy explanation for that. But the degree of change that had been inflicted upon him, he realized, as Kratos must of before him, that the degree had been exaggerated. Whether that exaggeration was Yggdrasil's lack of understanding, his insane hopes, or something else, Yuan would never know. Ironic how it was the one man who might actually hold the answers of that was on the edge of becoming almost as insane as Yggdrasil. To get those answers he'd have to drag Kratos back to some sem-balance of sanity before even edging around those questions. Not that he hadn't meant to do so anyways, but the hidden information would add even more incentive to his cause.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Every time I dream it's of them, I close my eyes and they are all I see, it is both the ultimate torment and blessing."

Kratos stared at the grey sky, the seas were the same hue toped with restless froth, the island was of some grey rock sheathed in ice. It fit, for he wore his formal white uniform, the glossy white with only touches of brown that ran across the purer hue like earthen scars. The only color lay in his hands, a brittle length of red that he had spotted on his flight here. He was alone, staring at the flecks of white on the horizon that alluded to the massive snowy back of the unnamed snow covered waste land. He spoke to no one he knew. His sole friend in this world, Altessa a dwarf, lay in his earthen den a few hundred leagues south from this point, his other friends were in Sylvarant, standing in perhaps in the noon sun. For him in this grey world, had he a care for time, it would have been midnight, but so far north, in the season of summer the son never set, so he was favored with enough light to stare at the bleak lifeless world about him. There were no cities that could dot the jagged mountains that surrounded Falnoir, no adventurers dared these slopes, no rheiard would fly this close to the coldest point in all the worlds unless the piolet sought to fly on wings of ice. No one was here to speak to him, and loathing the silence, he had broken it, first with his howls of grief and now with his words.

There was an end to his grief it seemed, an end to the suicidal urges, the mad howling fits and painful tears. It was much like a barrel of icy water, he slid his hands in and emptied it bit by bit until hands numb, soul numb, he realized there was nothing left when all he grasped was air. That realization had come to him slowly, having nothing within, having only but a shell without that would not break no matter how he strived. He was held together by only a few words, words whispered into his soul by his deceased beloved. Had he spoke those words to anyone else they would be ridiculed, called delusion. They were not delusion, they were truth, perhaps the only truth he had to call his own.

"_Daddy you think Efreet made Celsius happy this year?"_

Kratos rolled the stem of the leaf between his fingers, it caught the dull light and seemed to smolder like embers of a dying fire. He spread his fingers, let the plant glide away on an errant wind. He watched it go on the bitter northern winds, numb, not caring, just noting and never forgetting. Mithos would have been proud of him, would have been thrilled at his apparent success in making his most rebellious of seraphim into a lifeless being at long last.

And how his hopes would have been dashed had he seen and heard Kratos' next words.

"I don't know Lloyd."

"_Do you think Efreet would mind me holding onto a leaf Daddy?"_

"I will tell you what Son." Kratos' eyes gleamed with a light similar yet different from that which caught on the waves below. "Hold onto as many leaves as you can for me and when I come home we shall try to tell how happy Celsius is."

"_Mommy, Daddy's being silly again!"_

"_Hush dear, Daddy's just being Daddy." _

Fingers caressed his wings, wings he could not recall drawing

"_Are you leaving?"_

"There... is something I must do."

"_Then get it done as quickly as you can my love."_

"Keep him safe for me beloved, until I can come home."

"_Of course," _The wind, her hands, gently tweaked his hair_. "You probably shouldn't dawdle if you want to be back in time for dinner."_

"Yes... I'll be back though, as soon as I am allowed."

"_Don't let that pointy eared twerp get his knives in you, just keep a clear head, take a deep breath when he ticks you off, and be careful."_

"Aren't I always?" His lips curled into a small smile, not having taken in a drop of water for months they felt as if the should crack and leave trails of red down his chin due to the gesture.

"_No you're arrogant, condescending, tactless, and hot headed." _She laughed softly, embraced him and he allowed his fingers to gently caress the cruxis crystal, her cruxis crystal. _"I think he has something planned, please my love promise me you'll stay safe."_

"So long as it is in my power. Wait for me my love, I am coming."

Spreading wide his wings there came a rain of shattered glass, it fell from it's perch of moon touched sapphire onto the cold snow. He did not feel the cold of ice, did not sense the heaviness fall away from him. He leapt, left only one mark upon the earth to show the hours he had spent upon that perch. One lone feather, frayed and tattered, tipped in dull red brown hue, fell to the earth behind him. It did not move to the winds, drifted down and caught in a pile of snow, then with a sigh from the ever moving gods it stirred, shivered, alone in it's throne of cold it lingered for a moment. Then loosed from it's prison of earth it went north. North to the heart of ice, trailing after the thin spark of summers flame caught in the brittle flesh of fading mortality.


	6. heart stone

Chapter 6

Heart stone

The greatest shame was that there were no stars. Ethers of pure potential, the clay which existence was wrought, swirled around like mist outside. It lapped the sides of the building, a touch of chaos to a mask of order. Misty threads of purple writhed, they entangled amongst themselves tying and twisting till swollen and bloated they became a solid wall of twitching purple that again broke apart into threads and began the repetitive and twisted dance yet again. He watched the process, not really seeing it for having seen it so many times before. He tapped his foot waited with impatience, his motions of temper disturbed the angels, his movement wrenched them back to the world. Their gazes were neither hostile nor friendly, they stood and seeing he was no enemy let him pace, but every time they forgot they would again follow him with their glassy eyes. He timed it, having enough time in his waiting to do so. Every five minuets they looked up, jerked, and then recalled from the sorry excuses that served them as memories, that he was no foe. So in truth Mithos' vision of perfection had the memory of a goldfish. That thought would have brought a smirk to his lips, laughter to _her, _now he felt nothing but a numb acknowledgment.

_She would have loved to see this place; it's filled with all the best carvings of the beasts of legend. She always wanted to see so much, no matter the danger she wanted to see the world._

That thought only passed through his mind, set of waves of agony, and then faded. As all thoughts of her did, it brought a cold stinging agony to his heart, to his soul. Perhaps one day soon all thoughts would cause no pain. They could very well have nothing to rake with their poison seeped talon tipped hands after today. Like a man on the edge of reason, hovering on the edge of the precipice whose bottom was not jagged stone but insanity. He savored the pain even as he feared it. Black stone, onyx sheathed heart to a city of lifeless marble and light, how fitting. He toyed around with the idea of just calling down his power, obliterating this hellish room, then Yggdrasil would come to him and the pain would stop after a howling death. Perhaps he would be submerged in the river of angelic mana, his essence over ran with that scalding hot power, it would be fitting to be baptized in the very filth that had brought him into this twisted life. Only a few words held him back, her words and his promise.

"There is something I must do."

A dry litany, an endless chant that clanged against the steel walls of his shriveled soul like a bells clapper sent sounds smashing into the walls of a bell.

"HE will see you now, he awaits you in the Throne room."

Kratos turned the angel, lean, a mere slip of a man who was as pale as a ghost and wore silver streaked robes. Those wings were grotesquely large, almost as long as Kratos was tall. Disgusting, Kratos shivered at the sight. Soon Ygdrasil would pin wings on sticks by the look of things. Yggdrasil had fallen into the custom of starving the would-be angels with a month's fast before inflicting the change upon them. Some crap about purity.

Rumors spoke that he was honestly killing a number of the 'enlightened' by having them fast to death. That he was turning the magi into something wholly different from angels. Nether Kratos nor Yuan had proof of that crime yet, but Kratos would be none too surprised if that was the case.

"Were you one of the ones he fasted?" Kratos muttered an absent question whose answer he did not care to hear.

"HE will see you now…"

"I know that you poor bastard, I'm well aware."

Kratos turned walked away. Behind him, staring at the space he had just occupied, the angel began to speak yet again.

"HE will see you now…"

And so he would remain until over a month later Yuan would see him and gently tell him to go back to his position in the false night sky of Welgaia.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Kratos, my Brother." Yggdrasil smiled, he was in his adult form sitting so straight Kratos almost asked the Seraphim Lord if he had a rod stuck up his ass. It was tempting, but Kratos squelched the rebellious anger in him. "You have returned to us at long last."

"We are not Brothers and I have returned to take what is mine." Kratos whispered, his eyes locked upon the length of gold chain around Yggdrasil's throat. "You have become a thief Yggdrasil, I expected no less from you."

"I am hurt."

"There's nothing in the vicinity of your body to even resemble a heart to even hurt." Kratos said with no emotion in his voice. "I want my locket Yggdrasil."

"Ah my mentor, aren't want and have two totally separate things? You once told me that men do not get all they want…" Yggdrasil smirked. "It is a pretty babble, the picture inside of course is disgusting, but the workmanship of the talisman is impressive."

"Talk to Kvar, he knew who made it, as I last heard he vivisected the man who made it." Kratos let his dead eyes lock his former students. "Give it back to me, it's mine."

"Or what?" Yggdrasil hissed. "You have no right to ask anything of me! I merely acted to save you, to better you, and what do? You do you draw my blood, hinder my causes, all for some filthy human..."

"I am not here to talk-"

"Well too bad." Yggdrasil made a gesture and the teleport runes snuffed out like a candle. "I am!"

"Then beat your breast bloody and speak until your jaws fall off to one of your pawns."

"One of which you are. You are mine Kratos, _mine_. No one, human or angel, owns you but _me_."

Kratos smirked, swayed as he stood, and heard a woman's voice in his ear, an echo of an old outrage.

_What delusion do you think you've been living off of? You don't own me, I own me, no one else. Not you, not my family, not any half elf who's got it in his sick twisted pulp for brains that he's better then me! I own me, the way you talk about it it's like you want to freaking have me. Well guess what, you're _so_ not my type!_

"Tell me… My Lord… What delusion do you think you have been living off of? You don't own me, no one does save me. Not you, not Martel, not Yuan, none of you have claim over my soul or body." Kratos' lips curled into a cruel smile. "I never did know your preferences went in the direction. That explains all of the male angels don't it?"

Yggdrasil went crimson, sputtered in rage.

Kratos was hardly done yet; he smiled at the air in front of him, hearing a whispered encouragement, feeling a tingle of her hands weaving through his drawn wings.

"Tell me… My Lord… was it pleasant, mating with a being that has no soul? I've always preferred my partners to be lively but then perhaps your taste of more docile mates stems from your lack of stamina."

Light crackled from Yggdrasil's hands and Kratos laughed.

"If you do that you'll give me everything I want. Be weary Yggdrasil, though Origin has dictated that you should continue to live he has put no such restrictions upon me. I can die, you can kill me, and Derris Kharlan will fade into nothingness the second that occurs."

"You lie!" The seraphim roared.

"Gift me death then my Lord and see."

The light around the hands intensified, shifted, engulfed the man until only a child remained.

"My Brother, my mentor, you can not mean such a thing." In his Mithos form the abomination walked to him, enfolded him in a hug. "Look at you; you're pale, sick…. When you get better I know you'll stop saying such horrible things…"

"Unhand me."

So awful was that tone that Yggdrasil did so, he looked up his crystal eyes wide in shock, in pain. Kratos reached forward, gently unfastened the locket from Yggdrasil's chest and slid the chain around his neck and closed the clasp. Kratos turned on his heal, he was trapped, could not leave until Yggdrasil opened the path for the throne room was so heavily shielded that even in the peak of his power he could no fly through. He walked to the teleport pad, stared at the false boy.

"Undo the lock."

Yggdrasil shook his head, looked up at his teacher with grim defiance.

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"Speak." Kratos whispered, his dead eyes looked to the ether shield in a manner that was neither bored nor concerned. The world could end while he stood there and he'd hardly care.

"She meant a lot to you, Yuan said you loved her like I love Martel, is that true?"

"Yes," It was a bare whisper.

Kratos' fist clenched, then relaxed and he leaned against something and nothing all at once. Mithos frowned, concerned. Kratos talked to himself now, listened to things no one could hear, and smiled this horrible empty smile at the air. He was going crazy; Mithos had heard that crazy people did all those things. For Martel, because Martel loved Kratos, Mithos was going to save him. Despite all the nastiness Kratos was showing him.

Because that's what friends do.

And they were friends, friends forever, Kratos had promised long ago when they were fighting in the final war of the Kharlan Wars.

"I can bring her back; all I need is her ex-sphere or her cruxis crystal."

Kratos stopped breathing, stared at Mithos for a long moment with wide tormented eyes.

"Since she's human any female angel could hold her soul because they don't have souls. We could extract her soul from her ex-sphere and transplant it. No one gets hurt, she's back, and you'll be happy again wont you?"

"That won't bring back my son." Kratos croaked, he was shaking and looked if at all possible even paler.

"Snatch some brat off the street, wipe clean his mind and then transplant all the memories of your son into him, a few twists in his head and he'd be an instant copy." Yggdrasil sighed a wistful little sigh in his child form. "And we could get a dog, I've always wanted a dog, so if we do get a dog we share alright?"

Kratos did not seem to hear, his eyes were closed his lips moving, his swaying was even worse.

"Kratos…" Mithos wished Yuan was here, Yuan could explain why Kratos was so sick looking.

"Anna…" Kratos shivered as her hands gently traced the line of his jaw, slid across his tunic in a teasing caress. She tugged at his pocket, where the stone was. He closed his eyes, drew out the small faceted stone, and Mithos gasped. The stone was glowing! No the blue streaks were moving and glowing!

"Give that to me! Give it to me and we can do it, right now! Her whole soul is there, that's the only reason why her crystal is acting like that!" Mithos shrilled, his eyes wide, entranced by the gentle light. That light was fast becoming not so gentle however. "It's so bright… It hurts! Kratos give it to me or put it away!"

And the Lord of Heaven, Lord of Angels turned away from the light and shielded his eyes as it seemed Kratos did not hear him. He rose his voice, but could not speak over the roaring of the star light.

Xxx xxx xxx

"_Give it to me!"_

"_I'll take what is mine, what by right belongs to me!"_

"_You belong to me Kratos, to me no one else!"_

"Anna," His voice was so soft, gentle; he looked into the blazing light, not pained at all by the silver blue stars that wheeled madly in the gem. If he made this decision without speaking to her he would be as guilty as Yggdrasil or Kvar in causing her more pain. "Tell me of your will. No," Kratos heard the howls of Mithos' insanity battering against his ears. "Show me for my ears are deaf in this storm."

A hand slid over his heart, hers. He smiled slightly, slipped his hand over hers. Her fingers tugged on his vest, tugged at the buckle of the belt that slung over his heart. Kratos did so, clawed at the fabric till it ripped and stared at the expanse of red, the glittering red gem that lay over his heart.

That led to his heart, the stone that traced a crystal path through his heart.

Her hands tugged, insistent, demanding, he could deny her nothing.

His fingers closed over the gem, pain shot through him, he ignored it, pulled and with a cry of agony sank to his knees as something ripped inside of him. Wet spread from between his clenched fingers, wet crimson, neither hot nor cold. Not even in death he could be gifted a mortal's sensation, he was denied that and justly so. Something ripped; he held a wet crimson mass in his hand.

He held his heart

_The stone that was his heart._

'_The stone that is your heart shall be hers'._

"Did you see Martel, did you see this? Do you see now?"

"_I know it's such poetic none sense but for what it's worth my heart is yours." He smiled, kissed her hand and she laughed though tears fell down her face. "I don't have a ring or anything… my people don't make such gestures on our weddings… We're ah supposed to… you know…" He blushed. _

"_Oh, know what?" Anna laughed. "It's alright, I completely understand. Your people must have been very strange, no rings, no vows..."_

"_I hold as my people did to one vow, to love the person I kneel before for all of my life. I can only hold as they did to one promise, that through my life I will be by your side, and when the Dark of Death comes I still will walk through that Dark to be by you, no matter how terrifying or daunting the tasks that stand before me may seem. All I can give you… is my love… my life… despite the corruption of the last and the weakness of the first it's all I truly have and it is yours to take or forsake in this one moment and always…"_

_Tears burned in his eyes as she looked at him shaking. He shook his head as she moved to speak._

"_Will you lay down your father's name and honor me by taking my own? Will you do so in the name of not just my love but your own and know that in so doing accept that we will become not two people but one?"_

_Tears fell from Anna's face as they fell from his._

"_Yes." Her voice was shaking as much as she was._

_He could not believe his ears, his lips moved to ask what she had said._

"_Yes, yes, yes, YES! How many times do I have to say it before you hear it!" She threw herself into his arms. "Yes I'll take your name! I'll take you, feathers and all!"_

_He pulled her to him, lost himself in her arms even as she lost herself in his._

He let fall the stone, the crest attached to the stone, let fall away the red liquid sheathed babbles. He stared into the swirling lights of Anna's soul, shaking he rose to his feet though he felt himself growing weak. There was a wide red stain across his tunic, he hardly cared. A voice, not hers, was calling to him in terror, it was as nothing. There was a gapping hole, a massive wound, he gently set his hands over it. She helped him, guided his hand, kept it steady even as he had to rip it open farther so they could...

Together they set the stone across the wound, and he shuddered as power flooded into him. He shuddered in ecstasy, as he felt her within him. Pain became nothing, her scent her touch, she flowed into him, all her memories. The light faded, flickered, went out, and his wings gently fanned him, holding him for his legs and mortal body had fallen under the strain. He hung limp yet tense, his eyes closed, ragged panting coming from his lips.

"What did you...?" Mithos stared at the bloody crystal, the crest, and looked at Kratos in horror.

"You can't wear that, not without the crest, you'll die!"

Kratos' eyes slid open, like a man who was waking from a sleep, that smile was on his lips, that horrid empty smile.

"It…" Blood framed his lips, he seemed to have been dragged in it he was so bloody. "It not… my time… Authority… She… wont… hurt me…"

He let out a soft sigh and his wings slithered into his back and he fell to the earth.

Xxx xxx xxx

Yuan shivered, after hearing Mithos' story… after seeing Mithos like _that_. The leader of Cruxis had been hysterical, a lost lonely child crying out for comfort. He had given what pale poor comfort he could. And Yuan now stood lonely watch over the man who should by all accounts be dead.

_For all that's worth I'm here Brother_.

The blue haired Seraph patted Kratos' shoulder. The auburn haired seraph did not so much as stir, save to draw a breath.

Never had Yuan seen so much damned blood, never, Kratos had bleed himself dry and a test with some of his lab equipment had shown that the thin needle like protrusion on the stone had literally had pieces of Kratos' heart stuck to it.

_Who'd have thought you'd literally rip your heart to shreds, even I never went that crazy._

All the signs had been there too. He'd been reclusive, distant when in presence of those he was closest to. He'd already tried to kill himself.

_He was recovering! Syt, Altessa, they all told me that, and I was seeing it too, then Yggdrasil shoved him over the edge. I can't believe that bastard made the God damned offer, I told him not to!_

Yuan shivered. He was torn between admiration that Kratos had the courage to denounce the corrupt offer, and horrified. Had the same been made to him so soon in his grief –as it had been done by Mithos- well he already knew that answer. He was trying to fix the cost of that ill thought out answer. The bed moaned, or rather the person on the bed moan.

"Easy." Yuan smiled in relief, gripped Kratos' shoulder. "You're pretty screwed up right now you know that? You've been sleeping for three months now and seraphim or not that means you are going to be eating if you can. You are hungry, aren't you?"

"A little…" Came the soft croak, Kratos' eyes glittered with a strange light.

"Great I'll get to work on that spaghetti then."

Kratos made a coughing choke that would have once been a vocal scream of protest.

"I'm joking _orisis_," Yuan used the archaic word for brother absently. "I figure with my bad humor playing nurse you'll get on your feet faster."

There was a soft bitter laugh, it was a start.

Yuan already had prepared a meal, a beef stew that he knew Kratos liked. He only cast a spell to heat up a bowlful and then returned to the room. Kratos was in such a state the half elf figured he'd never realize the trick. He firmly set a pillow on Kratos' bandaged chest then set the bowl over that.

"You healed up nicely despite trying to do yourself in."

Kratos snorted, tried to reach for the spoon but could not. Yuan decided pride be damned and put the full spoon in front of the man's face.

"Eat of look more attractive when I dump this on you, what's it going to be?"

Kratos sullenly opened his mouth and endured being spoon fed.

"Three months?" Kratos whispered.

"Impressive, I knew you were lazy but you had to go and really prove it didn't you?"

Kratos chuckled at the old running joke between them wound down to its conclusion.

"How are you feeling?" Yuan stared down at the man, who just calmly returned that stare.

"Better, since that night."

Nothing, no lies, not the lies of a man not wanting to be left alone to die, Kratos was telling the truth.

Shaken Yuan set aside the bowl, half eaten and pulled off the pillow. He could not believe that, could not accept that. Kratos was weaker then a newborn kitten, there was no way he was better. And yet that calm, tranquil smile that Yuan was favored with made his thoughts into lies.

"I'm going to sleep again…" Kratos whispered. "Not as long I don't think…"

"He wants to see you, do you want him here in your house, because if you don't I'll fight to keep him out."

Steel flashed in those eyes, hatred so sharp it cut through Yuan and left him as nothing.

"Let him come, not the time yet, but closer, it's getting closer… They'll rise up and destroy him, but not yet… Til then he may come, I need to talk to him anyways. Till then, let him know." Kratos' eyes slid shut. "There is nothing between us."

Xxx xxx xxx

"Nothing between us? He's forgiven me and come back!" Mithos squealed he was so bloody happy. Yuan quietly entertained images of skewering the brat's heart but kept that private.

"I don't think he's totally forgiven you." Yuan snarled. "He seemed angry."

"Nothing between us, what else could it mean? No grudges, no anger, he's letting it all go now and becoming as he was always meant to be!"

No friendship, love, or history either if you looked at the flip side. Yuan wondered what exactly Kratos had meant, but he had a charge to go back to. Let Yggdrasil sit on his throne of madness and see great deeds and wonders, there was a dark room with a chair he needed to fill and the hints of twisted dreams that Yggdrasil wore over him was turning Yuan's stomach.

"You're not angry with me, are you Yuan?"

Damned false child, damned murder! I hate you! I hate what you've twisted my love for my brother, and my wife, and the world, into!

Those words would damn him, but they were truth, but he killed truth to speak in lies.

"Of course not, I'm just worried for Kratos."

"Thank you Yuan." Mithos snapped his fingers and the kendama he'd been toying with vanished into a flash of light. "Go get some rest, I'll look over Kratos for a little."

"I'd rather…"

"You must be very tired after all you've been with him for months. And he wanted to talk to me, I wonder about what? Oh well I imagine…"

Yuan hadn't even been heard.

Sighing the seraph left Yggdrasil to weave his dreams of mist and poison, left him alone, and hoped that Kratos was strong enough to stand against Yggdrasil because he certainly wasn't. How humbling and horrible a thought that was.


	7. Final lesson

To my readers,

My promised surprise character appearance; and we are now nearing the end, perhaps one more chapter to go, two at most. As always pleasant reading,

Kasan

Chapter 7

A final lesson

The room was dark, so dark that even one of the blessed seraphim could not see a hand in front of there face. Being a seraphim Yuan was an expert on the subject of enhanced vision, and so he knew when something was dark. This room was dark, beyond dark. The shadows were a physical entity, a reflection of one man's all consuming grief. Drawing a symbol in the air a thin tongue of fire stroked the wick of the first candle. A lock of rich chestnut wound around the base of the candle, streaked with a hallow of yellow-gold the few red strands were blazing rubies in the candle light. The lock of hair was laced with protection spells it would neither burn, decay, be effected by the wax drippings, or lose it's color with age. There was a faint spicy scent about it, a teasing hint of the woman's smell, a bittersweet torment. The next candle was lit, at it's base, sealed in a droplet of wax were a few bits of green fur and a feather of the same hue. Kratos stroked the feather fondly, then lay the small wax bound bundle at the base of the candle, similar spells of preservation had been laid upon the bundle. At last came the sole unlit candle, the only candle with nothing underneath it. Yggdrasil had in the final hellish hours destroyed everything Kratos wasn't carrying upon him, and that had included any item that had any attachments to his son, Lloyd.

How bare and empty it looked, how lonely the golden light was as if fell on nothing.

"I'm sorry," Kratos muttered, to his son, the candle, who knew? Yuan gently gripped his friend's shoulder, offered what support he could. The auburn haired seraphim did nothing to respond to Yuan's touch, did not stir, only stared into the light till tears came, and slid down his cheeks unchecked. "I failed you, I swore I'd protect you and I failed. Did I lower my guard, was I struck down but not killed, was this out of my hands or did it come due to the lack of action on my part?" Kratos looked up with horrid empty eyes, so lost and alone it wrenched at Yuan's heart. "I don't remember, I want to, but there is this... wall in my mind blocking me. I claw at it until my hands are bloody and still nothing comes..."

The blue haired Seraph shivered at the burning need to remember in his fellow's eyes, to see the pain of not remembering. Yuan had said in the throes of his grief that he would do anything to forget, to embrace his lifeless state in full if it meant the pain would go away. Kratos had struck him for those words, dared to evoke Martel's name, roared at him that it was not what she would have wanted.

_"She won't care, she's dead!" Yuan screamed. _

_"If you do so you will have abandoned her, remembering may burn like Hell fires but it is nothing compared to not knowing! Not knowing is insanity it is the knowing that keeps us sane." _

"Kratos." Yuan ran his fingers through the man's hair, as Martel had done so long ago when the facade of cold indifference had finally shattered when they had stumbled upon the remains of a demon's feast. And while he didn't know it, Anna had stroked his hair like that, to sooth away the worries, the doubts. "They wouldn't want this of you, it's been a year Kratos and I can count the times you've left this room on one hand."

Kratos did not stir, seemed to be having a staring contest with the fire.

"The flame will burn down and smother amongst the wax no matter how you will it not too. It's not going to wither or rot or fall over while you stare at it."

"It should, everything beautiful I gaze at dies."

"What did you say to him? He came out of the room as pale as a sheet." Yuan said in an attempt to change subject, knowing to pursue that line of thought would be to have this meeting end in yet another screaming fight between the two of them.

"Nothing is between us..." Kratos' face was tinted a metallic hue in the golden light. "Origin did most of the talking." Kratos' lips curled into an awful smile. "He had a few choice words about the Yggdrasil's actions and made some very stern threats. If Yggdrasil steps over the line, acts against me or those I care for ever again even more power will be stripped from him."

"Even more power?" Yuan sat on one of the benches, his black cloak pooled about him, made him blend more in with the dark. "What did Origin do to Mi-"

"Mithos is dead." Kratos snapped, his voice more animated then it had been in almost a year. "He's been dead for four thousand years."

"Habit, I'm sorry." Yuan flushed, not that Kratos would see the mortal response, his eyes only for the altar. "What happened?"

"When Yggdrasil and Kvar changed Anna into..." Kratos took a deep shuddering breath at those words. It had taken Yuan years to even say the name of the man who had killed Martel and almost a decade before he could even say Martel's name. But then his extended grief might have been due to the extended lifespan. In soul Kratos was still much a human, still as abrupt as all of his specie, and not prone to holding onto something for a long span as an elf or half elf would. Come ten, twenty years and he would probably forget them. I was a disgusting human trait, but humans did disgust Yuan from time to time. "My fury was great, I… I think I went crazy." Clenching his hair Kratos gripped his own mane of auburn hair in a tight grasp. "We fled. She managed to remain herself… Then we were cornered, looking… crest…" A feverish glint came into his eyes, making Yuan wonder if Kratos was still a little crazy. "Yggdrasil and Kvar came, I fought them, the Desian troops, but they managed to catch us on the cliffs. Anna went over, Lloyd in her arms, bloody, so bloody and slashed up… she was trying to kill him. She told me to kill her and I hesitated, to save Lloyd I had to kill… in her death throes she went over and took him with her… Noishe tried to save Lloyd and was dragged over as well."

Yuan shivered, a suspicious burning was behind his eyes. He had not known Anna, but to see his brother like this after her death was heart wrenching. He'd feared as last time when Kratos had lost someone he loved that Yggdrasil would come and try to manipulate the broken man, force Kratos into a tangle of more lies. Yggdrasil had tried, had tried to get his fangs in, first with his offer to bring back Anna then yet again while Kratos had prayed in this strange chapel. Kratos had done the first defiance alone, nearly killed himself in the gesture, but his act of turning down the offer had been a slap in Yggdrasil's face. The second defiance had not come wholly from Kratos it seemed, Origin had been infuriated by Yggdrasil's actions, and had somehow lessoned Yggdrasil's power.

"What did Origin do?"

Kratos turned from the fire, the memories, and came back to the present. He let lose his hair, and a large chunk fell from his fingers and drifted to the ground. Oblivious to the minor self mutilation Kratos stared at Yuan with blood shot eyes.

"You talk as if you want to kill him, as if you want to know of some weakness of his so that you can kill him."

Yuan froze, shocked by Kratos' observation, it was accurate. Had he been that obvious or was Kratos only making a lucky guess? Yuan considered lying, but there were levels he could not sink to.

"If I did, would that be so bad a thing?"

Kratos smiled that horrid empty smile.

"It is not time, but he promised the time would be soon, before half a century runs it course will a chance be offered." Kratos shivered. "As with all things the death of Yggdrasil is not absolute, there is only one truth of this. If we fail there will be no second chance."

Yuan shivered at the dull finality in Kratos' voice.

"No chance?" Yuan chuckled weakly. "My friend there is always a chance, there is always hope."

"There will be no world to fight from of for if we fail." Kratos whispered. "And if we fail and I still have life within me I will rise my blade against Yggdrasil until I am little more then ash, little more then nothing, and that will be my final defiance. It will gnaw upon him for all eternity that he has failed to revert the world to nothing, my ashes will be that final futile defiance."

Kratos smiled that horrid grim smile, turned to the flames.

"Fifty years and then I can go home." Kratos whispered, stroking the lock of brown hair. "Be patient Anna… I will come…"

Kratos did not hear Yuan stand, did not hear Yuan leave. He reached under his tunic, and stroked the stone that throbbed in time with his heart. He closed his eyes, went still, and listened to her voice, her voice that was a soft whisper in the vaults of his mind. It was a pale comfort, a mere echo, but it was better then nothing. He would go home, as soon as his duty was complete.

It was pleasant to know that his duty would consist of trying to kill Yggdrasil when the monster was at his weakest. It was an answering of his bloodiest, darkest prayers. It would be the completion of Anna's quest as well as his own. It would be the keeping of a promise, the keeping of a final oath. And after words he could go home.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Kratos, where are you going?" Yggdrasil stood in his way, not the best place to be considering their rocky relationship. Kratos looked at that pale slip of a man, resisted the urge to draw his blade and try to cut him in half. He'd waited long enough for this, waited for suspicions to cool and anger to be forgotten by the angel over lord. He would wait no longer; ten years had been a long enough wait.

"My travels are of no concern to you."

"They are, I'm making them." Yggdrasil crossed his arms over his chest, a poor echo of his ex-mentor's motion of stubbornness.

"I am going to check on the Chosen." Kratos lied; he was surprised how easy it was. Don't give a damn about your own welfare and nothing was hard.

"Really? Well then I expect a full report on your return then."

Yggdrasil smirked, expecting the faint note of threat to cow his most rebellious of seraphim. Kratos didn't even blink, showed no signs of pleasure or annoyance that more work had been shoved onto him. Kratos showed little of anything these days, his lack of response was so extreme, so wildly different from the soul-less subservience that Yggdrasil got from his angels, that the Lord of Cruxis was worried. He would show nothing, he had nothing in him to show, he dully went from task to task with indifference that showed in his work and appearance. Yet underneath that there was a hint of fire, a flicker of something some thing under the ice coated eyes, and it was not a comforting sight. He had a feeling that Kratos was waiting, was waiting for something to happen and when it did Yggdrasil would get his answers.

"Move," Kratos said dully, "unless you want to come with me of course."

Even the sarcasm was absent, put in the words but with no real depth of feeling behind it.

"Kratos, I'm worried, are you still sick?" Yggdrasil dropped his arrogant pose since it was only them in the small chamber. His posture more suiting an anxious boy then the adult form he wore.

"A little, it will pass."

A fact, not a reassurance, Yggdrasil frowned.

"You're not mad at me are you?"

"There is nothing between us." Kratos whispered, he flexed his fingers in their royal purple gloves.

"What does that mean? It's all you've been saying to me."

"Exactly what it says Yggdrasil." The lord of Cruxis was firmly shoved aside. So unexpected the attack, so dispassionate was Kratos' expression while he was doing so Yggdrasil allowed himself to fall. He looked up, stared at Kratos and saw his success. He had finally made the stubborn man into a lifeless soulless being. Firmly Mithos told himself that the chill he was feeling was the thrill of accomplishment; he would not allow it to be anything else!

"Come back in a week." Mithos called, picking himself from the ground, he let the small insult go for now, after all Kratos was still sick. "I want that report when you get back!"

Kratos didn't seem to hear; he stepped onto the disk and in a flash of light disappeared.

Xxx xxx xxx

He rolled the rose in his hand, she had always favored red, and perhaps the richest hue of red came from the petals of a rose. He had found a spot in the woods where they had camped, one of the small places they had had one last sliver of pleasure together. Kissing the rose he lay it on the ground, knelt before it. On impulse he buried the very tip of the root.

As an angel of cruxis, he was a master of holy magicks, a power so pure that no mortal souls could grasp it. He had shed his mortality, gained a body that could endure the strain of such power after being all but baptized in the life vein of the scalding hot mana that had shaped the world while the gem on his chest had served as a filter. It kept him from dying but had not kept the power from ripping at him, burning his soul, sculpting him in its image… So long ago, he was the first, and last to be completely immersed in the alien power that Yggdrasil had studied and dubbed angelic mana. His promises had been thus; with this power they could save Martel, save the worlds, transcend the limits of time and access ultimate power and bring an age of peace and light to the worlds. And all promises had turned to lies

Because of that ritual he had undergone he had become a master of holy magicks, of life itself, he put both hands against the cold earth, a coldness he could no longer feel. Words fell from his lips, an archaic prayer of life from his village now lost under the waves under the might of a mana driven typhoon. A typhoon Yggdrasil had summoned to teach him a lesson. The plant shivered, it was a mere clipping, a dead thing, its life was small though and therefore easy to coax from the dark of Death. A plant had a spirit, and it too was easy to coax from the dark of Death, he did not want to make a lifeless plant after all, such a thing would not be beautiful, and would die at the first harsh turn of weather. He called, and for such a small thing death submitted with little contest. The earth around the rose shivered, writhed even as roots dug, spread about his hands like a spider's web and dug down. The plant grasped the earth in wooden fingers, in a tight grip, and even as the roots greedily snatched at the nutrient rich ground the leaves sprung out from their sheaths of wood and spread. Crimson buds spread wide, like red stars they opened, a wild variety of shades of red. He smiled, thinking for the first time in years that _she_ would have loved to see this and not crippled from pain from that thought. But then in a way she was seeing, through him. She lived through him now; he lived only for her memory, only for the oath she extracted from him. When his duty was complete he would free himself from this world, let the dark of death take him, and his last prayer as the great shadow took him was the he would never come back.

He breathed in the scent of the flowers, gently took one of the full blooms in his hands and breathed in its scent even as his fingers stroked the smooth petals.

A voice humming off tune made him jolt back to awareness. His wings shivered out of his back, he grunted in pain at their completely unplanned emergence. He kicked of the ground and flapped to the solace of a tree, leaving a red rain behind him that caught on the petals of the flower he had been admiring earlier. From his perch he could not see everything below, only slivers, he wanted to shove the branches aside, but only their tangled mass hid the damning light of his wings.

"Wow that wasn't there before!" A boy's voice chirped.

"I bet it was." Came a high pitched voice of a young child, Kratos' heart clenched at the sound. "And you didn't see it."

"Shut up Genis! I know this place inside and out and no roses ever grow here!"

"Well they're here now." Came a girls voice, Kratos squirmed around in his perch and saw a slip of a child in white with gold hair. He stiffened, he knew this child from somewhere… "Oh I know I bet the angels brought it here! It's so pretty, and angels can make things grow real pretty like that."

How ironic that her guess was right, and even as she guessed and showed her devotion he knew her.

Not truly seeking the Chosen it seemed as if he had stumbled upon her by purest accident.

"Let's see… I think from the shape of the blooms and the…"

"He's gunna give it one of those weird looong names now." The boy who had spoken first whispered to the girl, he could see neither of the boys, only the Chosen.

"It's called a scientific name; it's a universal title that all cultures acknowledge."

"It's called a mouthful, a tongue twister, and boring!"

"If you actually showed some curiosity in something intellectual maybe when people say words longer then two syllables your eyes wouldn't glaze!"

"Wha?"

"See you just proved me right!" Genis' voice grew cheerful.

"Well I'm glad you're happy Genis!" Colette chirped, clapping her hands together.

From the sanctuary of his hiding place Kratos rolled his eyes, perhaps he could persuade Yuan to do the journey, if this was any indication of the Chosen's intelligence Kratos was going to firmly shove the job on Yuan's shoulders…

"Umm.. Why do I think that wasn't a compliment?"

"It's so pretty, why don't we name the bush?" The Chosen smiled, obviously liking the idea. "I like cochie!"

"Cochie?" Genis muttered.

"She had a dog by that name." The other boy whispered as way of explanation. "She names everything that."

"Ohh… Umm how about red rose bush?" Genis offered.

"Huh… You know I'm bad with names, forget it!" Came the older boy's protest. Kratos caught a hint of red from between the branches, the boy was clad in red, but he could see little else before the child backed out of his range of vision.

"Come on, name the bush!"

"Err Kra-tarn Ar-nnar?"

"Oh is that dwarvish?"

"Weren't you supposed to be giving me dwarvish lessons?"

"Umm… when'd I promise that?"

"Don't try to weasel out of it, you promised!"

"Scary you sound like Raine."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"What's it mean!" Colette asked, yelling to be heard over the boys' childish cries.

"Kra is flight, Tarn is holy or special, Ar is great, and Nnar is the word for every type of plant except mushrooms."

"flight holy great plant?" Genis asked, sounding confused.

The red clad boy laughed; obviously the smart child's expression was as humorous as the tone of bafflement was.

"Dwarves don't believe in angels, so they don't have a word for them. So holy flight could kind of mean holy flying person, angels do fly right?"

Kratos' wings twitched as he fought down the sudden urge to yell 'yes, they do fly!'

"Well maybe Ar-sagwai-nnar would be better then Ar-Nnar, sagwai would tell the color."

"So sagwai's red?"

"_No_," There was an annoyed sigh. "And don't ever say sagwais again, it's a really bad word and your sister and my dad would feed us soap for like a thousand years if they ever heard you use it. Sagu is red, you change "u" to "w" to when adding the plural indicator of "ai" to descriptive words, unless the preceding letter is of the alpha congegati-"

" Wow you're really smart to know all this dwarf stuff!"

"Heh, well I guess being son of a dwarf is pretty nifty sometimes."

"Niffty?"

"Shut it Genis!"

"Well I guess it is kinda cool." Genis chuckled. "I mean it means he knows something at least."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"So then, sagwai is many reds?" The Chosen asked after thinking about it for a long while.

"Yep."

"I like sagwai, it's pretty and fits! How about Derriyas Sagwai and then we can have something in ellafish!"

"So we all name the plant, I like it!"

"It's el_vish_ Colette, hmm what's Derriyas mean?"

"Miracle."

"OK I got it, Deriyas Sagwai Raseiva!"

"Roo seev ah?"

"You roll the "r" and the second e is pronounced like "eh"." The boy named Genis corrected. "It means crimson passion, which is the elvish name for rose."

"It's so pretty, I like or name, but for short let's call it Cochie!"

Both boys sighed as one never knowing that from the branches Kratos joined them in their sighing.

"Whatever you say Colette," the red clad boy sighed as the Chosen skipped out of his range of his sight in the general direction of Iselia. "Uh oh, there are wolves around here, hold it Colette it's not sa- Ah shit, if she's attacked by monsters do you know what Frank's gunna do to me!"

"I'd be more worried about Dirk…" The child named Genis pointed out.

"Dad'll kill me! Colette wait up!" There was the sound of feet tearing across the earth.

"You know, I'd almost say you are new, that you were just plunked here. The soils all churned up. Wow this is fascinating I wonder if I should take a samp…"

Kratos muttered a spell, feeling a protective feeling for Anna's plant. He'd tolerated the naming as it was a harmless past time, but he would not stand having some clumsy child hack at it with a knife to conduct research. A wind stirred, made the branches by the trees seem to reach out, the breeze caught in a hollowed log some distance and made a spectacular howling noise.

With a loud scream of terror as the plant in the clearing seemed to become mallovent evil things with howling voices, the child named Genis ran back to his friends, his voice piping about how he had heard a horrible demon trapped in the trees screaming that it was going to eat him.

"A demon cool, let's go check it…"

"No! I wanna go home, now!"

"Oh fine. Chicken!"

"Am not a ch… chicken!"

"Bawk bawk bawk ba baw bawwwk!"

"Wow Lloyd you're really good at acting like a chicken."

"He..he's had practice."

"Shut it!"

Kratos stopped breathing; his body trembled at the sound of that name. His first impulse was to scramble out of the tree glide ahead of the children and intercept them on the trail. He felt a slight touch in his mind, no in the area, a sweeping search that had Yggdrasil's presence laced through it. Damn it, he'd been gone all of eight days and the brat was looking for him already! Sheathing his wings he used the residue mana to make a mask, to hide his physical appearance with false features. The air about him shivered and a few minuets later a somewhat pudgy man in white robes of a Martel priest shimmied down the tree, the man had sky blue eyes, and slick black hair with a bit of a beard. The beard however was illusion not real, and physical touch would reveal the truth to any with eyes. He had not changed himself, thought he could have with the power of the cruixs crystal, but that would have made him flare with angelic mana and for all intents and purposes set of a beacon for Yggdrasil to follow.

Toying around with the idea of running after them he discarded it, tapping his foot in impatience he realized that he was going to just have to wait. Well if the 'demon' had interested the boy he'd probably come back here before heading home. It wasn't a long wait the boy came back, aknife and sling rattled against his legs as he ran. Kratos shivered, suppressed the first instinct to go to the child and hold him. Caution, fear, held him back. He stared at the child, and the child's dark brown eyes swept over him and stared at his robes with a hint of disgust. Rubbing a hand through his sweaty brown hair the boy, about fourteen, stared and Kratos returned it. He could see Anna in this child and hints of himself. It couldn't be, it was impossible, and yet, here before him…

He suppressed the tears, the hopes, and stared, so over whelmed that he could not speak.

"Okay… I'm gunna take the long way home now…" The boy backed up a few steps.

"Wait!" Kratos croaked, thankful that he had the foresight to mask his voice as well. It was much deeper then his norm, a low rumbling baritone. "I'm… looking for someone."

"Un huh… Well Iselia's that a way." The brown haired boy pointed to the town. "I'm sure you can find whoever you're looking for there…"

Kratos was cornered, the suggestion was reasonable, and if he pressed he'd scare the child off.

"I'm looking for a child named Lloyden Aurion." Kratos whispered, his eyes neverleaving that child's face.

"Lloyden… look I'm sorry I don't know a Lloyden…" The boy cringed under the intensity of the stare that was following his every move. "My name is Lloyd Irving OK, not Lloyden Aurion. Look I hope you find who you're looking for but my name's Lloyd."

Kratos shivered, his soul shivered at the sound of his child's name being spoken by the child before him. He could feel Yggdrasil's attention focusing on Iselia, he had only a few moments before the angel child would be attracted to this place. He dared not stay, if Yggdrasil spotted him here… But he had questions, hundreds of questions to ask, if he evoked his sight he would be able to see the truth for certain for this could just be a twisted coincidence…

The sun light seemed brighter; a chill wind came from the summer skies. Dread filled him, he could feel Yggdrasil's physical presence. Damn it, he had to get the boy out of here and fast. Lloyd though it seemed was sensitive to the mana coming at them, he shivered and looked to the sky in fear. Smart boy, Kratos smiled grimly, feeling despite himself a thin bit of pride.

"Run boy!" Kratos barked in his altered voice. "Run and in the name of all the true god's don't look back!"

"But…"

"Go!" Kratos roared. "I'll be safe enough, run!"

Nodding Lloyd did as ordered.

Gods oh gods just five more minutes, I would have known for certain why in hell fires couldn't I be granted that much!

Down from the heavens, bathed in the light of his power glided Yggdrasil, Kratos, still wearing the guise of the priest curled his lips and bared his teeth. Eyes mere slits the Master of the Seraphim did not bother to touch the corrupted earth with his bare feet, would not suffer the taint of earth to touch him. Kratos was dusty from kneeling in the earth, a few leaves were tangled in his hair and the bark was still a phantom roughness under his hands. In his cold and impersonal death Yggdrasil stared down at him, and fury his own, from the crystal, and from _Origin,_ pounded against his self control. A shame Yggdrasil didn't touch the earth, it would have bucked heaved, and probably thrown him off his feet.

"Kratos, you are late."

Kratos said nothing, met the gaze, and with all the anger in him could not keep from seething in his eyes.

"Your presence is required in Derris Kharlan."

Kratos bared his teeth, snarled, a physical primal sound that was a pale reflection of his rage.

"My you have sunk low! Do you roll over, do tricks of yet?"

"Shut the hell up Yggdrasil." Kratos whispered, casting aside the illusion and drew his wings.

_Now?_ He begged Origin in the silences of his mind.

_Less then five years_. Came the response that was more growl then words

"I wonder, just how suitable are you for the Regeneration Journey?"

That was a threat that froze Kratos' blood. He knew Yggdrasil was going to consume every second of his time, he was to train the guardian angel, he was to gather the final reports on the chosen, arrange the oh so convenient demise of the priests.

The only "free" time he would have would be during the journey, Yggdrasil would see to that. The only time he was going to have to go to Iseila would be during the journey, he could wait, would have to wait until then to see this Lloyd again and find out if it was _his_ Lloyd. He dare not lose the rights to this journey, for the sight of the boy had sparked a hope he had feared to hold, but now it had caught, and the journey would be an excellent excuse to search…

"Dare you use anyone else. Admit it Yggdrasil, those pawns of yours don't have the intelligence to serve as guardians, they don't know how to hide what they are, over half can't even draw in their wings."

"Can you hide what you are?"

"Anna did not know what I was for months, I could have kept it up for years had I not confessed for when we spoke of it after she told me she never suspected. And you know what she was to me, how intimate our relationship was, if I can hide what I am from my lover then a child should be no small feat."

"Yuan can do much the same." Yggdrasil pointed out coolly.

"Could he? You and I both know the second the child starts praying to Martel he'll lose it."

Yggdrasil glared at him.

"Once I praised you, though you were vulgar you got my attention and things went for the better for Cruxis. I reprimand you one last time for your tongue, next time you exercise it in a way I find offensive it will be removed."

Kratos smirked, looked up at Yggdrasil.

"I am not your servant."

"You labor under my cause."

"I labor under my own, I haven't had anything to do with your cause for years and if you would ever pay attention you'd have seen that Yuan's support of you has tapered off these last few decades."

Yggdrasil looked uncertain, hesitant, and weak, it was a pleasant sight, one Kratos hoped to see much more of.

"You said you forgave me!"

"I never said that." Kratos growled, his wings flapping, in his mind he prayed the child had gotten far away from here. "I never said that." Kratos whispered, his mind aflame. "You've lost everything haven' you Yggdrasil? Your sister, your brothers… How does it feel to sit on that throne amongst the stars surrounded by all that you've destroyed? No wonder you want the world to be as nothing, you are still a child wanting the world to reflect back you and only you, and that's all that's left in you _nothing_."

Yggdrasil trembled, his expression much like a man who was having an enemy twist a knife in their gut.

"Return to Derris Kharlan," came a stilted reply from pale bloodless lips.

"On my time, not yours." Kratos hissed.

"I gave you an order."

"I do not follow you boy, I follow me, my cause, my plans, _you_ are my tool. It is not the other way around anymore."

"You've become brave, tell me what's in Iselia that has sparked it? Should I perhaps go raze the town?"

Kratos smiled, looked at Yggdrasil with dead eyes.

"Zelos Wilder's body would be a poor habitation for your sister. Can you imagine her trapped in a man's body, much less a man with that kind of appetite? The experience of those memories might even unhinge Martel's mind."

Shrieking a word of power Yggdrasil raised a hand and summoned a fireball, Kratos grimly stepped in front of the bush he had made for Anna and caught the projectile. He damped it, closed his hands over it and the power faded to nothingness.

"Try my patience just one more time and I swear I'll release Origin right now."

Yggdrasil sneared, lifted his gaze to the heavens and he could hear the words that were once denied his hearing.

_Origin does he speak the truth? Origin, answer me! _

_Keeper of the seal and soul of the pact._ Kratos stiffened at the title whispered into his mind. _What would pain him most? _

_He must not know that I can' release the seal yet. _

_Agreed, but what lies to speak that will cause the most pain? _

_His pain is your pain._ Kratos protested weakly.

_As is yours mine. _

Kratos mentally reeled at the idea of a God sharing his life's pains with him, Origin then knew of… everything!

_There are some things I didn't particularly seek 'enlightenment' on, certain aspects of yourrelationship with your wife for example. I only know as much as you would feel comfortable in me knowing. Now answer me before he suspects. _

_Let him, let him know that you answer my questions, speak to me, let him see his control slid away. The idea that the world will not revolve about him will be like a knife in the back. _

_Agreed._ Origin chuckled, then his voice grew louder, a warning of sorts for Kratos. _He may break the seal whenever he wishes where ever he wishes. _

_Then I don't have to fly to Heimdal? That's good to know Great One. _

Yggdrasil sputtered, his eyes so wide when they fell on Kratos that the seraph half expected them to roll from that skull.

"Something wrong Yggdrasil?" Kratos asked innocently, acting for all the world like a third rate gleeman but loving every second of it.

"You hate me, you all hate me don't you?"

"Once, while Anna was alive, I might have felt your pain. I might have sympathized or she might have made me come to realize that my feelings were stemmed from the grief of losing you to your ambitions." Kratos whispered, dropping the act. "I will speak to you one last time as your teacher and give you one final lesson Mithos."

Yggdrasil looked up at him, with tears in his eyes. Tears held behind crystal hued eyes, trapped behind those eyes, for Yggdrails could never shed a single tear. He had destroyed that ability in himself to cry, which made it all the more tragic.

"The world is not lost, hope is not lost, you are still not committed to this path in full so there is still hope. Have you thought of the pain you cause, the agony you've wrecked upon the innocent? Your enemies have died, all of them have died millennia ago. What s the essence of vengeance Pupil?"

"Chaos, death, destruction." Mithos whispered, the old lessons the old forms their blood bond coming back to them both as it still had a place to fit in them both.

"What is the place of vengeance, Pupil?"

"In the hands of those whom perceive that justice has failed."

"Why do you hold the blade of vengeance in your hands?"

"Justice has failed." Yggdrasil hissed, his eyes burning with rage. "Where was justice when Martel died, where was salvation when she died, what use does love serve when it's dead?"

"Love is not dead." Kratos whispered. "One love, we have both lost that now. In that we could become closer then ever for now I understand the pain of your loss." Kratos reached out grabbed Mithos' arm. "This is all we ever had, everything else was as nothing. As your brother I call out one last time for I see the waters closing over you. Not solely do I call to you in my name, but in Martel's, Anna's, and my sons name, I would save you for them and for you."

Yggdrasil looked at him, the tears that would never fall, that could never fall.

He took a step back, and Kratos stood, watched and waited.

"You cling to me, covered in mortal filth, groveling at _my_ feet! You have a lot of nerve _teacher_."

"I stand on my own two legs Yggdrasil." Kratos sighed. "Farewell Mithos."

"What, where do you think you are going!"

"I have no need to explain myself to you." Kratos whispered.

"You are my servant!"

Kratos turned on his heel, looked to the sun and kicked off the earth, his wings fanning about him, breaking him from thegrasp of the earth. Power crackled between Yggdrasil's fingers, he sent a bolt of light after him, but it dissipated, thinned out, and weakened to nothing before his target could even be aware of the attack. His power was draining out of him, he was still strong, stronger then them all, but the power of the Gods faded from him.

"Origin, do not forsake me!" He screamed. "You have sworn an oath to me!"

_I made my oath to Mithos, not to Yggdrasil. While I am constrained to keep it in part, for you are one in the same, that which I freely offered I am now free to take back._

"Origin!" Yggdrasil shrieked, his wings stilled and he clawed at the earth, pounded upon it like the youngest of child in the throes of a tantrum. "Answer me! Damn you, damn you all!"

Panting and cursing he found his feet, stared at the plant and lifted a hand.

"This is your fault all your fault you bitch! You made him betray me, even in death you make him betray me!"

A wind stirred the entangled branches of the rosebush; it seemed to shiver in fear of him, as it should, as all things should!

"Die, burn, burn in Hell as all you mortal sins take you there by the judgment of my hands!"

A bolt of light smashed into the plant, it quietly sat, absorbed the light, and glowed with a golden radiance when the angelic mana faded. There was a 'crack', the earth stirred under the plant, as the roots strove down the leaves seemed to spiral up like a great tower, the roses opened like brilliant suns. The light, the star's light, he cringed away from it, shrieking mad profanities he scrambled across the dusty road fouling his white tunic and pants. The great Lord of Cruxis, King of Heaven, Creator of Angels and the Order of Light fled the sun light, the star light, he fled the light and even as the shadows cringed away from him, even as the earth spurned him and the winds smote him. He ran through the Iselian words coming upon no one, screaming mad oaths that carried on his own foul winds and echoed on the trees sounding like an unholy choir. Never knowing that in this fit of acute madness, the time when Mithos died in full, would spring the most horrid tales of demons running through the woods. The echoes of his cries distorted by time and space reached the walls of Iselia, lapped upon the peace of the Chosen's home like a black omen, and made Iselia woods a forsaken place. It would serve only as a home to two daring heathens who feared neither dark not light. And even the evil Desian's, gluttons feeding on the suffering of their human foes would refuse to take one step out of their ranch at night. Even Forcystus himself, ancient warrior, proudly sporting a Desian crown coated in the blood of his foes, would dare not take step outside his ranch after sun set.

If there is one to have said to benefit it was a child and his protozoan companion, who could walk the quiet woods at night and fear no attack by Desian and enjoy the stars that graced the night sky.


	8. Destined Meeting

No, it's not over yet, and my review response (I've been too busy in class to email you guys so I'll be going back to my old practices) will be on the bottom of this chapter.

Chapter 8

The second and destined meeting

He sighed, considered the starry sky, he had been camped out here in the wilds by himself for a week now. The time was near, so Yggdrasil had told him. Yet another lie it seemed. But then Yggdrasil was the master of lies, and as one of his Seraphim so too was Kratos. He stared at the dull bellies of the clouds, the whole world seemed a dull gray, and it would clear up come tomorrow of course. It would occur even if the angels had to waste huge quantities of mana to push those clouds away. Symbolism, it all came down to symbolism. They would not want it to rain now would they, for the rain would be steel hued in the angelic light, and like steel it would leave bloody gouge marks on the clay rich ground. The sky as filled with the grey bellies of the clouds, there was a golden span touched by the rising sun, a golden tear amongst the steel plats. From that, falling from the heavens came, not golden light, but a soft blue radiance. It was as if the true sky were falling from the heavens, and not the false light. And while most in the village of Iselia saw the storm as an ill omen he looked to that golden span and smiled, admired the beauty, a wild untamed beauty that none in the village could enjoy, that none of the truly devout could enjoy.

Perhaps he was the only one in all this world that looked up at the heavens and smile that day.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Come on!" Lloyd all but dragged a hesitant Genis up the stairs with his words and enthusiasm. "Something's going on and I wanna see what it is!"

Colette was leading for once, outstripping Lloyd, her eyes locked on the light of heaven. Genis whimpered, ran up the stairs, his eyes focused on his friends, his mind lost in his fear of what was above. Out of all of them only Lloyd was really looking around. He could have bet good gald he saw movement in the bushes, there was something there, looking at him.

"Hey Genis did you see…"

"Come on Lloyd, Colette's getting ahead."

"Just a wolf right? Yeah, it's just a wolf." He reassured himself, telling himself he hunted and fought wolves for the people of Iselia all the times so one more wasn't a big thing.

Genis tugged on his sleeve, for once Lloyd was slowing him down, normally it was the other way around.

"Hold on, I'm coming!" Lloyd rubbed the bandages around his arm, his ex-sphere was tingling up a storm. They pounded up the stairs, bits of smoking meat, animal meat he lied to sooth Genis, littered the walk way. The priests were all dead, Gods above damn the Desian's Colette would be next if he didn't do something! "Like Hell Colette's next! No one hurts her while I'm around, not Ivan, not some stinking Desian dogs, no one you hear me!" He growled as he turned another bend, on the winding path marked with weird wooden steps. The steps were so infrequent it was like tan scales on a snake in molt. He leapt over the sprawled out corpse of a priest that lay on one of the broad dust 'landing platforms' kept going, until he realized Genis had stopped. He bent down, picked up his younger friend, and carried him like he would a little kid. "Don't think about it, just keep running, don't stop." Lloyd gasped, when he put Genis down, he had to put him down because three landings later he was getting tired.

"Don't stop, keep running." Genis whimpered, his eyes filled with terror. Lloyd who lived less then three miles away from the ranch could sometimes on a bad night hear the screams was hardened to this a bit. He'd listened to the screams and on some warm days could smell the scent of a slaughter house. To go to school he'd walk by the ranch, less then a mile, and there were times when he just couldn't go because of the horrible sounds he heard. You didn't think of it at the moment, forced yourself to keep going, but it'd come back later, in your nightmares if you were at all humane. Grunting Lloyd looked at the path, it went to the west spiraled up and then went to the east, back and forth, the path was the easiest route, but not the fastest. He looked up and on the higher reaches of the trail could see a flash of white.

"Shit how can she run that fast? She hasn't tripped at all!"

"It's serious! She doesn't trip when it's serious unless it's a lucky trip." Genis puffed, his smaller legs were going twice as fast to keep up with Lloyd's pace.

"Forget this!" Lloyd veered off the trail, went to the steep climb that was topped with stairs. With a trail that he could glimpse when he craned his head up. Numbly Genis followed, not even seeing more proof of another fallen priest. The wizard came back to himself as silver blue light ran across Lloyd's left hand. At that sight Genis paled, Lloyd never used his ex-sphere except once when Ivan had nearly killed them both. Lloyd knelt, his hands pressed against the earth, his legs bent as he crouched, looking much like a frog. "On my shoulders!" Lloyd barked, eyes glittering weirdly as the ex-sphere's power boiled in him. Shivering Genis did as ordered, and when Lloyd leapt held on for dear life. He managed not to scream when they made the first wall in one jump, but when Lloyd made the second wall by kicking off of a boulder Genis couldn't keep it in. He gripped Lloyd's head, covering the eyes and wailed as they made it over the third wall and landed behind Colette, or rather Lloyd fell behind Colette and Genis tumbled from his shoulders. Luckily the screams were covered by the flashes of light and roars of thunder. Whimpering Genis crouched on the 'road' Lloyd lay sprawled out, the light of his ex-sphere having gone out.

"Now I know how a flea feels…" Lloyd croaked, Colette went to him, forgot about the light and helped him stand, or more likely lean against the last wall of the path. "We… told you… to wait for… us…" Lloyd panted. "You shouldn't... run… ahead… dangerous…"

"I'm sorry, are you alright?"

"Fine…" Lloyd smiled, despite all the Desian's nearby Colette looked always the same. Determined but calm, he liked that look on her, it suited her. Panting his stared at her dumbly, she was really pretty in her white vest and tunic with that glossy white fabric making those neat symbols. She looked nice in white, other people may have thought it was a dumb color but he liked it, it brought out her endless blue eyes… Mentally shaking himself for thinking weird things Lloyd pulled away from the wall. "Hey Genis, you OK?"

"I'm alright…" The small elf wizard dredged up a smile. "As long as every one else is alright I'm fine."

"You should stay here, it's dangerous! I'm supposed to receive the oracle of the Goddess and…"

"Not alone you aren't!" Lloyd growled, "And if the angels have a problem with me going with you they can send one of the souperfins after me or something."

"Seraphim." Colette corrected with a giggle.

"Whatever." Lloyd shrugged. "you know I'm not all churchy.. umm religosar and stuff."

Genis laughed, Lloyd was yet again playing dumb for them and it helped against the fear a little.

"You think you're going to stop me from going in to the temple where all those interesting religious murals and carvings and artifacts are." Genis grinned, "I'm going too!"

"We stick together, best friends forever." Lloyd pulled off his glove so they could see the small scar where they'd all brought their hands together and shared blood. "Nothing changes that!"

"Thanks." Colette smiled at them, her eyes glittering, with tears? No, Colette never cried, why would she now? Genis shrugged it off, looked up at the path, the last bend.

"Shh, everything's gotten really quiet!"

Lloyd frowned, pushed Colette behind him and they all pressed against the earthen wall and listened.

"Where is the Chosen of Mana?"

"I will tell you nothing Demon!"

"Tough old hag aren't ya?"

"Gra-" Lloyd snapped a hand over Colette's mouth even as Genis snapped two hands over his.

They all looked at each other, Phadria was up there, and she was in danger. They couldn't walk away from that, she was like the whole towns grandmother.

"Genis take Colette back, I'll rescue attack the Desian's and rescue Phadria and we'll meet you at the base of the path."

"By yourself!" Genis protested between his spread fingers, opening his hands so that he could squeak a whisper between his slender digits.

Lloyd tapped his ex-sphere, winked, and Genis rolled his eyes.

"Sir, did you hear that?"

Genis hissed a word that if Raine had ever heard him say would of guaranteed a life time of eating soap. It was a word Lloyd had taught him, and Genis would say that the second Raine heard him using it. There was a crunch of boot across earth coming closer, sand trickled from above and fell on Lloyd's head. Whimpering Genis tried to blend in with the wall, taking Colette's hand so she hid with him. They pressed against one of the concaves of the wall, a mini cliff that while not too deep was enough of a place for two small people to hide if they held their breath. Lloyd for all intents and purposes to the sneering Desian was alone on the path, an unarmed would be hero.

"What do we have here, a little kid? Go run crying to your mommy brat!"

Not the thing to say to Lloyd, _defiantly_ not the thing to say to Lloyd. That juvinale insult hit an all mighty sensitive nerve. Genis had seen Ivan say those words to a battered Lloyd, and watched in horror as his friend would ignore his wounds and get up to beat the heck out of the bully. Lloyd growled, charged, and smashed the Desian against the stone side of the small mountain. There was a grunt, the man tried to wrench free, Lloyd smashed the man into the rock, dazed him, and delivered a punch to the underside of the man's jaw. The Desian's head whipped back, he slumped against the stone and Lloyd let the man drop.

"Let her go!" Lloyd growled, flexing his throbbing knuckles, the Desian had had a thick skull.

"Well this child certainly isn't the Chosen, unless they went for ugly this time. Don't you think so mi' Lord Botta?"

"Aruk, shut up." The man dubbed Botta looked at Lloyd. The Desian Lord wore kingly robes of white, silver bracers, and could have been mistaken for a warrior priest for his pure colored garb. He stroked his short beard, considered the child before him. "We want no more deaths, tell us where the Chosen is and we will let the old woman go."

"I'm not going to tell you filthy Desian's anything." Lloyd growled. "You'll let Phadria go, because if you don't I'll kick all of your assess."

"I bow to such bravery, if more possessed it this world might be a better place, but brave or not you will die. Aruk, Sysn, deal with him."

"Oh shit!"

There was a flash of light, a few crackling sounds, and Lloyd's loud profanities and a yalp pain. Genis honestly was going to do as Lloyd had asked and take Colette away but Colette who was much taller and stronger then him had other ideas. He was dragged up the final bend and got to watch as Lloyd hopped over a lightning bolt and swung his sword over his head and smashed it into the Desian's head as he landed. The man fell to the ground without a moan.

Wiggling his fingers Genis called the fire, he called it from the light of the sun, the heat of is own body, of that of his friends and having the fuel he stoked it with his anger and inner strength. Three blobs of fire materialized and one smashed into the swordsman slipping behind Lloyd, the other was cut in half by the large white robed Desian, and the last went into the temple from inside there was a howl of pain.

"Opps…" Genis gulped.

"Uh oh... that sounded bad." Colette looked nervous.

"Commander Vidarr, if you'd be so good as to join us, your presence is needed!" The man named Botta quipped. "It looks like our target has brought herself to us, so if it wouldn't be too much trouble to stop looting the kitchen and come out here for five minuets…"

"Umm sir… the old woman?"

"Oh let her go, we don't need her anymore." Botta waved a hand dismissevly at Phadria. The woman's guards let her go with obvious relief, one of them pulling off a glove to look mournfully at the bite mark on his hand and wrist.

"Tough old woman…" One of the guards grumbled. "Are you sure you want us to help Sysn?"

Sysn was having Lloyd beat and then some, Lloyd was having to back up from the man's swings, dared not counter, because the Desian was better trained at fighting then he was.

"Fireball!" Genis chirped, Lloyd rolled to the hard right and the Desian was for the second time rolling around on the ground trying to damp the flames.

"What do you think?" Botta sighed. "Why did I allow our Lord to talk me into bloodying the lot of you imbeciles up? They are children for the Gods sake and already two of you are down!"

"They have a freaking wizard…" Grumbled one of the Desian's drawing his sword.

"A fire wizard…" Growled the other Desian, unslung a crossbow from his back.

"Cyan, entertain the swordsman, Urth aim for the magi when he is ready to cast his spells."

Botta began to give a serious of ordered, telling the men how to wear out the children, sparing a glance for the temple every now and then for the elusive Vidarr to show up. He should have been looking behind him. Picking herself up from the earth Phadria saw her grandchild fighting against two demonic beings, saw their leader, and more importantly saw that her grandchild and Genis and Lloyd were losing to those monsters. She hefted her staff, slipped behind the man and grimly brought it down on the Desian's head. He stiffened, the sword that was clearing it's way out of it's sheath slid from numb fingers and fell to the earth. Botta's steel hued eyes stared at nothing with utmost attention, then glazed as the staff hit him again and again. After the third attack he slumped over, more out cold then a Katz on kat-nip potion.

Without their orders the novice swordsmen and archer were beaten and ran off after a few well placed fire spells.

"Guys! You were supposed to run!" Lloyd panted, rubbing his nicked side and wondering how the heck he was going to explain the blood and slashes in his dwarven clothes to Dad.

"And leave you behind, first you go through all that heck of coming after Colette when she'd in danger and then you tell us to run when you go in danger. Don't be such a hypocrite Lloyd!"

"I'm not a… what ever you called it!"

"Grandma!" Colette ran past them, ran past the downed Desian who lay amongst bits of a broken staff, and hugged the old woman.

"Oh Chosen, sweaty, you are alright, I was so worried!"

"I was worried too, are you alright, those bad men didn't hurt you did they!"

"I'm sorry for worrying you dear, but you know I'm more then capable of taking care of myself!"

"Well I'm sorry for this, it was because of me the Desian's attacked…"

"Oh don't be sorry sweaty, not for that, I'm sorry for making you feel bad and…"

"So that's where she gets it from…" Lloyd muttered, watching the "I'm sorry" and "I love you" chain go on and on.

"Ten years later…" Genis grumbled.

"Be nice!" Lloyd smacked the small elf on the back of his head.

"Why'd you have to "Raine" me?" Genis wailed.

"Because Raine would have if she was here." Lloyd grumbled, "I get this feeling like I'm forgetting something…"

There was a roar from the Chapel, an animal grunt and grumble.

Taking her Grandmother's hand in her own Colette ran from the doors of the Chapel. A huge Desian, his face smeared with red, his armor covered in red liquid, and his lips ringed in black looked at them eyes wide under his poor fitting helm.

"Oh my Goddess, he ate the priests!" Genis wailed. "He's going to eat us next!"

Actually he hadn't eaten one slab of meat, there had been a certain alluring smell in the kitchens that had caught his attention. Vidarr had wandered out of the main room of the Chapel, telling his commander that he was going to look in the kitchen for… priests who might be hiding there. Botta knew his man, rolled his eyes, and told him to save something for the men when he got done. Grinning ear to ear like a little kid being told he could go play Vidarr had skipped through the halls, clanging up a storm, and the noise had attracted some monster. Rather insulted by the animal he had killed the spider with a well placed kick, and had made himself at home. The red was the juice of a half eaten melon and the black 'priest flesh' was the remains of a completely devoured chocolate cake.

"Huh?" The thing… way too big to be called a human… looked at Genis dumbly. "what's goin' on…"

He looked to see his commander down, his allies down, and then set his gaze onto Lloyd who was the only one, as far as he could see, armed.

"You killed Botta!" The thing roared, his huge frame though blurred with fat was impressive. He wore a tight fitting chain mail from which his belly pooched out from. He covered those spots with bits of plate armor tied to him by a series of chains crisscrossing his body. He wore no protection on his arms or legs, but considering the width could have easily been half of a Lloyd they would need axes to probably even draw blood on the thing. In his arms, holding a hammer bigger then Lloyd was in height, a weapon meant for two hands, the Desian wielded it in one.

"Colette… start running…" Lloyd whispered, eyes going wide as those pebbly eyes slid onto him with hate in their depths. Not hearing feet moving Lloyd gathered the last of his courage. "Colette, Genis, get Phadria out of here, NOW!"

"No we aren't leaving you!" Colette drew her strange ring like weapons.

"Run!" He barked. "I'll get you as much time as I can!"

Lloyd spun his swords in his hands nervously. The monster like man charged, his huge waddling steps must of set the earth to shaking, roaring the Deisan lifted his hammer and Lloyd barely managed to get out of the way. When the hammer lifted, dropping bits of ground up earth, Lloyd would have sworn there was a crater three inches deep in the ground. There was a whistle, a hiss of chain and something else cutting through the air. Lloyd managed to roll aside and right where he had been was an spiked orb linked to a chain, the orb was like Genis' size! Pain ran across his hand, his ex-sphere was shedding a brilliant blue light. Lifting a hand to shield his eyes Vidarr staggered back a step, Lloyd smashed his blades wildly, and while he could feel the warmth of the stones power coursing through him he was just denting the steel plates, leaving bruises under the chain mail. He jumped back, the power made the jump go a little too far and he timed his landing bad and fell.

"Damn it, stop it, I can't fight like this, you know that!" He hissed to the stone, and the light dimmed, the strange power went away. With the stone, without it, he wasn't going to last against a guy he could barely hurt.

"Goddess of heaven, Goddess of mercy, in name of your mercy help us! Send us a savior for we fight against the dark and are not mighty enough..." Phadria's aged voice rose in prayer.

Snorting Vidarr almost laughed at the prayer, he smashed Lloyd with the flat of his hammer, swatted him aside like he would a fly and waddled up to Colette who was kneeling in prayer with her grandmother. The only thing between him was a small silver haired slip of an elf child. He held a shapeless mass of fire in his hands, in shaking hands, and the fires barely licked at the air beyond his fingers.

"St…Stand aside Desian…" Genis squeaked. "Or I'll... singe you?"

Laughing Vidarr reached down and grabbed the wizard by the scruff of his pale blue shirt.

"You'll do wha?"

"Ekk…" Genis shaking limbs had betrayed him, had not allowed him to run, now they did not allow him to do anything save look up and tremble much like a mouse would in the paws of a cat. Slowly the fire went out, Genis' eyes went wide and his face lost all it's color.

"Thought so." Vidarr turned, saw the young human pick itself off the ground and looked at the shriveled excuse of a being in his hands. He threw the child, Lloyd rolled under the force of a thrown Genis and the small elf smashed into the earth bawling in pain and terror.

"No!" Lloyd staggered to his feet, silver light licking at his blade, it rolled across the ground, smashed into Vidarr's large butt and the Desian turned bloody murder on his face. "I won't let you hurt… anyone?"

Lloyd's once loud and brash pronouncement turned into a whimper when Vidarr didn't waddle but ran across the earth, his weapon leading.

Lloyd managed to, barely, sidestep the under hand uppercut like swing, duck the sweeping half circle that the momentum of the swing was poured into, and was finally nailed a solid hit in the gut when Vidarr used his hammer like you'd use a sword. A blow that might of winded a bear smashed into him and sent him flying. When he hit the ground he didn't get up, he lay croaking for breath, croaking in pain, as tingles continued to run through his arm. He held only one sword, the other none ex-sphere holding hand had lost its wooden sword.

Closing his eyes, hearing the hiss of chain across the air Lloyd braced himself for a very painful end. He tried not to hear Colette scream out his name, to hear Genis' howls of pain.

Xxx xxx xxx

He shivered, old instincts long dead hissed in him like a disquiet ghost. He could feel from a distant corner of his mind, the urge to protect, to nurture, and he squelched those feelings. They had no place in his mission, in his goals, he dared not get distracted. From his hiding place he had watched the children fight the Desian's of some unknown cardinal's ranch. Maybe it was the elusive Rodyal, or Pronyma, he had heard so much about. Regardless, he was impressed, with the youngsters. For backwater farmer's children they held themselves well.

"Lloyd! Leave him alone you bully!" Shrieked the Chosen in a child's cry; it was a cry of pathetic defiance against the evils of the world.

That name, he'd heard it in bits of the conversation earlier but hadn't been listening to it all that much, as he had been giving a telepathic report to Yggdrasil of the events unfolding. He made his plans, told his Lord of them, then had set back on his haunches and waited for his chance to pounce and take over the situation so to say. That name, it was the red clad child. He pummeled his memory, recalled the other time he had seen that child, in the forest in the guise as a priest. He had told Yggdrasil he would wait until the child's friends were deceased to step in, but that name! That damning name howled at him, stoked something in him long dead.

_It's impossible, he's dead!_

He stood his sword clearing its sheath.

_It's not him, I searched all the bodies!_

His feet were little more then a blur, he shoved his way past the obscuring foliage he had hidden behind.

_I won't fail you, not again!_

Kratos charged, stood before the stunned Desian and with a sweep of his blade struck he chain of that bound rod and orb together. His attack threw off the Desian's momentum the man staggered back, his feet tangling on the chain of his weapon. He fell over, Kratos paid the man scant attention, looked at the child. Battered, bloody, the boy opened those dark, night shard eyes, and stared at him in incomprehension.

"What…"

_Pain, a knife in his gut, in his heart, Kvar's insane laughter, 'you may have him back, consider the time I have spent with him worth all the damages'._

_A child's voice twisted in forced hatred. 'I hate you, go away! Leave me alone!'_

There was no greater pain then the lack of recognition in those eyes. And to that pain he responded. "It's not nap time boy, get up and stay out of my way!"

"Like… Hell I am!" Growling the boy rolled over, used a sword to push himself off from the ground. A wooden sword, an apprentice's sword. The sight and lack of skill on the boy's behalf felt like a personal insult, a mockery of all he was. He channeled that rage into strength, turned on the shocked rising Desian's and anger flickered in his eyes. Paling the man backed up, he was no fool, he could sense power Kratos' power.

Vidarr considered the boy, the creature standing guard over him, and decided something intelligent was in order. Most considered him a fool, a stupid slow witted giant, and while he wasn't' the sharpest blade in the armory he was no fool. He needed a hostage, then the man thing in front of the swordsman would leave him alone. He took another step back, his eyes flicking over to the whimpering ball of silver haired wizard. Vidarr ran, snatched the small elf and tightened his grip slightly on the small one's form. He didn't want to kill the child, but now he had no choice.

"Drop yer swords, give me the Chosen, and the shrimp and the rest of you lives."

"No Chosen, no Granddaughter, you can not, you dare not, the world!" Phadria grasped Colette's arm in a claw like grip. "You must think of the world!"

"Grandmother!" Colette gasped, and saw tears in the old woman's eyes.

"Stay with me child, stay with me…" A hand stroked her arm. "You can not leave, the world, you must think of the world, no matter what."

Vidarr shifted his grip, seeing the refusal.

"Worthless runt," Kratos hissed under his breath, his eyes burning in frustration, before he could get over there the child's neck would be broken, he'd be wrung like a damned chicken's. Not able to save the living he would avenge the dead as best he could. It was all he could do, all any of them could do.

Xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd heard that comment, and knew that whoever this guy was had just given up on Genis.

_What a jack ass, you never give up on anyone, no matter what!_

_Well forget you; I don't need your help whoever you are. I got them in I'll get them out._

"Wait!" Lloyd stared at Vidarr. "I'll make a trade, me for him. After all I'm the guy who was kicking your ass right?"

Vidarr growled, watched the young swordsman and considered.

Lloyd threw his sword aside and then lifted his left hand and unwound the length of fabric. He was breaking Dad's one rule, never show the ex-sphere to anyone. But if it made the monster guy let Genis go…

Vidarr gasped, stared at the gem that was shedding a soft silver blue light. That light sent tingles down his whole body, pulsed like a fallen star, and was almost hypnotizing… He could sense the power, pure power, power of Gods, radiating off that gem and if he took it as his own… He nodded dumbly, dropped Genis to the ground and gestured for Lloyd to come forward.

Electrical hands seemed to caress his back, his heart was churning something hotter, lighter, then blood. He stiffly walked forward, trying to think around all the weird feelings, the distance and the closeness that the world became. It hurt, yet couldn't hurt, he shivered, wanted to pull away, but drawing on the stone made its light glow. And the glow was making the big guy act even dumber.

"Come on Genis, don't let me down…" Lloyd hissed to himself, in the light the monster man thing was little more then a black blur.

Then came the familiar chanting he'd been waiting for.

Three orbs of red smashed into the man's helmet, he screamed, ripped off the superheated metal. Canceling the power, ignoring how cold he was feeling, Lloyd ran, scooped up the small elf in his arms and managed to throw them both out of range of the counter hammer strike. When they were safe enough Lloyd put Genis down.

"Stay out of this!" Lloyd barked, then spotting one of his swords by the white clad guy Lloyd ran to pick it up and get back in the fight. He not so accidentally smacked the guy with his sword when the man –right in the middle of Lloyd's search!- moaned and looked like he was going to wake up.

Grinning he lifted his silver powered up blade and swept it across the earth. Vidarr howled, forgot about what's his face and rubbed his buttocks.

"No one hurts my friends and gets away with it!" Lloyd growled, glaring up at the big guy, a surge of confidence that sprung up from the gem banishing his fears. "You hear me, not even you!"

Vidarr laughed, turned away from Kratos and charged.

Xxx xx xxx xxx

Shaking in fury he had nearly summoned his wings, made the earlier banter of the children into a grim reality. Blood seeped down his back, the wounds re-opened, and power even greater then Vidarr could sense spread though him.

_You bastard how dare you try to take my son from me, I'll send you to bloody hell for the pain you've caused him!_

Light, intoxicating, it thrummed through him like a heart beat, first he'd summon the light of judgment on this bastard, then set the carrion on fire, then resurrect the motherless son of a…

Cold shot through his chest, iced the anger, while it did not dull the rage it kept him from losing his head completely.

_After all,_ whispered the woman's voice that had been his only companion for a decade. _You always used to say using the blade was by far more satisfying_.

Wasn't it though?

He slashed at the chains, and Vidarr lost the momentum of his charge in a trip as the chains that held his slop shod armor together became dangerous threads. The chains had become the threads of the Desian's eventually undoing, the key word being "eventual". Crying out in shock and just a little pity, for one of the smaller Desian's was smashed under the larger one's fall and managed a scream of pain, Lloyd hopped back from his downed foe. He slapped at the enemies reaching hands, not even drawing blood with those toy weapons and Kratos mentally wondered who the hell would give the child fake weapons. He really wondered that when Colette finally broke free of her grandmother's grasp and threw one of her rings and the ring caught on the chain armor and got stuck.

"Master of fire, lend me shards of the sun! Fireball!"

Three orbs or sloppy red smacked into the Desian's armor, he howled, rolled over –at this point the man underneath him stopped moaning and was presumably dead- and managed to tangle himself up even more…

While they all were honestly trying they all were going to be mince meat in ten minuets if he didn't finish this thing off for them. Vidar finally ripped off the chain, his belly sticking out in all its gluttonous glory.

"Eww…" Genis made a gagging noise.

"Yucky! Colette covered his eyes.

Kratos only raised an eyebrow at the girl's word choice but kept his peace about his disgust.

Growling Vidarr swung his ball and chain, Lloyd dodged and even Kratos was impressed when it sank a few good inches into the temple wall. He was pleased however when the weapon got stuck.

Grunting and growling the Desian pulled with all his might and the chain certainly hoped about, but the orb did no move an inch. Making a comical squealing noise seeing Kratos descent on him with bloody murder promised in the eyes Vidarr gave one last almighty tug then abandoned the weapon, and staggered off, his eyes only for Kratos. He grimaced, the grimace of a man seeing death and knowing it was inevitable but going to stubbornly fight on.

For once his focus on the real threat made him vulnerable to a different threat.

Slipping behind the Desian, a tired Lloyd gently tapped his blade against the hilt, pushed on something. And from his position it looked almost like magic as Vidarr's sword rose out of it's sheath. From his tiptoes Lloyd gave the final push and the blade slipped free, fell to the ground. Vidarr whirled at the sound, stared at Lloyd who sheepishly shrugged and ran off, the hammer smashing into the dirt behind him.

"Sword... sword... Where's my bloody sword?" Lloyd growled, looking amongst the area outside the temple. "Come on where is it?"

Lloyd finally saw it. What's his name in black and Vidarr were smashing their weapons together right over the blade.

"Hey, you!" Lloyd yelled, hoping the guy would figure it out. Go figure they both turned. Well rather Vidarr turned and the guy in black turned to deliver a slash to the man's gut.

Howling in pain the Desian staggered back, the guy in the weird black clothes delivered a punch, shield leading, and the Desian had blood pouring down his face from a broken nose.

"Good thinking boy!" Whatever-his-name called to him. Then the guy backed off to dodge yet another hammer strike.

"Umm yeah…" Lloyd winced as his blade was stepped on by that massive thing in Desian clothes. "Guess so…"

He watched the man in black, little more then a dancing blur, sidestep, leap, or duck under the hammer, picking off bits of the armor, but the way things were going it never was gunna end anytime today. There was a tone of armor, but if the guy with red hair could get another big hit in like the last time…

"Genis," he waved his friend over and the small elf came by. "I need you to fireball him when I get close, I'll hit him, when he tries to hit me nail him, that way."

"I got it, diversion." Genis nodded. "You know," Genis smiled at him, though pale and tired Lloyd knew that look, he called it the Raine look. "It's only times like this the wheels in your head turn fast."

"Shut it Genis." Lloyd grumbled absently, was surprised to feel a small hand tug on the ribbons that dangled from his turtle neck of his dwarven clothes.

"Be careful Lloyd."

"Yeah, you too."

Genis began his chant and Lloyd lifting his sole blade hoped this would work.

Xxx xxx xxx

Vidarr grunted, as the blade nailed yet another slash, then heard something like bells. Was it time for church now? Church was boring the priest talked a lot but the cookies after were nice…

He turned, saw the brat who tricked him, blocked the man in black's swing and decided it was time to smash that little skull into mush.

Mmmm mashed potatoes…

Kicking himself mentally Vidarr was surprised to see the kid dive under the attack. Growling Vidarr took a step back, lifted his free arm but whirled and set the blow at the mercenary who was trying to take advantage of the distraction. The man in black staggered back from the blow, shook himself sharply, but Vidarr forgot him for a second. He looked down to kick the brat, but the kid was gone! There he was running off, snatching something from the ground and coming back for more. Why was he so slow now? Normally he could think and cover everything in a fight.

He felt the sluggish warmth from his back where the man in black had slid his blade, and realized that he was in over his head. He could barely feel the attacks as he took them and gave them out. He was bleeding out. From the nicks and slashes, bruises, he was near the end of his formidable stamina.

That's why his brain was going all screwy, his thoughts all skewed, he was on his last legs.

He was dying.

It was a strange thought, he should have been scared of it, and perhaps he was just a little. But now all he wanted to do was sleep…

But to sleep he had to stand through the watch all by himself, he couldn't fall asleep now, it was too important!

Shaking his head he didn't even feel the fire hit, couldn't feel it smolder against his skin. He was aware of a slight sting in his back, a blade plunging, piercing something inside that when it ripped spilled fire. He grunted, staggered forward, whimpering in pain as his kidney was pierced by the blade. Never knowing what had happened, that there was pain. He saw the kid in red looking at him, looking sad. Why'd that little weakling, that human runt, _dare_ look at him like that? He was beyond them, beyond all of them, he was bigger and stronger and no one would defeat him! He'd pound that shrimp in the red shirt…

But the red was spreading, in his brain, in his eyes; he moved to wipe it away and tripped on those infernal chains.

Chains that had fallen early on in the fight, that were no longer their.

There was another bit of pain, two feet walked in his muddy red vision, he looked up dumbly, stared at death clad in the shadows of the next life. He whimpered, gibbered, it wasn't his time, he didn't want to die now, he was scared of the dark and… There was a flash of pain, a flash of light off steel, and the world fell away into dark. And those sad eyes seemed to follow him down.

Xxx xxx xxx

"I… I'm gunna get sick… please?" Genis whimpered, then ran off down the trail to a bush and they all could hear him noisily get ill.

He wasn't alone for long, Colette ran off to get sick too.

Somewhere, a part of him was doing so too, but he didn't, not for reals, just in his head.

The guy in black whipped his blade on the back of the armor, frowning the man went to a bit of grass and proceeded to wipe his blade. With shaking hands Lloyd sheathed his swords, they weren't bloody so he didn't have to do something horrible like that, but he felt that they were bloody, like he was covered in the stuff. The smell was awful, he couldn't… how could the guy stand this? Lloyd ignored the man, went to a small quant wooden fence that had a good view that faced away from Iselia, and the ranch, and the temple, and leaned against it and focused on that view. There was a sound a meaty thud, Lloyd turned and wish he hadn't, the guy was pulling his blade out of the comatose Desian, the thud had been the body sliding off the blade and hitting the eath. This guy had just stabbed his sword into a downed man's heart. Phadria muttered something, made a sign of warding, and Lloyd hurriedly looked away. He heard the sound one more time, there was a groan and he looked to see the Desian in white was waking up.

He looked about, saw his soldier's dead, and cringed back from the black clad man in terror.

Lloyd couldn't blame him in the least; the guy in black freaked him out too.

He saw what's-his-name frown, advance on the wounded man in white.

"Enough." Lloyd whispered his voice thick with sickness. "That's enough, let him go."

"You hardly know the mind set of these animals." The man in black countered.

The guy in white, Botta, was looking at him funny, well it must be weird to have a human stick up for you when you're a half elf.

"Please, isn't this enough?" Lloyd gestured to the carnige, the dead priests and the dead Desian's, the area was so churned up and bloody that who was who was hard to tell anymore.

"Such compassion is strange in humans." Botta said coolly, looking him over. He then spared a glance at the red haired man. "You killed my men."

"You were going to kill children."

Botta sighed, pulled himself to his feet, the guy in black tensed. Botta ignored the older humans looked to Lloyd.

"I hope your breed of mercy becomes dominant with your specie human. I'll remember you." Then waving a hand red light engulfed the man and when it was gone there was nothing left.

"Lloyd…" Phadria looked at him a slight smile on his face. "Perhaps the goddess has granted you a sliver of her light in you in the form of mercy."

Lloyd shrugged, looked to the ocean.

"So, your name, is Lloyd." The man asked, there was something kinda familiar about the look he felt boring into his back.

"You know," Lloyd said in a vice that Phadria recognized all to well and groaned to hear it. It was the exact same tone he used when he was going to say something cutting to Ivan. "I don't know if I wanna give my name to a killer."

"What did you just say?"

"Wow old man, is your hearing that bad?"

The man sputtered, his eyes seemed to burn into Lloyd like fiery daggers.

"If I hadn't come in you all would have been killed."

Lloyd's grip on the rail of the fence when so tight his knuckles when white, there was a stubborn set to his posture that made Phadria realized that if she didn't step in she'd have to explain to poor Dirk why Lloyd was dead.

"Lloyd, could you please check on Colette and Genis?"

"But…"

"As your priest…" Lloyd's eyes narrowed in anger and Phadria sighed, corrected herself. "As the friend of your priest, please Lloyd, it's for the betterment of all things."

"Somehow, I dunno." Lloyd looked to the carnage with a horridly cool eye. Phadria knew he fought beasts in the forests, was close to the ranch, but certainly he wasn't this hardened. "I don't see how it's better."

"Martel's blessing…"

Lloyd turned, walked away, refusing to have her benediction, refusing the grace of the Goddess. As he always did, he clung to the dark and denied himself the light. With such a dark star to show what that path could reap before her Phadria resolved to begin yet again to coax him back to the light. She stared at that example, watched it wearily, as it knelt by the last comatose Desian and lifted a blood seeped blade. She turned away as the blade fell.

"Who are those I just saved, and what worth is it to me?" The man said coolly, yet again cleaning his blade, Phadria did not watch however, stared at the sky, at the sun.

"How would you feel if I said, 'give me your name and I shall give you mine.' ?"

The man in black snorted.

"I'd say whom ever said that was arrogant."

"Then I am arrogant, and in my arrogance I demand an answer."

"I am Kratos Aurion, a traveling mercenary, and if you will pay me for escorting the child through her trial at this temple I would be grateful, for I am currently un-employed at the moment."

"I do not know if I could trust Martel's Chosen with a murderer." Phadria said softly, "but it is not my choice in full, but hers. We shall see what she says upon returning."

"You leave the choice of the Chosen's welfare with a child, two children if you refuse."

"I leave it in the hands of heaven." Phadria whispered. "There are times when mortals must submit to the Devine."

"Hurmph, indeed," Kratos crossed his arms in front of him, looked formidable, he was good at doing that.

Xxx xxx xxx

"We should probably go in the temple then. Now that things are decided and I will be escorting you Chosen one."

"No way, I'm so going."

_Absolutely not, do you think I want you to die again! Go home, go back to whatever you call home and after…_

Kratos mentally kicked himself, stared at the boy and in his coldest voice state his opinion with traveling with a child.

"I'm older then Colette." Lloyd protested.

"You are still a child." Kratos growled.

"We're going." Lloyd growled.

"We?" Genis squeaked.

"Of course, _we_. After all you're Iselia's best wizard."

"Tha... Thanks, I think."

"Children, should stay at home." Kratos rumbled. His voice was dipping to a dangerous note that made even Colette scoot away from him in fear.

"Ignoring you," Lloyd announced calmly. "I could hardly care less what you want. Colette's going in danger and I plan to stick with her every inch of the way."

"There will be danger…"

"Yeah and I'll protect her from it, you can go follow some trading caravan or something alright, I've got it covered."

Kratos felt his face twitch, felt his hands clench, and images of wraping them around Lloyd's throat were alluring ones.

"Lloyd, this man isn't Ivan…" The priestess hissed. "He is not constrained by any law to not hurt you. Mercenaries are lawless and cruel, don't push him."

"Alight, don't push fine. Krabos, go ahead and escort Colette, don't even worry about me because I won't be going in to protect Colette, I'll just take a little look around since the doors wide open. If I happen to walk down the same hall as Colette, just a little ahead or behind who cares? It's not like I'm deliberately hanging with her and protecting her and making you look like a total…"

Phadria cleared her throat and Lloyd rolled his dark eyes.

"No, continue, I'd like to be enlightened on your opinion of me." Kratos hissed.

"Why waste my time, I mean a total jerk like you…"

Genis began to make choking noises.

"Is probably so insensitive that I doubt you'd have the ability to care…"

_You may have your son back, no charge, I consider the damages fully paid with the time…_

Kratos' hand snatched the front of Lloyd's tunic dragged the startled boy forward, but the litany stopped, the childish voice in his head screaming words of hatred stilled as the near adult before him went quiet.

"That's enough." Kratos hissed, his eyes burning with hell fire in their depths. Lloyd paled, nodded his head. Something in Kratos' gut clenched, writhed. He hated to see fear in Lloyd's eyes, but the anger was almost as bad. "Of all things I will not tolerate boy, one of them is disrespect."

"I _have_ a name." Lloyd snarled. "When you don't say it you sound like my Dad, and no one is my Dad _but _my Dad."

_This is not my son. My son is dead, my son would never look at me like this, he would remember me, some bit. He would remember me._

_This is not my son._

Relief, pain, and numbness, took him.

"Of course." Kratos released the child, let the boy down.

"Jackass…" Lloyd growled, rubbing his throat. "I dunno Phadria, can you trust this guy, he's such a jerk, I'd rather have Ivan with her, and I hate Ivan."

_This is not my son!_

"Be polite Lloyd."

_This is not my son!_

"Why should I? It's not like I'm ever going to be seeing Sir Vicious again!" Lloyd growled. "Who cares what he thinks about me?"

"Lloyd, that's enough!" Genis squeaked.

"I think you like each other!" Colette chirped.

Kratos lost his mantra against the pain, Lloyd lost his anger, they both stared at her in shock.

"You're a lot alike." Colette said brightly. "You're both swordsman and… you both look and act alike. See look at you two, you look the same right now!"

Kratos looked down at Lloyd and Lloyd looked up at him. The child was right, it wasn't physical, lines of pain and anger had carved jagged marks across his face, his form under his clothes was a mess of scars, and the windows to his soul was shuttered and locked in ice. Lloyd had not a mark on him, showed everything to a very obnoxious fault. They both had different hair, different builds, radically different clothes… Yet in that moment Kratos could see no difference. Could feel his expression turn to surprise in time with Lloyd's, like a mirror image, well a shorter mirror image but…

_This is not…_

The words died away, he did not know for sure in his head, but his heart would hear no more lies. He could not even think it now.

"Colette… are you feeling OK? I look nothing like this guy, I mean at least I can see and don't have my hair in my face all the time!"

"I feeling fine, now that I know you're coming with me I know everything's going to be alright Lloyd!"

"Heh…" Lloyd went crimson, looked uncomfortable at the hug. "Yeah, I guess so."

Kratos' heart clenched, recalled a brown haired woman's embrace, a gentle kiss, and his hesitance at such returning such gestures. Lloyd squirmed out of Colette's hug, looked embarrassed.

Kratos learned why he was less then ten seconds later. Phadria said she would pray for them outside the temple, shuffled off, and Genis' lips curled into a wide smile.

"Colette and Lloyd sittin' in a tree. Kay-eye-ess-ess-eye-en-gee! First comes loooove…"

"Genis, if you don't _SHUT UP_ I swear I'll "Raine" you so hard your ancestors will feel it!"

Of course the words _shut up_ caught on the domed roof and bounced back at them for a while.

"See even the winged feathery people in the temple are telling you to shut up, I'm right!"

"They're called angels Lloyd." Colette sighed, a sign they had this conversation so much that the child was weary of it.

Despite himself Kratos smiled at the words 'winged feathery people' it was a rather accurate description after all.

She was not heard, as the boys got into yet another fight.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"We're going on ahead!" Kratos barked, cutting off the fight. "Any children on the fieldtrip to tour the Martel temple will be left behind."

"We aren't on a field trip… we're on a… an archeological expedition." Genis countered.

Kratos' glare told Genis to shut up, and with the 'feathered people' saying shut up behind him the small elf went quiet.

"Whatever." Kratos turned on his heel and began to walk down the center hall.

"Oh my Goddess, he used a Lloyd-ism!" Colette gasped. "I knew I was right!"

"Uh boy… Colette that sounds like something I'd say… And if Kratos is talking like Lloyd and you're talking like me and I talk like you then what's Lloyd gunna talk like?"

"Oh I know, Noishy!"

"Whine?" Lloyd tried to speak like Noishe. "I dunno Colette, I don't think Noishe talk suits me."

Kratos was grateful he had wandered ahead, he leaned against the wall of the temple and stared at nothing for a long while.

"What is a Noishe?" Kratos asked, when he felt in control of himself.

"Oh Lloyd's doggy, he's really nice!"

"Lloyd or the dog?" Genis snickered, then owed as Lloyd gave him a rough head rub with his knuckle.

"Noishe is not a dog, well he's kinda a dog, acts dogish, but he's really smart."

"Don't believe a word he says." Genis warned Colette. "Next he'd going to tell you the story about when Noishe cooked dinner or something."

"Breakfast," Lloyd countered, sounding sulky. "He cooked toast when me and Dad were sick with the flu. Why does no one believe me? I'm telling you he's really smart, he's like a special super dog."

"He's a dog that got painted funny colors."

"Green's a good color." Lloyd growled, defending his dog.

"Have you heard of a Protozoan?" Kratos asked, turning back to them, staring at Lloyd intently.

"Um no... What's that?"

"Nothing… it is not important, let us move on."

"Is there evil down that tunnel too?" Lloyd snipped, sounding angry.

"Perhaps we will see once we traverse it we shall see what it holds."

_As with this tunnel, as with so many other things, we must walk to see where it leads. Who are you, hope, despair, some bittersweet mix of both? Or are you delusion? When will I know the truth? A truth I may not turn away from, and then what to do?_

"Sylvarant to Krabos, you hear me?" Lloyd waved a hand in front of his face, and Kratos hopped back.

"It's _Kratos_," The mercenary corrected icily.

"I like Krabos, it sounds like a crab!"

"Kratos the crab?" Genis snickered.

"And then some." Lloyd added nodding wisely.

_And if you are my son how am I going to not throttle you, ah there's the question I'll dwell upon. Someone made several mistakes when they took my place. And if we are traveling together I plan to correct them, every single last one._

"Um why are you grinning at me like that?" Lloyd took a step back wearily.

"No reason." Kratos let his eyes slide to mere slits. "Is there a problem _Lloyden_?"

"It's Lloyd, _Krabos! _Not Lloyden!_"_

"Say my name correctly and I shall gift you with an uncorrupted version of yours."

"Urg, that's it I'm going ahead!" Lloyd stormed down the tunnel.

In his haste to get away he missed Kratos' smug self congratulatory smile. The small elf scampered after his friend and Colette smiled at her friend's backs, seemed to be ignoring him completely.

"I'm happy you and Lloyd like each other this much! Lloyd never teases anyone except people he likes! He acts like he doesn't like some people at first because it takes him a while to figure he really does like them, and when your done fighting I bet you'll really really like each other!"

Kratos stared at the girl in confusion.

"Lloyd and Genis fought a lot at first, they still do, but they don't mean it. They're really really close, but they started out not liking each other at all. It's really confusing, because Genis liked Lloyd, but Lloyd couldn't like Genis because Genis was too smart. But Lloyd got used to that Genis was really smart and they grew to really like each other and now their best friends. I bet this is just the "you like Lloyd but Lloyd doesn't realize that he can like you yet" step."

Kratos stared at the girl, rubbed his aching temple, this was perhaps the most drawn out and contradictory explanation he'd ever heard in his life.

"Everyone looks at me like that when I explain it. No one understands it until its done. I think even Dirk, Lloyd's Dwarf Dad, went through the same thing. It takes a really long time for Lloyd to say he really likes you back, he's always so scared to say he likes anyone, because everyone leaves him. I bet even Dirk went through it. Don't worry, it'll make sense, I promise." Colette then patted him on the head, as if he was the youngest of children.

"Everyone leaves him?" Kratos picked out and held that one piece of her narrative.

"His family did, they died." Colette looked sad. "If they do that then who else wouldn't, he said that once when he was really sad, I don't think he means it, but I don't know." Colette looked down the tunnel, Lloyd and Genis were arguing about lighting a torch. Bits of the argument were reaching them, it was angry, but not a genuine anger. "Since you and Lloyd are going to be such good future friends can I get a head start and can we be friends now?" Colette asked, with such a hopeful look Kratos' heart clenched.

To be a Chosen and have friends, it must be so difficult knowing what she knew was to come. So many others turned to faith to be their only friends, and this one did not. And if she didn't have a word for it in her vocabulary he did, she was lonely, a lonely child in need of a few more friends.

"Of course, Chosen." He said before the over controled part of him made him stay silent. The tingling from his chest made him stop wondering exactly who had influenced him and made him more suseptable to his emotions then normal.

"Wow, it's nice having a friend outside the village now, well Lloyd kind of lives outside the village but he lives so much in it that doesn't really count you know!"

"Ahh…" Kratos was going to ask another question when he heard an impassioned.

"OK I'll just use my mana if you promise to use your stone when I get tired!"

"I can't do that, it makes me get all sick when I use it too long!"

"Well then we'll light a torch then, like everyone else!"

"But it'd be so much cooler if you…"

"I'm tired, I can't keep it up and fight."

"Don't they use Guano for the fuel?"

"I donno… it smells nasty though."

"Hey, I have an idea! Let's have Kratos carry the smelly torch!"

Kratos' face twitched.

"He likes me hmm?"

"Oh yeah, if he didn't he'd just ignore you. The Mayor tried to make Lloyd and Ivan like each other but Lloyd just ignored Ivan no matter what the Mayor did. He even tried pretend threatened to exile him if they didn't act like they liked each other."

Kratos sighed. "I hope I survive this first stage then."

"Don't worry, it's not that bad, it'll be over like that and you'll forget all about it."

Smelling burning guano and seeing a cheerful Lloyd offering him the torch Kratos took it and since he could do nothing else, decided to follow the Chosen's advice. He tired not to think too fondly on infanticide. And tried to pointedly ignore the woman's laughter in his head, and ignore the strange tingling from his cruxis crystal. But even as they went deeper in the temple, all those downwind him trying not to breath, Kratos could almost hear Anna's teasing mix with Lloyd's.

"Hey, Krabos…."

Anna laughed richly at that one, called him '_derris fa crabbiness_'.

"Yes, _Lloyden_." Kratos lips curled as he delivered return volley, and it triggereda spectacular show that rivaled an ember falling ontoa oiled wood pile.

"Ung forget it!" Lloyd stomped off, taking point yet again.

Colette only looked at them both and giggled.

REVEIW RESPONSES

ArkNavy: Weird as it seems I do. I have emotional connections to all my characters (OF and fanfic) even though it's just fiction. It's one of my writer quirks I guess. Anyway glad you liked it, and even more Lloyd to come. About last chapter I was using something called 'unreliable perspective' so that's why it was so hard to follow.

Jakia: I think one more chapter, don't worry I put "the end" up nowadays when I have a multi chapter fic going on.

Memumbo: You'll probably grow to hate him more in shards.. I'm trying to make him a hated but pitied villain... Doesn't look like it's working - -'

GAmeCubeGirl1: Your answer is coming shortly, I imagine there is one more chapter after this one.

InuKratosStan : _Hands IKS tissue_ umm thanks?


	9. The last tears

A/N: I got the bulk of this chapter from a fan-pic called remembrance. It's a sur-realist image of Lloyd sleeping and Kratos breaking down at a nearby table. It's a sad-touching pic, and I wish I could remember the artist. If anyone's interested I can e-mail them a copy so what I'm saying makes a little more sense... And the kitchen scene is a sign I'm playing way too much FFCC. The last part is very bloody and detailed, sensitive readers may want to stop when they read up to the scene at Lloyd's where Kratos declines dinner and start up to where I have left an author's note stating the rest is safe.

Oh and translation for angelic at the end of the chapter.

Chpater 9

Last tears

"It's a door..." Genis frowned. "A glowing door."

"So where's the door handle?" Lloyd asked, staring at the wall like door-thing wreathed in white light. He then reached through the light, groped at the door, disrupted the glowing angelic symbols in his groping, and there was a charming Lloyd shaped black spot on the white wall. Kratos considered it, considered being nice, but then thought of the "are we there yet" feast he had been going through for the last hour. Closing his eyes he mouthed a few words in angelic and flicked two fingers at the door. There was a flash of white, a yalp, and a sizzle as the anti thief wards were activated.

Lloyd fell on his rump, twitching, staring at the door in shock.

"It bit me!"

Kratos bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the offended expression Lloyd was favoring the door.

"The freaking door bit me!"

"Don't be illogical Lloyd, the door is incapable of biting you." Genis walked up to the en-spelled wall. "You messed up the runes so long as you don't tou-"

Kratos made another gesture, Genis landed at Lloyd's feet, electricity sparking from his hair. They looked like a nicely matched pair of porcupines, well their hair did, all sticking up and spitting little starlets of electricity. Kratos felt his shoulders shaking with suppressed mirth, as the three children looked at the door in horror.

"Do you think it knows I didn't go to confession last week?" The small silvered hair elf whispered to his older swordsman friend.

"I think if that's why it shocked people I'd be extra shocked don't you?"

"I bet only the Chosen can touch it, because it's _angelic." _Genis said, looking at Colette in awe.

Colette blushed at the attention her 'angelic' status was getting her.

"I can try."

Colette then gathered her courage and touched the wall with one finger. Lloyd covered his eyes, then peeked through his fingers just in case something interesting happened when the wall disappeared or turned into a door, or did whatever they imagined it would do. Cracking her eyes open Colette tapped the wall with her finger, poked, prodded, then daring she put both hands on it and pushed. Then she pushed against the glowing and non glowing parts. She even went so far as to interrupt the flow of the runes along the parameter of the wall. Finally she pressed on the large crystal in the center of the wall, tugged, and when nothing came of it looked at her friends sheepishly.

"It won't budge."

"Let me give it another go, I think..."

Kratos, not wanting to go through that again, made a slight gesture with his right hand. The door sizzled before anyone had touched it. The Chosen whimpered, and took a step back, tripping, and falling onto Lloyd making him in turn trip. Genis scrambled, managed to avoid being smushed by the pile of his tripping friends. In his haste to get away he lost balance and smashed into Kratos. The seraphim, much to his self embarrassment, felt his balance go and he landed on his rump, the child sprawled over his legs.

"Opps... I did it again..." Colette whimpered, "Is everyone alright?"

"No fatalities here." Genis groaned, shoved off of Kratos' leg to get up.

"There will be if you don't get off my cloak." Kratos snarled, he wasn't choked by the shrimp standing on his cape but he could be if he sat up.

"Wow, has anyone ever told you you're really nice Kratos!" Genis growled, rubbing his back.

"Genis," Lloyd sighed. "Just ignore him alright; all we need is a fight." Lloyd was rubbing his rump.

"He's being a jerk!" The small elf growled in a tattle tell voice

"I think I'm entitled to be a jerk when I can not breathe, runt." Kratos countered, pulling himself to his feet.

"Not to my friends you don't." Lloyd snapped, his temper starting to go.

"R...Runt?" Genis sputtered. "Runt!"

Fire crackled from Genis' hands, Kratos took a step back gripping the hilt of his blade, and to the seraphim's concern Lloyd took a stand by his friend, gripping the hilts of his swords.

"Oh I got it!" Colette clapped her hands and they forgot each other for a second to look at the Chosen. "It's in angelic; it was hard to read because the letters keep walking by. It says it's locked."

Dead quiet, Kratos could well imagine he could hear the skitter of mouse feet on the other side of the temple.

"Umm... we figured that Colette." Genis said as kindly as one could say that.

"Well I bet the key's in the temple somewhere!"

Lloyd sighed.

"You're telling me we have to look for a key now?"

"Cheer up Lloyd, it's got to be here somewhere!"

"We don't even know what it looks like." Lloyd whined Kratos flinched at the sound; someone had probably spoiled the boy if he was this prone to whining. "It's just gunna be boring looking for some dumb old key."

"It'll be fun!" Colette chirped, "think of it like a scavenger hunt."

Genis and Kratos looked at each other. Anger and distrust dropped away for a moment as they shared a look of equal frustration, annoyance, and pity.

"We should get going." Kratos stroked the hilt of his blade. "There are monsters about so while we search we should be careful."

"Got it." Colette smiled. "Here Mr. Key!" She skipped down the hall back to the main chapel, and the three males stared at her in shock.

"Is she always like this?" Kratos muttered under his breath.

"It's a blonde person's thing." Genis sighed.

"It's a_ Colette_ thing." Lloyd corrected, rubbing his temples. "Your turn."

"It's not my turn!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not... infinity!"

"Cheater... Fine I got it. Colette..." Lloyd ran after her. "The "key" probably isn't a dog!"

"Why..." Seeing month and months of dealing with this suddenly looming before him Kratos gripped his hair almost ripped a chunk out. "Why, oh gods, _why_..."

"Why what?" Genis looked up at him in confusion.

"This... Is the Chosen!"

"Yep, that's our Colette."

"She's an id-"

"Hey!" Genis poked him, considering his height he managed to poke Kratos' gut instead of his chest. "She's a good person! She cares for everyone else and she tries to help everyone! That's a heck of a lot better then some of the other Chosen's. Some of them were jerks and Colette's nice to... everyone, even you, so you better be nice to her. If you aren't I'll fireball you after Lloyd beats you up, then I'll have my sis heal you, then I'll fireball you again!"

Kratos stared at the little elf with a mocking smile curling his lips and Genis cringed back from the shear malicious sense of power that the human before him radiated. He gulped, decided it would be nice to be with Lloyd, and scampered off to go there. Snorting at the boy's cowardice Kratos took his time following them, and in the gloom choked hall made a decision. Lloyd seemed happy enough as he was; it was not his place to disrupt that with his assumptions. He had lost his place long ago, he was, as Lloyd had bluntly told him, not Lloyd's Dad.

"Mer phan." Kratos mumurred to the darkness. "Mer phan., Suda mer Lloyden. Us'il mer Osi. Ne mer nu ust Oris."

The angels above seemed to catch his words, sigh them amongst themselves, speak them through stone lips across the vault across the heavens. A mocking heavenly choir that spoke in lies, till all lies became truth. But then all angels spoke in lies, they _wer_e lies. Nothing would come of them speaking lies, for nothing could damn stone, lies only damned the living.

"Us'il osi, ne mer nu ust oris..."

"You are my son, I am not your father."

There could be no more damning a litany to his ears but lies and truth, all the more accursed because he could no longer tell which was which.

Xxx

"Cool, look at this!" Lloyd pointed to the painting on the wall, a fresco. He pushed aside the few threads of white that slide over it, brushed off the sticky stuff so they could all see the painting. "Hey, Colette, who's this?"

They all hovered over Lloyd's shoulder, well Colette did, Genis squirmed past him to look. Kratos hung back, not too interested, he closed his eyes radiating boredom that even Lloyd-who was known to get bored really fast- found offensive. Colette smiled, pointed to the arch of purple.

"This is the arch of heaven. Here..." She traced the highest part of the arch, lead them up to the pretty woman clutching a staff clad in emerald green robes. "That's Martel, the Goddess of life and regeneration. The person on her left is the angel of wisdom, keeper of the summer sky." She traced the left quarter of the circle then went out a little with her hand; Lloyd thoughtfully pulled the last of the white gunk down so they could see the blue clad and haired angel. "He's the patron angel of artisans and scholars." Her hand went across to the other side of the sphere and she pointed to the tall man in white robes and long golden hair. "That's the angel of justice and autumn; he's the patron saint of adventurers and people who do good things on pilgrimages." Hesitantly the hand went down to the black part of the circle, for purple darkened, turned to black and down so low Lloyd had to kneel to get a good look.

That had to be the creepiest angel he'd ever seen.

This one wasn't all sad and happy at the same time like the ones in the book, it wasn't all vacant eyed like the statues in the main dome, it was... intent. It looked at you and just stared through you. Colette made a strange gesture, and backed away, Genis moved with her. The angel had a red sword, black eyes, and it's sober face was wreathed in dull grey shadows. Lloyd brushed some of the dust that obscured not snowy white wings but twisted feathery masses that ran red.

"Lloyd get away from there!" Colette gasped. "That's an evil symbol."

"Colette," Lloyd sighed, rolled his shoulders in annoyance. "It's just a picture, it's not like it's gunna bite me."

"Lloyd, that's the angel of death!" Genis squeaked.

"For crying out loud, it's just a picture!" Lloyd flared, staring at the sword, at the hilt of the angels' weapon. "Hey... wait a second..." He put a finger against the stone; felt an indent where the gem hilt was. He stood, put his hand on the crown that the woman in green was wearing. "They put the stars here, see... Martel's crown has a star where it should in the sky and here... the blue guy..." Lloyd put a finger on the heart and there was that indent. "What do ya know? Just like the stories."

A chill slid up his back, he turned and saw Kratos staring at him all intent like. Arms crossed, he was half in half out of the shadows, and Lloyd shivered despite himself under that gaze that gave nothing away. That gaze, the man, stared at him as if he was the most fascinating thing in the world. Slowly those eyes strayed off of him, slid to the wall painting and looked to the bottom part that had been cleaned away. Kratos looked, and saw Genis and Colette cringing away, he saw Lloyd' lack of fear. Though the lips did not turn in the slightest there seemed for just a heartbeat, a slight smile in his eyes.

"They say those who look at death without fear are the truly blessed."

Lloyd, normally having something to say, couldn't find his tongue just then.

"Come along, we have little time to waste."

Kratos took point, not knowing to feel flattered at the compliment, or annoyed for being ordered by someone else, he decided on the latter.

He also decided to get back at Kratos for being such an annoying jerk later.

Xxx

"Chitter chitter click?" Colette muttered, and Kratos stopped and turned to her.

Then from above came a sound a chitter and a click.

"See it echoes, isn't that neat Mr. Kratos!"

"Chosen," The seraphim playing mercenary ordered himself not to draw his wings in building panic. "How long have you been hearing that?"

"Mmm quite a while?"

"Give me a reference child."

"Well since Genis started playing ra-ta-ta-tat on the walls with Lloyd's sword."

"Since he -what?" Kratos whirled, stared at Genis who was lazily tapping Lloyd's sword against the white covered walls. Seeing he was the target of the stare Genis dropped the sword and pointed at Lloyd.

"He gave it to me!"

Lloyd who was lagging behind trying to clean off his hands of some gunk looked up and almost automatically said.

"Whatever he said I didn't do it!"

"What happened to your hands?"

"Huh? Umm.. Nothing!" Lloyd put them behind his back and gave Kratos an all too familiar sheepish smile.

Clenching on the pain in his chest Kratos told himself now was not the time to start crying, he had an eternity to do so.

"What happened Lloyd?"

The boy blinked, startled by the mercenaries gentle tone.

"Some junk fell from the ceiling and landed on my hand. It's sticky, worse then hot cheese. That's when I asked you to bring the torch, and look up, but there was nothing there."

Kratos nodded, remembered wondering why Lloyd was so adamant about having the torch now. Having been studying some strange dragging steps in the dust Kratos had blown Lloyd off. The mercenary was now regretting that sorely. He lifted the torch up, and they all looked up.

Slender legs tip toeing across a silken road it was little wonder he had seen no tracks till those strange dragging ones a while back. The monsters of the chapel would not need to travel the floors. The whole ceiling, the walls, was a white silken road. And on that road were two glittering eyes travelers. Colette shrieked, as one of the hound sized spiders threw itself from the ceiling, Genis looked up in numb terror as the creature threw itself at him. Snarling a curse Lloyd tackled the elf, and they hit the ground some distance away from the monster. Pulling his blade out with his clean hand the brown haired swordsman met the monster with a head on charge, smashed the wooden 'sharp' of his blade into the things head. Chittering the monster took a step back, its legs tensed...

Kratos knew the move was going to charge in and help the boy but the other spider landed in front of him. It skittered on its legs, backed up and seemed to kneel with it's wrong way bending knees. There was no room to dodge aside, not unless he wanted to live the rest of his life bound to the temple's wall. He took two steps back, shoved the torch between two stones of the floor, and kneeled. When the beast threw itself forward he thrust upwards with his blade, caught the thing in the pinched looking span between its head and abdomen segments. It fell apart in two pieces, the front kept flying forward and the back slid down his blade. Wiping the green ichor form his eyes Kratos stood, watched as Lloyd did the worst thing humanly possible in this situation. The boy tried to dodge to the side of the jump, and then perhaps remembering that the walls were covered in spider web put up a hand to push off the wall so his body wouldn't slam into it.

Well the plan did work, but Lloyd was now stuck by his left hand on the wall swinging wildly and kicking blindly behind him at the insect.

At the cries of 'shoo' the monster clicked its mandibles together, venom dripped from the fangs. Kratos strode over the dead monster's companion, and delivered a two handed slash to the beasts' back half. It skittered forward, its insides pooling behind it, then slumped dead and empty at Lloyd's feet.

"Don't move." Kratos commanded in a soft voice.

Lloyd shivered as Kratos reached out with a blood stained hand, gripped his wrist and pulled against the silken looking threads. Even being what he was the hand was stuck. Oh he could rip it free but Lloyd would lose all the skin on his fingers. Seeing this, understanding, Lloyd scrunched up his face.

"Genis, you got those apple gels?"

"Yeah..." The elf's voice was shaking; perhaps he saw what was coming.

"On three..." Lloyd whimpered.

The count came and went, Lloyd whimpered in his arms, tears of pain running down his face. Colette moved to go to them as soon as Genis gave him a gel.

"Keep her out of my way." Kratos snarled at the elf. He fumbled, supporting Lloyd, holding a gel, an a sword. He let the sword drop, pulled a knife from his belt and drew a thin line against the protective skin that sheathed the red gel. Knife followed sword, as he worked the jell out on Lloyd's palm and gently began to rub it in. Whimpering in pain Lloyd leaned against him, not just skin had been lost... Lips moving to form words he dared not give any breath to Kratos summoned his power on silent prayers, channeled it through the gel. If there was a subdued glow about his hands let the Chosen say it was the hands of a merciful angel her friend's hand was save. She wouldn't have been wrong had she ascribed Lloyd's healing to an angel anyways. For a few moments, lost in his pain and the healing mana Lloyd leaned weakly against Kratos, didn't mind the half embrace half support the older man was giving him.

Pain writhed in his chest; tears burned but would not come because he dared not allow them to.

For the first time in fourteen years he held his son.

He could feel his son's heartbeat hammering against his chest, could hear and feel his son drawing breath.

Had he died in that moment it would have been with words of thanks on his lips, all his prayers would have been answered.

But the moment came and the moment went, Lloyd squirmed and Kratos let him stand on his own two feet.

With an awkward 'thanks' Lloyd practically ran to join his friends. Typical adolescent, uncomfortable with being touched it seemed. Children were so free about their caresses, had a hundred of them, a hug, kiss, pulling of the hair... Then they broke away, forgot they were children, strived to be adults, and it was then, if they ever became true adults that they remembered they were children. They remembered and picked up again the ability to touch, be touched, by the world by others about them... Lloyd snatched up the torch, wondering almost at his hand that he should have for all intents and purposes lost, and some of the hostility, the jealousy, faded away in gratitude.

Blinking back tears Kratos ordered himself to remain in control, to break down later.

Where all, in his heart, he wanted to do was grab the boy shake him. Tell him the truth. His mind knew that a pair of crystal eyes would be watching, and if he saw... Oh Gods if he knew then Lloyd would be tortured to death! He dared say nothing.

They went on.

Xxx

"The path's sloping!" Lloyd announced.

"How do you know?" Genis asked.

"Let me have a marble I'll show you!"

Genis handed over a small blue marble and Lloyd set it down and it rolled right a head of them at a snails pace.

"It's not much of a slope, or the marble would zip on down, but we're going down."

"It's a downward spiral." Kratos informed them.

"Huh?" Lloyd looked at him in confusion.

"The marble goes to the left."

"Oh..." Lloyd blushed. "I should of thought of that."

"Wow, Mr. Kratos, you're really smart."

"It's nothing, let's move on."

Xxx

"Can we stop now!" Genis whined as they came to a landing, they kept going down and down. It was longer then Genis had ever walked before.

"Fine," Kratos leaned against the wall. There was no more spider web, as the spiders were prowling the upper levels; the lower seemed all but abandoned. Genis collapsed onto the floor panting, Colette sat cross legged on the floor and began to pray; Lloyd rolled his eyes and eyed the door that Kratos was by. Kratos realizing that he wasn't being stared at looked at the door, took in the adventurous expression, and scowled.

"The spiders weren't enough for you Lloyd?"

"N– I mean yeah." Lloyd swiftly changed his answer at Kratos' scowl. "But if I remember a friend of mine's story this is a secondary kitchen pantry like room."

Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"What, so I'm hungry? I forgot my lunch; it's like an eight mile walk home to get it."

Kratos stared, disbelieving.

"Come on, I'm hungry, and I swear if it's filled with food I'll be quiet."

"And if I say no?"

"I'll.."

Genis butted in. "We'll beg, I'm hungry too, and thirsty!"

"Oh there's food!" Colette forgot her prayers and looked to Lloyd. "Where?"

Kratos scowled at them all.

"I'll go in and check the room to make sure it's safe." Kratos opened the door and ducked inside. He came back five minuets later. "It's clear, come in."

The door opened and they squeaked into the room. It sported a long table, a chief's coat and hat, some cooking implements scattered on the table, a still lit stove, and a mess of ingredients all about. Genis ran to the table a series of happy chirps coming from him. Colette joined him, leaned on the table and watched as the coat and hat disappeared form their respective stands. Bread, meats, lettuce and a few other odd and end foods and food stuffs were chucked onto the table, then a white clad blur seemed to shoot from behind the counter and dash back carrying a stool. There was a grunt, then clad in an adult sized white coat and a chiefs hat Genis stood on the stool and a knife in hand. Genis' hands seemed to blur as he sliced the loaf, and laid out the first two sliced of bread.

"Mi'lady, what can I cook for you?"

Colette giggled asked for a fruit sandwich, Genis went to work he toasted the bread with a fireball spell then sprinkled some cinnamon, syrup and sugar on top. She had sweetened brown toast with a fruit layer. Happily she sat on top of a sealed water barrel and ate her lunch.

The knife went to work, there were two pieces of bread and Genis caught Lloyd's eye.

"Whatever."

"Tomato it i-"

"No!" Lloyd went pale as a ghost.

"Then don't say 'whatever'." Genis scowled. "Or it's tomato every time."

Lloyd nodded meekly, then looked over the food.

"Beef, lemon, lettuce, onion, and cheese?"

"On it, toasted?"

"Lightly."

Genis looked up, seemed sinister in that hat, he squinted up at the swordsman and pointed the knife at Lloyd.

"I use a fireball spell, do you think I can lightly toast anything?"

"Maybe."

"I'll try, don't come to me when it's half cooked though."

"I trust you." Lloyd then patted Genis' head, deliberately knocking the oversized hat into Genis' eyes.

"Hey!"

Lloyd ducked the answering fireball spell and Kratos yelled at them for starting fires in the room.

Xxx

Stairs, Colette tripped, and Kratos saw why Genis had insisted why he lead. He was smashed underneath the lot of them several times before they finally reached the room with a glass floor. There were holes randomly placed, disturbingly large holes, a purple mist flowed about the holes, ghosted under the floors, and blocked the view of below.

"Hey, I see stairs, I'll head down, come on Genis, let's go!"

Both boys disappeared behind the winding stairs that ran on the far end of the glass floor and were lost after the first bend in that strange mist. There was a span of silence then.

"Hellloooo, can you hear us?"

The voices did seem far off. He went to one of the large holes.

"Yes!" He yelled. "Where are you?"

"There's a path down here with some broken bridges, there's something shiny up ahead."

There was a long pause...

"Oh shit, what is that thing a bat?"

"I got it!"

Kratos considered going down the stairs, shifted a bit.

"It's moving."

_Wait a second... I just mov-_

"Stop!" Kratos barked, recalling the floor was glass and the mist could make the familiar into phantoms.

"Fireball!"

"Genis, wa-"

Three orbs of red arched through the hole, Kratos dodged, and behind him were three blobs of fire smoldering on the glass. His cloak had caught and the seraphim ripped it off and stomped on it. The heat of the fires was nothing compared to the fire that smoldered in his eyes when he looked down that hole.

"Ate..." Lloyd gulped, Kratos could hear the sound. "That was bad..."

"What do you mean, it stopped moving! Aren't I good or what!"

"I think.. You might of hit Kratos..."

"Oh... opps..." There was an awkward silence that was punctured by a somewhat apologetic. "Do you think he's dead?"

"No, he's not... but we are the second we get back up. Can't you feel that glare, it's like Raine's glare of pain but worse, it's like a death glare or something." Lloyd hissed.

"Why don't you boys come up here?" Kratos said in a pleasant tone of voice that did little to hide the rage underneath.

"Why don't we just... stay here..." Lloyd whispered. "For several years."

"We'd starve if we did that." Genis pointed out.

"Better that then going up!"

"I know angry adults, I live with Raine, and if he comes after us I think he's going to get even more angry."

"Is that possible?" Lloyd squeaked. "He sounds pissed."

There was a pause, and the whispering voices began to drift back to the stairs.

"Lloyd... are you scared of him?"

"Of... course I'm not scared of him!" Lloyd flared. "I'm not scared of anything!"

Kratos flinched at the lie he could hear in Lloyd's voice. He looked up as the Chosen called to him, expecting some inane comment, some frilly little girl observation. He stopped breathing when he saw a mass of rock and clay pull itself from the wall. Cursing himself for letting his attention get entangled about something not related to the job he drew his sword, grabbed the girl and shoved her behind him. He should of shoved her for the stairs, for along the longest wall where statues of angels sculpted out of clay stepped down from their pedestals of earth and trudged after them.

"Run Chosen." He barked, nine to one odds, not a bad set.

"What's going... Oh shit, it's an army of them!" Lloyd drew his swords. "Come one Genis, let's go!"

"Dear Martel..." The elf whimpered. "Is there a time we could run the other way?"

Kratos growled when the boy skidded up to him, nearly slipped on the glass, and used his swords to catch himself.

"All of you get out of the way." They had a little bit of time, if they ran...

"No, we aren't running." The Chosen drew out her rings, she had two having lost the lucky third on in the Desian earlier. "Martel will let us win this fight."

"Umm yeah... what she said." Lloyd twirled his blades.

"Fine," Kratos snarled. "Chosen, elf, you stay back and use projectile weapons, and you." Kratos let his voice grow vicious as he grabbed the far too enthusiastic red clad child's arm. "Stay with them."

Lloyd jerked his arm, wrenched it free of the iron hard grip.

"Lloyd." The girl turned the name into a question.

"The ususal guys." Lloyd glared at Kratos, rubbed his arm then turned away.

"Alright,"

Genis did not pull back, just began his chant right there! Even worse the Chosen gripped her chircun's like one would hold knives perhaps. Lloyd charged, and Colette was only a few steps behind him. Cursing Kratos moved to grab the Chosen at least, it was a suicidal attack for three complete novices. She looked at him in shock, struggled in his grip.

"Let me go!"

"No Chosen my job is to protect you and if that means even from your friends so be-"

"We trust you, now you have to trust us!"

Kratos' grip loosened just a tiny bit, a woman with brown hair looked at him part in pain part in love. She was going into danger willingly, knowingly. She was going for a time back into the mouth of hell, knowing full well what to expect.

_I trust you, I know you'll do what you need to do, now you need to trust me. Maybe I'll get hurt, maybe I will die, but you have to trust me to try my hardest not to do either._

Kratos let Colette go and she spared a second to smile at him. Then she charged the monsters, as reckless and head strong as Lloyd was. They had no style, lashed wildly when the stiff limbs, ducked behind a screen of crossed weapons or just plain out ran from the counter attacks. Kratos watched for a few moments, picked out the rather simple pattern, and then found his place in it, and what was a shaky stand off, a frantic holding back turned to a victory.

Xxx

"Last... one..." Lloyd puffed. Colette and Genis had finally ran to the stairs, but only because they were so shaky on there legs they could not stand without supporting the other.

"You can pull back, I've got it." Kratos offered.

"Nah..." Lloyd whipped his face, ignored how drained he was. "I'm... good..."

"Hurmph."

Then they didn't bother with any more words. It had been nuts, ducking ad weaving under a mess of flailing stone arms. He smashed out with his blade, struck stone, ripped soft clay, leapt up and left impressive gouges on the broad robed chests of the earthen angels. Genis would smash into the marked sections with his fire magic, turn the clay brittle and dry, and the fired area would shatter under the next strike, the monster falling apart into rubble. Well if it was an important area that got hit...

But the trick was knowing the weak points, so Lloyd had been running and weaving, Colette behind him, besides him, trying to do the same. She'd finally pulled back, thrown her weapons and smacked them into the closer monsters. Then Kratos had gotten in. He sheared through the clay, didn't leave marks, he ripped the things apart, gouged the stone decimated the clay sections, and did all by himself what it was taking Lloyd, Genis, and Colette to do. Now the two swordsman were fighting side by side, no magic, no nothing but steel on stone.

The earth angel balled up both it's fists, smashed them into the earth like a hammer strike. Lloyd and Kratos who had been charging side by side split up, both took a differing side. Lloyd swiped at the arms, it was clay. Seeing that the Iselian called out, Kratos brought his sword around and neatly cut off the things hands. Now the arm stubs were swiping at them, the mercenary dove under the strikes, lashed out at the legs, a line of sparks told then it was stone. The mercenary was forcibly expelled from under the sweeping arms by way of a nasty kick. Cursing Kratos slid across the glass, spun in a dizzy-to-look-at speed and came to a stop at the very edge of one of the pits.

"Kratos, curl up!" Lloyd yelled as the monster charged the downed man.

Perhaps used to taking orders the mercenary did so. The monster, as did most, lost the fight the same way as did the wolves in the forest. It closed off everything but the target, Lloyd charged and using his ex-sphere jumped and kicked off the thing like he had the wall. It bent under the force of the jump, tripped over the ball shaped lump that was the mercenary, and went into the hole. Well it kinda went into the hole. It fell, it's massive arms pin wheeling, then there was a flash of light. Cussing in pain the mercenary rolled over, looked at the stone-clay statue thing, except it wasn't a statue, it was now a block. The block fell into the hole, there was a loud 'clunk' and the warriors looked at each other in confusion.

"I think we might have made a mistake." Kratos admitted with a blush, staring at the rubble that had been their foes.

Lloyd counted up the holes, the things Kratos called golems, and moaned.

"This sucks..." Lloyd gasped. "You're telling me.."

The wall shivered, there were eight golems standing on the pedestals. One was empty.

One block one empty pedestal.

"Not again!" Lloyd wailed.

"Hush, let me think." Kratos crossed his arms and stared at the glass floor, at the purple mist under the glass floor, Lloyd just kept a weary eye on the golems.

"We don't have time!"

"I wager the Chosen's presence sets them off." Kratos said calmly. "It's only logical, if things were to have gone as they were meant to she would be here alone."

"What!"

"You did know that didn't you? About the trials."

"I thought the priests..."

"Members of a pacifist order aren't going to pick up arms when an enemy approaches, even to save their Chosen, she might as well have gone here alone. That's not important now, let me figure this out..."

Not important, Lloyd wanted to slug Kratos for saying that! But slugging someone took energy, and he didn't have enough of that to do anything so he just sat and let Kratos think.

"Show me where the stairs are."

Shrugging Lloyd did so, they went down the spiral steps, walked through the chill purple mist, and looked down at the mess of broken bridges. Kratos stared at it, nodded, and then they went back up.

"We need two of the gaps filled, the rest aren't important."

"We have to fight all eight of those..."

"Actually so long as the Chosen.."

"She has a name you know!"

Kratos scowled and Lloyd cringed back from that glare.

"So long as the Chosen remains off the glass it should be a matter of pushing the beasts to the proper holes."

"It can't be that easy!"

Much to Lloyd's disgust it was.

Xxx

It was red, the first observation, it was pretty, the second observation, the third one that was of some significance was that it could manipulate mana. While Kratos did not like the little boy he was grateful that he offered something to the conversation that was constructive. Genis yawned when he got the ring to work, it only sputtered a few embers and to him that was something he was doing when he was four. Colette was leery of it, didn't even want to touch the thing fearing it's magic. Lloyd happily carried it for her, and then began what the Chosen, himself, and the elf would dryly refer to as the trial of the ring. Lloyd used it once, twice, was thrilled and like a little kid he kept using it. Over and over and over... When lighting the path back became boring Lloyd found another target.

Him.

The first time was an accident, Lloyd had honestly tripped while making it spit fire and the end of his cape had caught.

The half elf had whispered some encouragement and needing very little as was Lloyd's way the game was declared. The boys had made it their past time to singe him. Finally losing his temper he turned around and demanded the ring. Lloyd sulked, scuffed his feet, but at least Kratos wasn't having to live in terror of having his hair cooked off. The ring stayed in his pocket.

Until Colette asked to see. She studied it, read the angelic runes then gave it to Lloyd to 'cheer him up'.

Kratos then decided to have a little chat with Lloyd. He let the others go ahead and whirled on the boy.

"That ring so much as lines up with my hair or my cape I swear I'll vivisect you, do we understand each other?"

"Yeah," Lloyd yawned. "No offense, but your responses aren't all that funny anymore." Kratos felt his back twitch, Lloyd went on unperturbed by the instant death glare. "I mean the only reason I'm doing it is cuz Genis thinks it's funny."

"Funny!" Kratos sputtered, then glared at Lloyd, who was laughing at his expression.

"He's weird like that." Lloyd shrugged. "Guess it's an elf thing. Anyway I'm done so you can volosoc something else, alright"

Kratos' eye twitched.

"It is _vivisect_. And do you even know what it means?"

"Nope, why?"

Kratos took a deep breath, and while Lloyd looked at the path his friends had traveled Kratos wondered what the Hell had happened to his son.

"Mer phan."

"What? What's with the pitying look."

"Nothing, let us just catch up with the others."

Xxx

_Most holy Martel, hear the voice of a child._

_Hear the voice of a willing child, the voice of a youth, a pure one._

_One who has lived reading the words set upon the vault of the heavens._

_Your name the only name exalted upon these lips._

_Hear my voice Goddess._

_The voice of the falling world._

_Give this world wings so that it may fly to the heavens to your light, _

_Let it be known the passions of flesh have fallen away,_

_Let it be known the passions of the dark have been forsaken,_

_Let it be known the voice of sin has been stilled,_

_In myself, in all the world, for I am the embodiment of the purity,_

_Of the light,_

_Let all fall away and let there be light_

_Only light_

A soft song, half song half chant, light, and a mark. A stone lay over the heart, whose crystal threads would pierce that heart at the next seal. She would not be submerged in the scalding hot tides that crafted the world, would not be baptized in the fire that does not burn yet turns all to ash. She would not be poisoned, and then re-poisoned, and when the heart fails would power by shoved into her, and the light of the true heaven denied. She would receive light, all the light she could bare, until her slender form would fail her bit by bit. It's failing unnoticed, unseen, until the bitter end when at last blood would not stop.

She sang prayers to her Goddess, the elf sang his own prayers, and the boy in red looked awed by Remial's flashy appearance. He was stereo type of the angels, pale in face, a slip of a man obscured by long flowing robes. Soft wings, the color of snow, framed him, as did golden hair wind round his utterly dead eyes. Kratos gritted his teeth, wanted to grab these children, yell at them, beg them, to see. As he stood, arms crossed in the cool darkness he did not look to Remiel, he stared at nothing, appeared bored to death.

His own voice was raised in desperate prayer, a silent prayer, that echoed in the vaults of his mind since the day _she_ had died.

_Anna, help me, this must end this must be the last!_

_I can bare it no longer, help me, if there was ever a goddess in my life it was you. _

_You were my purity, my hope, for all my world. Do not forsake me!_

_Help me, let us end this, _

_Even though my hands blood seeped must once more be immersed in crimson._

_Make this bloody baptism the last,_

_Make this the last sacrifice!_

_I care not for Martel, oh my friend, forgive me, but I dare not any more!_

_Too much blood, too many children, this will be the last._

There was silence, the child cried out in joy as the angel called her father. Remiel looked to him, caught his eye, and smiled. A cold empty smile that said he had done as ordered.

He had been ordered to do this, to bring Kratos this pain.

Rage choked of the helpless cries of his soul, rage filled the empty abyss of his heart.

Another voice, not his own, not Anna's, it belonged to the embodiment of infinity, of creation, and at last spoke the words that he had waited years to hear.

_The time has come_.

Kratos nodded, smiled at the darkness even as the children were blinded by the glory of the light.

"So that was an angel! Wow we saw an angel Lloyd!" Genis squealed. "Wasn't that amazing!"

Colette wiped her eyes, tears of joy pouring down her face for she now 'knew' her father.

Kratos snarled, pulled away from the dark, disgusted and shamed. To hear Lloyd say something to the same affect as these children would have pushed him over the edge, he would lose it, draw his wing and damn well shake some sense into the lot of them…

"I dunno… I was expecting… something else?"

_What, what in Hell did you expect? Anyone who's read the vulking scriptures should be coached well enough in their lies to 'know' what to expect_.

"What did you expect Lloyd?" Colette said, the embodiment of 'Devine' patience, Kratos just went to the teleport disk.

"I… this is gunna sound stupid, but I don't think his wings were right."

"Lloyd, he's an _angel_ how can his wings not be right?"

"They just look wrong."

"For the thousandth time," Genis flared. "Angels don't have multiple wings; it's in all the scriptures! And you should be nicer to Colette's Dad, how'd you feel if I called your Dad short!"

"I… I'm sorry..." Lloyd hung his head. "I didn't mean anything bad about your Dad Colette, sorry I just wasn't thinking."

"It's alright Lloyd, I know you didn't mean anything bad by it!"

Kratos rushed past them, hope, pain, twisting in him.

"Hey, you alright?"

Lloyd looked at him in concern, _his son looked at him in concern_...

"Fine," He said curtly. "This room is too cramped, I will await for you down below." He bowed stiffly to Colette then activated the disk and let it's mana take him away.

Xxx

"Well here's my house Mr. Kratos!"

She expected some response, it was a cozy little cottage surrounded by flowers. He could think of nothing to say about it, nothing flattering since he wasn't one who liked plants over much. But he managed a laconic.

"Nice."

Considering the emotional ups and downs of the day he was pleased that he managed something.

"Grandma and I put in all the plants when I was little!"

"Ah."

"You don't talk all that much do you?"

"No."

"Oh well, since were friends I understand!"

Kratos managed a noise in his throat that she took as a response.

"Oh I know what's wrong, you don't like the _Quera_ herb." Colette bent on the small walk way and offered him a flower to smell. As mortal habit dictated, he did so, and adverted his face to sneeze violently. "Yep, just like Lloyd! He gets all sniffly and snippy when he smells it too!"

Charming… he stared at the plant, the name and shape of it burned in his memory in a heartbeat. Recalling seeing this bloom all about in Asgard during the summer he mentally resolved to make them pass that area before the hot season came upon the land. He'd be a poor guardian, hacking, coughing, and sneezing every moment for a few months. Colette put the small bloom back where it belonged, in the ground, her innocent mind unknowing that Kratos was imagining dipping ever last one of it's specie into an angelic mana stream and laughing like a maniac while they burned.

Well he thought it was him imagining it, the tingle from the stone over his heart made that source of the image in some doubt.

"Grandma!" Colette went through the door, embraced the elderly woman. A man, appearing to be a few years older then Kratos, smiled a sad little smile at the Chosen.

"Oh Daddy!" Colette ran to the blonde haired man and they met in a tight embrace. Surprised, pleased, but shocked, all that flashed in the man's open face. She saw it and buried her face into his neck. "I don't care that Remiel's my Daddy, you are too, nothing will ever change that!"

"That," Phadria smiled. "Sounds like something Lloyd would say."

"He helped me figure it out a little." Colette admitted.

Kratos leaned against the door frame; his posture had enough of a slouch in it that the eye would slide right over him. He did not wish to intrude upon this, but as a 'mercenary' he would be demanding some form of pay after all. If he had o act the heartless bastard he would at least determine the level of heartless right now. He rather enjoyed watching them talk, they forgot him, as it was supposed to be, but reality would soon come for them, rip them apart, he was about to clear his throat when something tapped against his legs. He turned, saw a short pudgy man in a bright red vest with a showy walking staff in hand. A young man, with that same oily black hair looked up at him in scorn. I seemed as if the boy and this elder would look at everything in scorn. The thing tapped against his boot again, the 'thing' being the tip of the walking staff.

"Ah Chosen one, your journey has been successful no doubt?"

The man looked at him, or rather over him, and spoke through him like one would a slightly ajar window.

Kratos felt his eyes turn to slits, the staff tapped against his heel, telling him mutely to stand aside. You used such a tactic on a dog, not a man. Kratos was not Yggdrasil's pet, was underling to no one, especially not this richly dressed poppin jay. The seraphim lifted his boot and brought it down on the walking staff, he brought it down… _hard_. He felt the end snap, and lifted his gaze from the broken staff to meet the eyes of the human before him.

"Hey, that's dad's staff you just broke!" The brat then pulled twin swords from his belt, one blade was already lined at Kratos' throat, the other was pointing at his belly.

_Where have I seen that completely awkward sword style before… is it a conscious mimic, and what of it if it is?_

"You don't even know how to hold those, put them away, boy."

The brat exploded, stammered some threat and swung despite the Chosen's protest. Kratos took a step back, the blades cut the air an inch in front of him, showing the boy was not one to pull back a swing. In that one move the brat showed himself to be violent, and not shy about shedding over people's blood.

_Let us see how you stomach shed blood when it's yours_.

Kratos stepped forward as the blades smacked into the wall and tangled, he didn't even bother with his sword, delivered a kick to the boy's gut that sent his sprawling onto a bed of freshly put in fertilizer.

"I apologize about the seedlings Chosen, Holyness." Kratos said, then brushed past the protesting man in his rich garb, picked up the son who was just as richly dressed and covered in that which he richly disserved. Holding him by the front of his tunic Kratos carried the boy, kicked open the date, and tossed the brat in the road still muddy from yesterday's rain.

"There's a well on the west side of the house, just follow the stone path." Phadria called to him, a smile on her face.

The fat man who was sputtering made a few incoherent noises of absolute rage, he did however, not go after his ward.

Kratos bowed to the priestess, and while he washed his hands at the well he evsedropped his keen hearing picked up every word, every protest. The father muttered something to his daughter, something about tending her wounds and getting cleaned up. It was the priestess and the well dressed man.

"He's going with the Chosen, him, he's just proved himself to be a homicidal maniac!"

"You're son's done worse to Lloyd and I've never heard you say a word against it, rather him then your boy, that's all I have to say about it. _Erick_."

"It's your mayor-ship, old woman."

Kratos wasted some water to clean of his boots, spotting a fork like gardening tool used it to scrape off the worse of the muck.

"You don't deserve that title, it was given to you and we all know why it was."

"So, is _Lloyd_ going? Since you seem so intent on sending our hope with crazed, degenerated specimens of humanity he'd seem a prime choice for the journey."

"You go too far in that, Lloyd is a good child, while your brat is anything but! If Kratos and Lloyd are signs of poor specimens of humanity your son doesn't even qualify as… I am a high priestess, I swear if you raise hand against me I'll have you excommunicated."

Kratos snarled, put some more speed into the cleaning, he dared not start then finish, or it might lay suspicions that he was not as he seemed.

"So is the dwarf spawn going?"

"That is his decision, Colette's, and the adults who are going on the journey with him."

"Good, this will be an opportunity to get rid of the non-human filth all at once. Ms. Raine Sage will be going, I've already sent messengers to the temple for her."

"She has a little brother…"

"He's twelve; he can take care of himself."

"Genis is a capable child, but would you orphan him in one stroke? She's all the family he has!"

"You seem eager to make the proper sacrifices yourselves, why should she and he be any different. It's all sacrifice for the Regeneration after all, the whole world makes its sacrifice."

The tool in Kratos' hand snapped in half. He tossed the pieces of the tool into some bush and dumped the last of the water over his boots. Clean enough.

"Where's the bloody well again?" The mayor's son growled.

"East side, you have to cut through the rose bushes. And you can leave your swords here at the door young man, I don't mean it literally."

Kratos pulled the bucket all the way up, dumped it's contents on the earth and then spent a moment knotting the rope so that it would take a bloody long time for anyone to untangle. Petty yes, but it made him feel just a little bit better.

Xxx

A woman's hand had lay on his shoulder, it wasn't _hers_, but he imagined _her_ not minding. The cane shattered, her feet unsteady, Phadria had asked him to give her a hand while she made some refreshment for her guests. He escorted her to the kitchen, away from the argument between the silver haired woman named Raine and the Mayor of Iselia.

"My brother can't go with us, it's too dangerous!"

"We have no funds or means set aside for the orphans of Iselia." The mayor all but purred.

"That son of a bitch." Phadria growled, Kratos rose an eyebrow and the old woman smiled slightly. "We swear Mr. Aurion, we are still human despite the robes we wear."

Kratos chuckled darkly; set the spices from the middle shelf she had asked him to get down for her while she puttered around the kitchen using the long table to support her weight.

"Lloyd will be going as well."

"What!" Raine flared. "No, Lloyd can not go with us he's…"

"The fact he is a friend of your brother is insignificant for my vote to say he goes."

"No it's not." Phadria muttered to herself. "You want that poor boy completely defenseless so you can sic that sadistic brat of a son you've sired on him." Kratos stared at Phadria and she sighed. "I am sorry Mr. Aurion, you are going to be wallowing in our back water and brutal personal hatreds and politics until you leave."

Kratos managed a shrug.

"Sit down Holyness, I can cook."

"Can you?" Phadria took the chair he pulled out for her with a wan smile. "That's good to hear."

She watched Kratos move about her kitchen, said nothing for a long time as the war between Raine and the Mayor continued.

"You have say in his, where will you stand?"

"They are children." Kratos worked the knife over the vegetables he was making for a salad. "Children should not be sent to their deaths."

Phadria blinked a few times, took a shuttering breath.

"Sometimes they are though, and we can't do a thing about it…"

Kratos met her gaze, saw the wet paths running down her face.

"We save those that we can then, and try not to think to hard about the others."

He went back to his work, and behind him on a shield of crossed arms the old woman lowered her head and cried.

Xxx

"Hey Lloyd, how ya been, buddy?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lloyd snarled, taking a step back and gripping his blades. Genis cringed behind him, but when none of Ivan's toadies came out from behind the bushes Lloyd relaxed, a little. The mayor's son wouldn't dare try anything here, not practically on Colette's doorstep! Even Ivan wasn't that brave, not now anyways.

"How was it, hiding back in school waiting for the Desian's to leave Lloyd-e boy?"

"I didn't hide, but I bet you did!" Lloyd flared.

"Yeah, dream on dwarf spawn. I fought them in the town!"

"Yeah, well I went to the Temple!" Lloyd growled.

Both boys glared at each other and Genis picked up a pebble. He knew what to do, they'd done this for years and years. He threw the pebble at the window, Ivan seeing the move drew his blades.

"You know what shrimp you throw that next pebble and I bet Lloyd's dog won't be able to find the freaking pieces when I'm done with you!"

"You and what army Ivan!" Lloyd drew his swords, wood verses steel. He was royally screwed.

The door opened and Kratos stood framed by the crimson light that fell from the fireplace that was blazing behind him.

"What's going on here?"

Lloyd sighed in relief, sheathed his weapons.

"We were just trying to get in."

"Liar, you were picking a fight!"

"No he wasn't, he's honest Kratos you know that!" Genis half protested half pleaded.

The mercenary stared at them, his gaze was like he was seeing the overs and unders of everything. He only stared at Ivan's drawn swords and the boy sheathed them with a nervous gulp.

"Come in Lloyd, they were about ready to send the city guard to hunt you down."

"That... doesn't sound good."

"Sounds like the usual you little fre- ack!"

Kratos grabbed Ivan by the scruff of his tunic, trotted him past the startled boys and then chucked him out onto the muddy street.

"Your presence has been dubbed disturbing to the Chosen one, make yourself scarce _boy_."

Snarling Ivan staggered to his feet, wiped the mud from his face.

"I swear to the Goddess I'll have my father exile you you…"

"Just ignore him." Lloyd waved off Ivan's sputtered threats. "He says crap like that to me all the time."

"Some day Irving, you aien't gunna have Phadria, or Frank, or that freak elf friends, or that bastard in black, to save your sorry ass."

That was a threat Lloyd could not ignore, it was an insult that he could not look away from. It insulted him and his family, it was the one attack that could never be ignored. He clenched his fists, shoved past Kratos and glared down at the Mayor's son.

"Any day Ivan," Lloyd snapped. "Any place, any time, name it and we'll fight out in the open like men. Unless you're gunna hide behind your family and cry every time you get nicked."

"Ha, at least I have a family and Mommy didn't abandon me to a dwarf. I bet the second she got a look at your face she killed herself…"

Scarlet, trembling in rage, Lloyd would have thrown himself at Ivan, pounded the bloody hell out of him. A hand held him back even as he moved to do so. Ice cold, even colder, that touch brought him back from the hate and steadied him. His brain blanked, he found himself walking on Colette's porch not even remembering what had happened.

Kratos had said something, then what? What had he said?

Lloyd looked to Genis, who was pale as a sheet; he didn't even need to ask.

"He said, I'll deal with it." Genis gulped. "I've never heard anyone sound so scary when they said that before Lloyd…"

Lloyd normally counted himself as brave, but he did not have the guts to turn around and see how Kratos 'handled' Ivan. They went in to the small cozy cottage and Phadria smiling at them gave them both a bit of food to eat. He didn't ask, and tried not to think about it as Kratos came back in, face utterly expressionless, manner as cold and distant as a statue.

He didn't have time to think about it as he got lost in the whole regeneration journey preparations.

Xxx

"What do you mean I can't come!" Lloyd had howled. "I did good in their, I held up my own and I protected Colette."

"That Chapel will be as nothing compared to the rest of the trials, she needs to be protected by those who can, who are skilled."

"Logically the more numbers the safer it is!" Genis had protested.

"Genis, I know you want to come with us but you can't…"

"But Raine…"

"Wait, your going Professor?"

Raine nodded, with all the blackmail the mayor had put her under she had no choice. Exspecially since he threatened to exile them both if she dared remain.

"Yes dear, I am a healer after all."

"But…"

"I'm sorry Lloyd, I really am, but I'm needed somewhere else."

Lloyd blinked back… tears? Kratos was surprised; he had not imagined the teacher and pupil were so close.

"Take care of Genis for me?"

"Of course…" Lloyd managed a shaky smile. "Why?"

"Because it's dangerous," Kratos had said in a slightly sympathetic tone of voice.

"Because," The mayor growled. "I ordered it. It is my will, and you should do well to learn to obey, those who don't obey are a danger not only to themselves but the entire village."

"Oh yeah, everyone knows you sic the Desian's on anyone who doesn't do as you say." Lloyd snapped.

"Obedience is the key stone of our lives, to be disobedient is against the Goddess' will, farther more since you're a filthy heretic and that means nothing to you perhaps a more immediate example should be placed before you. I do not sic the Desian's they come for those who disobey the treaty. You've skirted on that a time or two boy…"

"Oh you mean the treaty where they're not supposed to attack the village, what was this morning then?"

"Shut up! Get out! Now!"

"Colette, please, you've gotta let me come!"

Colette stared at the table, said nothing.

"I said get out!"

"Look, Erick, I don't care what the Hell you say! So why don't you do the world a fav-"

"Silence boy!" A hand lashed out and Lloyd staggered under the hit.

His legs buckled, he whipped a thin trail of blood left by a jagged edge on the man's wedding ring off of his face. Weakly he stood, drained from fighting Desian, monsters, and hiking; he was obviously down to his la dredges of energy. Dead silence boiled about them, Kratos shivered in fury, Raine in anger, Genis cringed against the wall he had been standing behind, Colette only whimpered with tears running down her face.

Taking a deep breath Lloyd turned on his heel, walked to the door. He paused, fiddled with the door knob.

"I'm sorry Colette…"

The door opened then slammed shut behind him.

"Wait a second, Lloyd." Genis cast the mayor an angry look, then went after his friend.

Colette stood, and then went outside before the Mayor could bully her into staying.

Kratos went to the window, pulled it open a sliver the children's voices drifted in.

"Oh Lloyd I'm sorry I never meant..!"

"It's alright Colette, it's not your fault. I just opened my mouth not thinking you know?"

"Lloyd are you OK?" Genis pipped.

"Heh, I'm fine." Lloyd laughed. "Erick just got me when my guard was down, and it's nothing compared to the crap Ivan throws at me. Birds of a feather huh?"

"Phh… Your shaking, you are _not_ OK!"

"I just need to sit for a little, then I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

"Here, Daddy has an extra jell, I don't think he'll mind you using..."

"I got some, no problem." There was the sound of someone fumbling though pouches. "Ung these taste nasty!"

"They look nasty, that's why I'd never eat one."

"You should probably eat an orange one too…"

"Eww, no way!"

"Lloyd, don't be such a baby! I swear Raine probably meant for me to look after you!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not infinity, ha I beat you to it! Hey, where's the well again? I need a drink to wash out the taste."

"That way. Just follow the stone path."

The mayor stiffened seemed ready to say something but Frank not so accidentally bumped him so the man spilled his tea on his lap. The mayor made a few muffled oaths; Kratos' glare encouraged him to keep his voice down.

"Well, I'm sorry your birthday didn't go that well, I made you some cookies, but if I had known I would have made you something more special."

"Oh I love your cookies."

"Uh oh…"

The last only Kratos could hear thanks to his enhanced hearing prowess, Kratos flushed a bit knowing that tone as he had spoken with it often enough when he had forgotten Anna's birthday.

"Hey Lloyd weren't you gunna make her a necklace or something?"

Lloyd chugged water –nearly drowned himself- to avoid speaking.

"_Lloyd, weren't you gunna make her a…"_ The half elf yelled on the top of his lungs, Raine blushed and shook her head.

"It's almost done!" Lloyd yelled back and Phadria, Frank, Kratos, and Raine, shook their heads, knowing from that tone it probably wasn't. "I'm sorry Colette, it's almost done, I'll have it ready for you before you go, I swear."

"Liar!" The elf hissed as Kratos moved to close the window. He had heard the Chosen say something about returning and promising to pay Lloyd a visit before the journey.

"Hey if I get started now I'll-"

"Get started _now_!"

"Hey, don't you start, you sound like Raine!"

"You forgot! Colette's birthday and you totally forgot!"

"I… I did not! I was gunna give her a ring but Dad flipped so I had to make the necklace. Anywa-"

Kratos slid the lock home as the Chosen opened the door to the living room.

"Hi," She smiled at them, more cheered for having talked to her friends.

Kratos noticed that the Chosen did not smile or even look at the Mayor.

Smart girl, subtle as it was the action had a meaning behind it that no one missed.

Perhaps the journey wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would originally.

Xxx

Night, the cold winds served as shadow's hands scuttled amongst the leaves of the trees as they walked. Kratos had been adamant, if Lloyd lived so close to a ranch then he was going to escort his client. He stubbornly put his foot down and the Chosen and her family had agreed. Though they said the forest was haunted with demons at night so that no one except Lloyd actually was brave enough to go outside, not even the monsters of two or four legged variety.

"With the amount of gald you paid me Ms. Phadria." The woman had insisted he call her by name so he had. "I'm not letting that girl out of my sight, especially if you keep your end of doubling it after the journey is completed."

It was a logical reason, good for his disguise.

It was in truth a lie, for in his heart he knew why he was going.

_I want to see him, need to see him, one last time._

He'll never look at me, even if it is him, he'll never accept me, so why go?

Because he needed to, a need screamed in his soul, he could deny it no longer.

The stars gleamed above, so bright, they whispered their secrets with words of light across the dark. Like that day so long ago, that spring so long ago when those hounds or earthly and unearthly nature had hunted. A wolf bayed out to morn the death of the moon, Colette shivered leaned against her mentor, Genis clung to his sister, and he strolled ahead at home in the dark. For it wasn't dark, their was light in the night sky, but they who looked only at the road, who thought only of light in terms of sun and hearth did not see. Would not see the soft glowing silver flecks across the back of the onyx sky, could not see the silver streaked foliage, hear the music of dark and wind across the leaves, the grass. They were deaf and blind, away from the glare of torches, away from the deafening glory of the morning light. Only he could see, and appreciate the world about him.

_I wonder, does he find such glory in the night as in the day? Can he see in this impure darkness as I can? It is my prayer you can my Son, one of a displaced father's prayers._

"You're really brave Mr. Kratos!" Colette said to him as they passed a sinister looking mess of shadows made by the entwined branches of a tree.

"It's just a matter of training the eyes to see in the dark." Kratos lied easily.

Easy lies bellied a hard bitter truth.

"Why did you wish to come when there is a party in your honor going on in Iselia?" He asked, staring at the Chosen, wondering why she would brave such a place -that was for her- filled with fearful demons.

"It's always worth it." Raine smiled, speaking for her pupil, for them all. "Lloyd and Dirk always make it worth it."

"Dwarven vow number one hundred and five, _A visitor of the home is_ _a visitor of the heart_." Genis chirped, sparing him a smile. "You know those things are kind of nifty…"

"Nifty?" Raine said in a hard tone.

"Ummm... Useful?"

"That's a little better." Raine ruffled that silky silver hair. "Don't worry, I know how Lloyd-ism's are catchy, you'll shake it off with a good long read of the 'Founding of PalmaCosta by slermon'."

Kratos strangled, the boy was twelve, he hadn't even had an easy time slogging through it and he was several thousand years old. It had bored him to tears and if he had been mortal it would have bored him to sleep. Anna had called the author sleepmon, the book had been her pillow for many nights until they had both decided to use the blasted thing as tinder for a fire when they'd run out. It had started some five or so fires.

"It's really interesting how the merchants made all those in clan treaties and became a burcracy."

The boy's interest in that section, a part so insanely boring that he _had_ defied his nature and had fallen asleep over it, was like salt on an open wound.

"Oh tell us about it Genis!"

Kratos twitched, his wings wanted to come out so he could fly away from that insane pair of elves and Chosen.

"Well you see a thousand years ago…"

"How far are we from the boy's house?" Kratos had to cut him off, if he heard about it he'd probably defy his nature again and pass out in the middle of the road.

"Wow." Colette giggled. "Now you sound like Lloyd! He always asks a lot of questions when the Professor or Genis start talking about history."

"Just… answer the question Chosen."

"We should be there really soon, hee hee… You even look all wide eyed and scared like Lloyd!"

Raine was favoring him with a long look.

"If this is an indicator of the level of your intulectual curiosity then perhaps you would behoove from listening in on a few of my lectures."

"Pardon?" Kratos had a sinking feeling in the vicinity of his gut.

"Well I am a teacher; you don't think that just because I'm on a journey that I'm not going to suddenly stop giving lectures."

His stomach was making it's new home around his boots at the moment.

"Yeah, the professor's a really good teacher, I bet she's the best ever!" Colette hugged her mentor and Kratos mentally sighed.

"What is your study of specialty Ms. Sage?"

Anything but history, I don't need everything I've seen and lived through parroted back at me…

"I've taken extensive studies of the history of ancient civilizations, governments, as well as modern history, and geography."

Damn I all it was history.

"Of course I dabble in medicine so I can better understand the affects of my healing mana has on my patients, but I've never really excelled at biology."

"Ah," Kratos would worry over that line 'never really excelled at biology' latter on. "Isn't that interesting?"

"You sound like you got a mouth full of R- errr bad cooking." Genis laughed. "I guess I am right, all swordsmen are dumb after…"

Kratos favored the boy with his 'death glare' and the elf shrinked back into his sister's shadow.

They traveled on in silence.

Xxx

A fight, blows, anger and rage, what a charming welcome it was. Lloyd blushed, looked at them nursing a sore cheek, and sighed.

"Guess you all heard that huh?"

Kratos did not inform the boy he had heard the last bit of evidence he needed. Did not tell them all how he had the dubious honor of listening in onto the whole conversation.

"I'm sorry Lloyd, because of me…"

"Genis, it's alright." Lloyd's voice became calm, soothing. "It's fine OK, don't ever think it was your fault. I think… that was coming for a while now anyways, the timing was just really rotten. I'll tell Dad we have some visitors and I'll chuck some food together, you guys look starved."

"If it's alright…" Colette blushed as her stomach rumbled.

"No problem." Lloyd smiled, "Hold on a sec I'll be right back."

Kratos looked around; he looked at the bridge of shoddily strapped together logs and scowled. How could anyone trust their lives to something a good swing of a blade would break into mere tinder? How dare _anyone_ trust his son's life to such a…

Taking a deep breath Kratos favored the small house with a jaded eye. He who lived in a palace of marble and crystal, who had dinned in the great hall of Kings in Meltokio, who had broke bread with the high clerics of Sylvarant in the opulent section of the PamaCosta chapel. He knew the luxuries of the elite, and he knew the simple luxuries of the road. The place served to keep water off one's head, was made cozy perhaps by the people's presence it held, but was strictly spartian, he could easily see the smithy that the house jutted out of, for the smithy was built with obvious care and caution where the house was very slop shod. The entire of the roof's shingles probably needed to be replaced, one of the walls looked like it had been on the brunt of a battering ram and... Well someone was fixing things, there was a ladder put alongside the flank of the house, someone had probably been tending to it if the pile of shingles scattered about meant anything.

Still the idea of his child living in such conditions -by a Ranch no less!- set his teeth to biting down on the edge of a storm of angry words.

"Guests? Why in Gnome's good name did you leave them standing out in the cold? Aye we aren't done having words don't you doubt, but we'll have our talk much latter lad. Leaving… Colette! You left that poor slip of a lass in the _cold_! Oh we'll talk young man, about your lack of good manners among other things!"

There was a stomp of heavy feet, and a dwarf, dressed as no sane dwarf ever would be dressed for he looked every inch the human blacksmith, tried his best to fill up the human sized frame.

"Come in… come in… You wont be standing out in the cold on my watch!"

Kratos stared at Dirk, something tugged at his mind, but that infernal block in his mind, a wall he could not pound his fists into, could not scale over, a searing darkness that no light of thought would penetrate. Kratos rubbed his head, as a searing pain slashed it's way from temple to temple then did a few full out passes on his dazed mind… He looked again at the dwarf, was surprised at his lack of surprise at the dwarfs human garb, but said nothing of it. Dirk stared at him, stroked his beard, but said nothing.

_So this is the man who's been a father to my child I come to his step and he invites me for dinner. No caution, no reservation, a complete stranger in the company of acquaintances of my son would be at the very least put under some surveillance by me, but look there he ignores me! He is a fool, an honest one, who would be fooled by any wolf wearing a sheep skin cloak._

Kratos let his lip curl into a sneer for all of a heartbeat, then composed himself, restrained himself. If Lloyd took it into his head that he did not like his "father" then Kratos would be given even colder treatment then he had at the temple. Not a cheering thought that.

"I'll make you all some stew, some dwarven stew eh? Now what's the occasion besides the lasses birthday?"

"Well the angel's came down from heaven and… Mr. Kratos, aren't you coming in?"

"No, I'll be outside."

"No guest of mine…" Dirk began heatedly.

"Sir," Kratos said in such an icy tone the fiery dwarf lost his bluster. "It would be to all of our greater comfort if I stayed outside."

_Because if I go inside and see you and _my_ Son together, acting close, I might just lose it_. _I don't know if I'd kill you or myself or us both, but one of us would be dead and that would definitely destroy Lloyd. You see I care more for my Son then myself. I protect him, even if it's from something as simple my own anger and violet impulses that my anger can bring. I can distant myself enough from my anger to see when I am a danger to him and those he cares for and extract myself from that situation. I would never strike him, no matter my rage, I would never lay a hand on him! Unlike you..._

Kratos felt his back twitch, felt the muscles writhe, he needed to get away from them before his wings ripped their way out of him.

"If you could point me to your water pump, I need to make use of it."

_To wash away the blood, because I'm all of five minuets from drawing my wings._

He gritted his teeth in pain, probably looked like a homicidal maniac teeth smashed together, eyes blazing, back spasoming, luckily the dark was so great he imagined none of them to see it.

"Here." Lloyd tossed something small, metallic, at him. Kratos caught the bronze key, looked past the dwarf at his son. "It opens the door to the smithy, should be the first thing you see to your left."

"Lloyd… I don't be trusting this one, he's stranger then that damned dog…"

"Dad, for the hundredth time, Noishe is not dumb! And he's probably not a…"

"Later Son, we'll talk, for now we have guests."

Kratos stormed off, barely managed to open the damned door –he used his mana to pick the lock as the key wouldn't work for him- and closed it. With yet another spell locked the door behind him. He pulled off his tunic, and just to be safe worked off his pants, threw the garments to the side. Pain fell upon him, he dank to his knees shivering, gasping out softly despite himself. Light licked the sides of his back, like hellish fires, for the hottest of fire was blue, came that light. His muscles tensed, braced the feathered membranes that rested under his skin. He bucked violently, gripped the smooth wooden floors as his skin slit apart and began to drip red.

It had been months since he had drawn them last, couple that with the mental turmoil he'd gone through and the fact he had almost drawn several times earlier today. This was the consequence. He was a master of knowing consequence, of knowing the lash of the Gods. Still he cried out in pain under the lash.

Closing his eyes he gasped, as he felt the muscles lock, his hair fell into his eyes as he bucked violently and managed to muffle a scream by biting his hand. The fires built inside of him sheathed his wings with the hue of blue tinted stars. It burned, under his skin it burned, he prayed it would not be so bad he would have to claw them out. But it wasn't it wasn't going to be a repeat of that nightmarish time he had refrained from drawing them for two years. They pushed, the wings fully formed thrust out of him, dripping blood, spreading the length of the wounds and putting hellish pressure on the rest of his old scars.

It was agony, purest agony as muscles literally broke off, snapped and reformed. He could feel, and knew from Anna's somewhat strained descriptions that his back literally bucked and heaved while the rest of him was still. He panted like a dog, felt the muscles tighten, tense, and find differing patterns. His wings flapped, set a rain of crimson about him.

He shuddered in something like ecstasy for as they slid out of him, as the pain left, there came a sweet sense of power. It replaced pain. The rest of his frame shivered as power flowed, changed, reformed him. His very metabolism shifted from its slightly human patterns to one that had no needs; that fed off of mana. The world changed, became more intense, he could feel the knot of earth mana in this room, the taste of fire mana of the forge, the life and history of this place through the elements of poured into him. Such a sensation was as close to religious rapture as he had ever gotten, to him, this was a touch of the Gods sight. To Yuan, Mithos it was a tool, to him it was not a tool. He cried out softly in passion, indulged to allow himself to feel these things as he was alone.

How bitter it was alone now. Anna had been a Sensitive, a human capable of feeling the flow of very strong mana. Their bond had made her capable of sharing this, her presence had halved the pain and had doubled the pleasure. He recalled witht a pang the first time they had worked what he was into… Well it had made their love making so very sweet as they had both shared that rapture that had tied into a more… baser show of pleasure and affection for them both.

He mentally kicked himself, exerted some disceplien, for the side affect of the euphoria was a stroking of all the levels of pleasure, even the animal ones. All he had to do was rebuke himself, that this not the thing to be thinking about with your Son a room or so away, and he resisted the temptation of his never forgetting memory and his bodies confused baser messages.

Behind him were four fully formed wings, the longest was the length of his arm and perhaps another grown man's fore arm, the shortest ran the length of his wrist to his index finger. The other two pairs were only slightly smaller then his primary. The all dripped blood, a charming image. How ironic they had feared the angel of death, certainly the artisan who had done the painting four milenia ago had shared Lloyd's stance. No fear of him, only an interest, a curiosity. That woman had to be the bravest woman ever born, second to Anna of course, she'd taken in the sight of his wings, told him to stand still, stop the flapping, and that he would be mopping up the mess after they were done.

And Kratos had honestly mopped up the mess, the Angel of Death cleaning up after himself, go figure that.

He cracked a slight smile, felt a little better, the pain was gone, but then so was every other sensation in him. He could barely feel that the flat plane under him was wood, only memory allowed that. He closed his eyes, knew his body, rod out the fit, the angelic mana filtered through this cruxis crystal, through the mess of aions in his blood. He sighed as he could tell the grains of wood from the wood itself, the dust was a annoying scratching under his digits. He sighed, opened his eyes as his world shifted to its hyper sensitive state that served as normalcy.

He looked, surveyed the amount of blood and sighed, charming it was on the walls. A good thing he always carried a rag and some soap, he was going to need it.

Xxx

(A/N OK nasty part is done, I'm through grossing out, it's a safe read from here on out.)

Lloyd talked to Genis, hung with Raine, and Colette, it was for them like every other time. What made it horrible was it was the last. That knowledge was like a cold lump that kept getting bigger every time he spoke to them, he decided to go 'check on Kratos' it was a good excuse, he honestly didn't expect to find the guy outside, figured he went back to Iselia. Dad made him take a bowl of stew, his and the mercenaries, with him.

Honestly Lloyd couldn't tell the difference between the bowls, he's had a bite but it had felt like a rock in him so he hadn't dared eat any more. Oh well, if Kratos was hungry enough he could have both, and if neither of them could eat Noishe would get a treat.

"What the?" Lloyd stepped over a small river of water that started from the smithy and rolled down the side of the small hill to blend into the greater river. "Hey Kratos, you OK in there?"

"I'm not in there, but I am fine." Came a terse reply.

"Oh," Kratos was behind the smithy, but the only thing back there was… Lloyd put some speed into it, and if he had lingered he would have seen a blue feather drift down the fake river, carried off by the water of the pump.

Turning the bend, in the shadows of the smithy was a grey stone, and though it was a normal slab of concrete it seemed touched with marble in the starlight. Besides it, staring down at it, was the mercenary. His hand stroked the blunted triangle base, the motions were shockingly tender. A wind sighed, a hint of winter on it so subtle that only the experienced who knew to look for the slight crispness would pick up on it slid over the site. Llyod smiled, that was his Mom's way of being with him, he had always loved winter, and he had a feeling that she had loved it too. Sighing quietly the Iselian looked at Kratos, the man had clasped his hands behind his back, he steeped to the side, almost like an honor guard or something, and turned to stare at Lloyd.

"If I may ask?" Came the tense question.

"Mom." Lloyd smiled sadly. "She died when I was little."

Lloyd had meant to come here when everyone had left, or just to spend a little time now to vent if nothing else, but with Kratos there he couldn't now could he?

"You hungry?"

Kratos shook his head, stared at the ground.

_Oh Gods, here it comes, the speal, 'I'm so sorry your Mom died, I'm so sorry you have a dwarf Dad, you poor pathetic..'._

And funny as it was maybe it would be too much for him to take, he couldn't, didn't want to deal with it today. He'd dealt with a lot today and he knew that that would be the last thing.

"Shut it." He snapped as Kratos opened his mouth. "I don't want to hear about how sad it is Mom's dead." Fire flashed in his eyes, stubborn defiance. "She's not dead. The only people who think that she hasn't been there for me are the stupid ones, alright!"

Kratos stared at him, said nothing, then at last it came out as a mere whisper.

"There is no name."

"She… wasn't able to tell us that before she died, and… I don't remember."

"I see." Kratos stroked the stone, his eyes distant.

Nothing, silence, it was creepy how Kratos just seemed to… belong here. He had exploded when Colette, even Genis had come here. They had tried to console him, comfort, and maybe that's what caused him to get nasty with them. Kratos just continued to stroke the stone.

Lloyd set aside Kratos' bowl, sat cross legged one the ground and toyed around with his food.

"It's not fair," Lloyd muttered to his Mom, not caring how Kratos could hear, whatever, Kratos didn't matter. "It's no fair how Colette's gotta go on this journey. I don' like it, but I can't do a thing except go with her. She doesn't want me to go, she's hiding something, but you know how she is, she'd sooner die then tell what's wrong." Lloyd sighed into the night air, ignored how Kratos was just staring at him. "I'm sory mom, I hope… that if they caught you… I didn't have anything to do with you getting caught. Gods what a crappy thing to say, some Son I am!" Lloyd laughed bitterly, gave up on even toying with the food. "I don't even think about how it felt, I just want to know that I didn't cause it… the angels came today… well one did… Remom, Romin… something like that…. Man they have some pretty weird names. The Desian's tried to stop us but we managed to get by, though… it was kinda hard…" Lloyd went on to summarize the day, habit his Dad called it, but to him it was just talking to Mom. She didn't talk back much, but she listened, which was all he needed for now. Just someone, -besides Noishe- to listen.

"Lloyd…"

Startled Lloyd looked up to the dark, saw Kratos, he'd totally forgotten about… oh shit half the stuff he said had been to grip about him hadn't it? He cringed back, and was startled to see, just for a sec, a flash of pain in Kratos' eyes.

Kratos knelt on the stone besides him, gently stroked his hair.

"No matter what they tell you… she is listening, and some day she will answer, you will get your answers, all of them."

Tears burned in his eyes, a pleasant pain at having someone just say that to him when everyone else had said the opposite.

Kratos smiled slightly, stood.

"Wait…. Umm aren't you going to eat?"

Kratos shook his head. "I am one of those people who don't have much of an appitite, I have a delicate stomach."

"After you got kicked into next week by that rock I'd have a sensitive stomach too." Lloyd grinned up at the man. "Well if you aren't gunna eat just dump it in the slop tray by the pen."

Kratos blinked, seemed to think something over, then Lloyd guessed Kratos changed his mind, because he sat and took up his bowl.

"Perhaps a bite won't kill me." The mercenary placed the bowl in his lap.

"So…" Lloyd nibbled on the cooling stew. "What do you do when you know everything."

"When I know everything I'll let you know of my plans." Kratos countered.

Jerk, had to show off how smart he was…

"Do you want the truth?" Lloyd nodded. "The truth is this. It's not the knowing, or the not knowing, it's what is known and unknown and what you make of it that is true damnation or salvation."

"You…" Lloyd swallowed a mouthful noisily. "Think waaaaay too much. You're gunna have to lighten up when you travel with Colette."

Kratos rose an eyebrow.

"You don't believe me?"

"As dad would say, sounds like crazy talk. Star chasing, moon staring, crazy talk."

"Hurmph." Kratos took a bite and made a face and coughed up the stuff. "Tomato." He said sheepishly.

"Ung… man I knew Dad would get back at me, that's it give me that." Lloyd snatched the bowls. "Hey Noishy, special supper, with your favorites. Tomatoes!"

"Bark!"

The bowls were dumped and Lloyd returned empty handed. He considered the party going on inside, he'd go back in a minute, there was one last thing he had to do for the night. Much to Kratos' shock Lloyd sat down by the stone and leaned against it, looked up at the stars.

"That is not very respectful to the dead." Kratos said at last, in a tight somewhat angry sounding voice.

"Look," Lloyd lowered his gaze from the heavens to stare at Kratos' pale shadow wreathed face. "I am being respectful, I don't think my Mom would like it if I just came here and looked at her, OK. This area is her place, I come here to eat, talk, and star gaze, and I'm not interested in what you think of as respectful. I'm being respectful to her as a person, not as someone would be to a rock that isn't her but is."

"A monument." Kratos supplied.

"Yeah, that works." Lloyd looked at the sky.

Kratos gently gripped the edge of the stone, stroked it, then used it to pull himself to his feet. He leaned against the stone, looked up to the sky, and seemed to think of stuff far away.

"Hey, look!" Lloyd pointed and Kratos turned to the section of sky that held Martel's crown. "Well I didn't miss it after all!"

"The diamond's flare." Kratos said softly, a thin smile on his lips. "A benediction from Martel upon the heart, to mend a broken heart and to keep all same hearts together."

"That's what it means? I just thought it was really neat. I come out here with Noishe to watch it sometimes, but he's being bad so…"

"It happens every two years…."

"When it's lined up with the crown." Lloyd finished. "Other wise I just flashes off of nothing every spring and no one knows why it does it."

Kratos stopped stroking the grave, his face went still his lips moved but said nothing. Before Lloyd could say anything though he felt it, a weird tingle in the air the scent of winter became really strong. Llyod shivered as his ex-sphere tingled, stroked the stone and felt a weird calm that only came at this time for him. Every year he came out here, sick, well, when the spring teased him with a hint of winter on it's breath, and the stars seemed alive. It was over pretty fast, he sighed, from his pen Noishe howled the passing of the flashing star. Normally he'd fall asleep, let himself just drift off with that pleasant warmth tingling in him, making him feel safe.

"Hope caught in silver,

Bound by eternal flame,

When darkness fall I look up and see you once again,"

Kratos' voice was slightly choked as he sang that part of a song. And Lloyd wondered, if somewhere in a secret place Kratos had a hidden grave. Somewhere no one was supposed to go, hidden away behind a home, where everyone wanted him to forget.

"You OK?" Lloyd awkwardly patted the man's hand.

"Perhaps, I will be." Kratos muttered, looking at him, not through him, no picking him apart, just looking at him all intent. Kratos let out a soft sigh. "It's been years since I even thought of that song."

Lloyd went back to looking at the sky.

"Perhaps you weren't supposed to think of it until now, until something special happened. I mean the star was pretty special and most people don't even bother to see it."

"Perhaps, that's it."

"How's the rest of it go? I mean if you wouldn't mind."

_Kratos looked to the heavens, to the star that no longer flashed with the spring light._

"_When Aska flees the heavens,  
_

_The night then comes to life,  
_

_A multitude of human hope then light the darkened sky,_

_Hope caught in silver,_

_Bound by eternal flame,_

_When darkness fall I look up and see you once again,_

_No mater where you are,_

_We all see the same dark sky,_

_And from same sky we see same stars and come together you and I,_

_No matter where you are,_

_Forsaken or alone,_

_Together you and I will come no matter what dangers show,_

_I'll be by your side before the edge of fiery wing,_

_Comes over edge of world,_

_You must only call my name,_

_The name on night winds carried,_

_Is the surest messenger of all,_

_And I shall hear and I shall come no matter what."_

"That's a nice song." Lloyd whispered, not able to think of anything else. "Sheesh, that sounds lame. It's a promise. I hope you can keep it."

Kratos smiled, tears glittered in his eyes.

"It's time I saw to keeping it." Kratos whispered. "I hear you are coming with us on the journey."

"Yeah." Lloyd traced out the head of the great lion of courage with his gaze. "That's right."

"Good," The mercenary chuckled. "You are nodding off Lloyd, go inside before your friends accuse me of boring you to sleep."

"Wouldn't…" Lloyd yawned. "Want that…. Raine might Raine you…"

"Hmmm…. Indeed… go on, or I'll drag you to the pump and wake you up that way."

"I'm going I'm going…." Lloyd yawned. "Umm if Dad asks, we ate the stew."

"We ate the stew." Kratos smiled, knowing that Lloyd was asking him to keep him out of trouble, for once Kratos would help him in that.

"Thanks. G-night, see ya in the morning Kratos."

Kratos said nothing, hummed the old tune to himself, stroked Anna's grave with a sad smile on his lips.

"Excuse me, you be Kratos?"

Kratos turned, saw…. The dwarf. He frowned, lost his good mood almost instantly.

"I am Kratos Aurion." The seraphim acknowledged, watching the human shaped creature like he'd watch a foe. A rival, and in that Dirk was all those things for him.

"You save my Son's life, if what he's telling me to be true, and his hand, a craftsman's lively hood a hand is."

Kratos shrugged, held onto Anna's grave for support, expecting he'd need it to make it through this skirmish.

"What do you want with me Dirk." Kratos whispered, he looked up at the man and the dwarf shivered.

For when he met the mercenaries eyes… they were fey, filled with the stars.

"To thank you sir…. And to ask you a question. I heard a little of your chat with my boy." Dirk stroked his beard. "What is he to you?"

"Pardon?" Kratos met the dwarf's eyes coolly, he'd stared at dying men with that ice flecked gaze.

"I know you, and I think you know me." Dirk said softly. "So let's no be all coy about it. I want an answer, and if I don't get it by gnome I'll tie my son up to keep him from going with you."

"He would hate you for that."

"He would be safe." Dirk growled, shifting his belts around. "I keep my boy safe no matter what."

Kratos met those earth hued eyes, smirked, a sneering smile that made the dwarf's bluster into nothing.

"He is a good person,that is all he is to me."

"You're a damned liar!"

Kratos rose an eyebrow, said nothing.

"You're a merc. I'll make you a deal." Dirk pulled out a dagger, the hilt was shapped into wolf's head, the blade gleamed with mana infused steel.

"And what coin do I trade for so mighty a gift craftsman?"

"You leave my son alone." Dirk shivered. "I don't know you and I do and when those things crop up in my boy it leaves him in bloody tatters. I'm not as strong as he is, he isn't strong enough for more. You take this, you leave him and me alone, and that's that."

Kratos let the dwarf all put ram the item into his hand.

He did not close his fingers, he stroked the steel hilt with a finger and let the wolf fall from it's sheath. The red knife gleamed crimson as it fell, clattered against the stone.

"You protect your son, but with what coin does that protection cost him, consider that craftsman." Kratos stepped past Dirk, paused. "As a father I know the urge, to run in and save them, to step in every time. A child must fall when they learn to walk, they will perhaps bleed, perhaps cry, that is the way of a child. It is the way of a father to let this pass, to held them when it hurts too much, to sooth away the pain, but we must put them down and trust them to try again. And to know, that someday they will succeed."

Dirk stared at the man baffled.

"Don't short him, don't make him lose this chance to stand on his own, he deserves that much, doesn't he?"

Kratos walked of into the dark, to him and Lloyd that dark was not pure. But even to the dwarf it seemed a evil thing, a foul omen when Kratos faded into the night.

But evil or not, Dirk was haunted by the man's words.

They would pray on his mind until the dawn of the next day, when his son would come to him intent on his own path. It would guild a letter, what might be one final letter. A letter that Lloyd would find on the road and open to read and smile over. Where Kratos found the pieces of his life that night Dirk began to realize something, something about the man that would haunt him. One night, before all came to an end Dirk opened a small box under his sons bed, a hundred letters to a friend were laid out, he would shift through that pile until he found a paper. A drawing, Tylor's depiction of a character from Lloyd's dreams, form a star tale.

It wore black, black robes, and held a red blade in it's hand. The auburn hair fell into the eyes, the eyes were black pits that housed the stars.

_What does he mean to you?_

_He is a good person…_

Undernieth the drawing were three words. 'Derris fa sith', the angel of death.

_What does he mean to you?_

Holding the picture Dirk began to tremble. Recalled something Lloyd used o say.

_The angels are good and bad, some are nice and others look nice but are mean. That's what Daddy told me._

"Oh Gods, oh Gods…" Dirk let the drawing fall, he could do nothing, for Lloyd had been gone for months. "Not my son, please don't take my son."

_You must trust him stand alone,_

"If you hurt him, I swear to gods if you hurt him…" Dirk began to cry, helpless, utterly helpless.

_As a father I know… What coin do you pay?_

Dirk paid as Kratos had paid so long ago, in biter tears, but tears are the price sometimes of hope.

Xxx

"Hey Kratos, bro, what's up!" Lloyd pounced him from behind, and Kratos easily rolled him off his shoulders.

"How many times…"

"Yadda yadda… whatever old man."

"Lloyd."

"Sorry, sheesh." Lloyd brushed the dust out of his hair. "It drives me nuts you so kick m tail even when you aren't trying."

"Habit." Kratos smiled.

"Oh it is so not habit; I got a hit last match."

"You still have a long way to go, pupil." Kratos rolled his eyes, pinning Colette's word on their relationship.

"Phhh… hey if I am your pupil can I fall asleep when you talk?"

"Only if you hold two buckets."

"Hugely funny Kratos." Lloyd stuck out his tongue. "come on, you promised!"

"I'm, going to run out of tales."

"A promise is a promise. And didn't you tell me a real swordsman keeps his promises? So if ou didn't you'd be half a swordsman? Then I'd really kick your butt then!"

Kratos chuckled, ruffled Lloyd's hair fondly.

"Alright Lloyd, a promise is a promise, you have me there." Kratos looked to the fading sky. "You see how the colors fade behind the sun as if sets? There is a place, far north of here, where all color gathers…"

Lloyd sat at Kratos' feet, let the tale take him far from the confusing world of angels and seals. And for a time Kratos too forgot the angels, and the wings they would blot over his new found happiness. He was home, at long last he had come home to find his son waiting for him. As he drew an arm over his son's shoulders, Lloyd did not draw away from him as before. Under the guise of brotherhood Kratos would offer what he could to his way ward child. Until the worlds became safe for truth, and though the truth must lead to tears it would be the last set, and if the gods were smiling those tears could someday end in a smile.

Review responses: Long chapter Long responses, just bare with me, nod your head, I'll be quiet soon enough.

Ark Navy: Sorry… yeah the short story class I'm taking is making me write longer stuff… the teacher isn't pleased with the thirty to forty page stories I'm turning in, but I can't seem to trim the setting and plot enough to make it a short story. She used to say that I couldn't write longer stories/chapters… until she scanned my get into the class submission and read three chapters of "Shards". Anyway this chapter shoult be the last and longest of the batch since it covers a large span of time.

Anyhow from my POV: Colette-isms are fun to write and confuse readers with, Lloyd-isms save me a ton of time and wordiness, and Kratos-isms are harsh, fun, and hard to write.

Noishe-isms, those are for the obsessive TOS people, or for obsessive "dog" people.

Gamecubegirl1:

Bows, I be tryin' t' knock the socks off me readers don'cha'know… Sorry I've been reading "Eddings" lately and one of the character's dialogues is really catchy. It is actually, Kratos is still mourning, he's just keeping it inside, you'll have seen that "hopefully" by the time you have finished the reading. To answer you question in the Kratos Lloyd Falnoir scene there's a chunk of dialogue like this.

"_Did you know I was your son the whole time?"_

"_I knew the second I found Anna's grave at your house."_

A lot of people who write the opening scene have Kratos kind of wondering when he hears Lloyd's name, have him shrug it off when Lloyd gives him attitude, and then have a break down at Anna's grave and realize it's his son. I've always wanted to ask writers who go that route is Kratos really having a breakdown because he "finds out" Lloyd is his son, or because he sees what his son has become. I mean Kratos has like this ultra high IQ and then his son turns out to be a total idiot. I think I'd be crying a little too.

Funny thing, that clever move… wasn't planed. I didn't do "Shards" at the way beginning because I had like six versions of the Vidarr fight, couldn't pick which one worked best, couldn't figure how to handle Kratos w/o spoiling stuff, and had not finished DES (On chapter five when I started my notes I think) when I was putting my notes for Shards together I didn't know a lot about Lloyd or Kratos at the time, so I skipped that section of the game to save myself some grief.

"Hostile?" I was so disappointed when I picked the "What did you say?" option when I started out. I was about as thrilled as Lloyd was when Kraots showed up first play through because I was kicking Vidarr's butt. I didn't need Kratos' help, didn't want it, he was arrogant, had a nice voice -I love Clark's other VA work but ah well I'm straying off topic!- but still didn't redeem the fact that the guy got on "my" wrong side right off the bat. I loved the hostility between Lloyd and Kratos at first. My parent came into the room, right when I had just picked that option and said something to the effect of it being, an "intense" scene. The slight sniping back and forth between the two was interesting and kind of stroked my writing muse the right way I guess cuz I promised myself to write a one-shot Lloyd Kratos fic centering around their hostility for each other.

Now look where that stupid impulse has gotten me!

I blazed through the game and now I'm writing "Shards" a plus 400 page story, all those fic-lets, DES, and it's _still_ not shutting up. If only I could control what triggers it… Oh well, when I got to the half way point of DES I lost that 'make Lloyd and Kratos' fight idea, just didn't work and seemed to cruel to Kratos you know. But then as I finished DES and realized there was still a story to tell and it needed telling. Hence "Broken" came to be.

I forced myself to make up my mind about the Vidarr fight, took a little from everything I'd written though I wanted to do a flame hammer strike thing but I just didn't think it could fit… Don't worry if you're confused I think Magnius will do it in the final battle between him and Lloyd. Anyways to cut this short, I re-played the beginning of the game, the intro and the Vidarr/temple stuff. I realized that there had to be a fight, Lloyd and Kratos were just way too different, and two strangers both trying to protect Colette, complete opposites, neither knowing of the other's significance, plus male machismo...

I guess I got my Lloyd Kratos fight scene after all.

I forsook the Kratos suddenly discovers, because like FairyV once said to me, I couldn't believe it that he just didn't _know_. Totally in the same boat, so Kratos may not want to admit, may be at war at himself for the whole temple and after (as implied in Shards) but he knows, even if he doesn't want to. As Kratos says to Anna in the end.

"It's not the knowing, or the not knowing, it's what is known and unknown and what you make of it that is true damnation or salvation."

Well that does it for me here! I'm going to work on Shards now!

Thanks to all who have reviewed, read, or given my profile, stories, or e-mail, a click!

Kasan Soulblade

ANGELIC TRANSLAIONS

Lloyden: Formal version (AKA angelic) of Lloyd's name, also known in literal translation as "star edge"

Mer: I am

M'er: My

M'erah: Mine

Ne: No

Ne…nu: double negative, more meaning then just Ne.

Oris: Son

Phan: Sorry

Suda: Forgive

Us'il: You are

Ust: You, your, context of sentence determines its meaning.


End file.
